Men Are Sharing The Misconceptions People Have About Their Bodies, And It's Proving We NEED Better Sex Ed
We hear a lot about men being SUPER confused about the female body, or really the body of anyone with a uterus (see: all the TikToks where guys discover how pads and tampons work), but we don't often hear about the funny misconceptions women have about penises, testicles, semen, sperm, etc.
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Well, recently, Reddit user u/that_person14 asked, "Whats the best example of 'women not understanding a man's body' that you've ever heard?" and I have to admit...I was guilty of a few of these.
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Here are 35 funny misconceptions people had that prove we mayyyybe need better sex education worldwide:
1."Met a woman in college who legitimately thought that penises have jointed bones in them, like phalanges or something. ... She said she assumed that’s why erections were called boners."
2."One of my exes got it in her head from Cosmopolitan magazine that if she squeezed my balls I'd make a funny noise. The noise I made was, 'I think I'm gonna go home.'"
3."I've got a cousin who lost one of his balls. One day, over the years, the conversation came up around my grandma, and she says: 'It's a shame. He'll only ever be able to have boys or girls, but not both once he has kids.' The whole room went dead quiet until someone was like: ''Scuse me?' She says: 'Because he only has one. He can only either have boys or girls.' I don't know how long she believed this or even if we truly convinced her otherwise, but she was absolutely sure that one ball made boys and one made girls and that was just how it all worked."
4."For most of my teenage years, up until when I started watching porn and having sex, I thought men's balls were literally separated in two ballsacks, like when you draw a very simplified version of a penis and it's just two circles for the balls."
5."When I was a teenager, one of my friends had a sister about three years younger. One day, she asked him how big the stick he used was. Friend was confused, and she clarified: 'When you beat off, how big is the stick you hit your penis with?'"
6."That we need to reload between rounds."
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7."A coworker of mine was super disappointed that her partner didn't have an erection all the time. ... Apparently, she went to the bathroom and to get a drink, and he wasn't hard when she came back. She was sad that she had to break up with him because he's lying to her about finding her attractive. I'd be in real trouble if I had an erection every time I found someone attractive. I'd also be 11."
8."At the age of 25, I had a one night stand, and after I came, she asked why it became flaccid again and thought I didn't want anymore sex. I'm not sure what kind of power machine her ex was, but she thought that a man was always erect when he was aroused, even after ejaculation."
9."That different men have different refractory periods (time required to 'recover' between orgasms) — some men require mere moments; others require several hours — but this young lady at a work event was convinced that if you couldn’t get hard again within minutes, you obviously weren’t that into it. Another one I overheard in high school was, 'If he cums a lot, that means he really enjoyed it.' While this could be true, it is not a guarantee by any margin."
10."Sometimes, it simply just won't get up, and it's not you!"
11."The number of women who think that after I got a vasectomy meant I no longer had balls was very surprising."
12."I have a friend who thought that after a vasectomy that there would be no more cum. She was stoked that her husband was getting one to save on cleanup. I had to explain actual sperm makes up a very small amount of the total volume, and the bulk comes from the prostate. She's a nurse, too, so that's concerning."
13."My GF's female friend was amazed to hear that a man doesn't have to masturbate every day. She genuinely thought that a man CANNOT hold semen in for more than four days. She is 33 and had three long-term relationships."
14."My ex-wife had no idea about wet dreams. We had gone about a month without sex, and I hadn’t masturbated in all that time either. So, one morning, I got up and realized I had to change the sheets. [She asked], 'Why would you just cum on the sheets and sleep in it? Why not just go to the bathroom?' I had to explain it wasn’t masturbation; it was just an involuntary thing. If you go too many weeks without ejaculating, it’ll come out when you sleep.
"She was flabbergasted. No previous boyfriend ever had this happen. So I explained that if you’re ejaculating regularly, through sex or masturbation, it doesn’t happen."
15."Every girl who treats my balls like a speed bag or produce they're checking for ripeness at the market while messing around."
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16."An ex thought that when we sit on the toilet, the penis just casually rests on the toilet seat, enjoying the view."
17."Peeing in the toilet with a penis isn't as straightforward as it sounds. Angle, velocity, weird urethra shenanigans, drunk peeing, groggy peeing, peeing with boners; it's all very chaotic and messy."
18."I had to enlighten a female coworker once after she made a comment about guys not being able to pee unless we are hard. She was 35 at the time."
19."For a very long time, I, a woman, assumed that men COULDN'T pee if you were hard. ... It seems most men, but not all, can pee when you're hard, but you prefer not to because it can be unpleasant and/or take a lot of effort and/or be difficult to aim."
20."I once heard a girl asking boys if they roll up their dong when they sit down to take a poo."
21."I've met multiple women in my adulthood that didn't realize men could sit to pee. Like, they literally thought if you had to do both you'd stand there to pee, flush, then sit and poop."
22."I was told to 'just let a little cum out now and then, the rest later.' I didn't know where to begin telling her it's not a negotiation."
23."In high school, I knew a girl who thought cum came out the whole time a guy had sex. Not pre-cum, but like a steady faucet."
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24."My sister couldn't grasp how sometimes my balls stick to my thigh. ... (My sister saw me do a little leg shake. That's why she asked.)"
25."One time, I was watching my boyfriend pee and asked if I could aim for him, and he just goes 'go for it,' so I just aimed his dick while he peed. He started laughing, and I started laughing, so I let go, and he peed all over and was like, 'WHY’D YOU LET GO!' and then we both started laughing more."
26."Tons of women don't know the difference between flaccid and hard, and shower and grower dicks. There are lots of men who have really small flaccid dicks normally, but get 3-4 times the size when aroused."
27."When I was younger, like a kid, I always thought that penises were like magnets to vaginas. I had only ever seen 'sexy' moments on TV and movies, and it always seemed like they got a hard on when a woman was sitting in their lap, so I thought it was, like, magnetized to it. I still cringe to this day."
28."Had something hilarious happen with an ex-gf. We were out for a birthday party, and both of us got absolutely hammered. Come about 4 a.m., I get up to go to the toilet, and my drunk self decides that the nearby bin in my room is the toilet. Girlfriend sees that I'm peeing everywhere, so she gets up and helps me aim into the bin. Now, here comes the strange part: While she's aiming, she starts jerking my dick like it's a handjob.
"I hazily begin to remember this the next morning, and we start talking about it with a laugh. Then, I asked her why did she start jerking it. She said I thought you had to do a jerking motion to make the pee come out. Cue about an hour of me laugh-crying about it."
29."Death-grip hand jobs. Please don't squeeze the life out of it; it doesn't feel good. Pick up a can of soda. That's about as hard as you need to grip it."
30."My dick is attached to my pelvis and is sensitive. Spit on or lube it up, and stroke it like it's an organ and not a goddamn lawnmower that won't start."
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31."I attended a Bible college, which meant three things: 1) A lot of my friends got married very young. 2) A lot of my friends had very little sex ed. 3) A lot of my friends had sex for the very first time on their wedding night.
"One of my friends married the daughter of some missionaries. The way he put it, the honeymoon was a pretty traumatic experience for his wife because she had often worked in the church nursery and had changed plenty of diapers, but it had honestly never occurred to this 20-year-old woman that the male sex organ would grow between toddlerhood and adulthood. She just assumed they stayed at their pre-puberty size and had to process a lot of new information before they were actually able to consummate their marriage."
32."Men do not need to be aroused to get a boner. Morning wood and random salutes can happen regularly, and can be embarrassing for some guys. The worst can be the half-arsed, 'just letting you know, I’m ready when you are chief' semi-boner that isn’t enough to tuck into the waistband so you end up trying to reposition via the pocket, but then realize you look like you’re either looking for lost gold in the depths of your khakis, or playing with yourself. Leaving you to walk away in excruciating embarrassment, silently cursing dinkle and his half salute."
33."My girl wanted to watch me pee just to entertain herself. Apparently, it was her first time to see a man take a piss. When I was done, I shook it. Her eyes went wide, and her jaw dropped. She asked, 'Why are you doing that?? Isn't that painful?' I laughed and did it again. She screamed, 'STOOOPPP!!!'"
34."First girlfriend I ever had blew my dick like a birthday candle."
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35.And finally, it's not just women who misunderstand men's bodies..."I used to work at this store, and this guy came in asking for tampons for men. He came in, and he was walking…not normally. Like, he had just gotten kicked in the nuts or just had a vasectomy. If you know the walk, you know the walk.
"He was a regular. Nice guy. Knew him for years. He was really embarrassed by it. His girlfriend was waiting in the car. I asked him to clarify. He said tampons for men. See. His junk had started bleeding, and he freaked out. Told his girlfriend. She told him it happened to everyone. She got hers when she was a teen, and she was surprised it took him this long to get it. ... He told me his girlfriend told him it was normal. That he should get a tampon and 'shove it up there.'
"I told him it wasn’t...normal, and if your dick is bleeding, then you need to get to the hospital. He got confused and penguined back to his car. I saved that man from a fate worse than death."
Now it's your turn — what's the most misinformed thing you believed about sex or anatomy that you later found out was wrong? Let us know in the comments below or via this anonymous form!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.
