35 Best Pumpkin Jokes to Make Everyone Grin Like Jack-o'-Lanterns
The first day of fall is almost here! If you haven't made your way down to the local pumpkin patch, then it's about time you do. These colorful gourds show up in September and stay on prominent display through Halloween and Thanksgiving. They provide beautiful fall décor and are the key ingredient to so many of our favorite pumpkin recipes. Not to mention, there are so many incredible pumpkin carving ideas! Pumpkins are the true symbol of autumn and, as the season gets closer, that means it's seasonally appropriate to share our favorite pumpkin jokes!
Whether you're throwing a Halloween party or Friendsgiving dinner, give guests pumpkin' to talk about! Hit them with these hilarious puns and one-liners! Let them know your house is "gourd vibes only" and craft these into your fall porch décor or write them in cards. Impress your uncle with a dad joke and ask him how a pumpkin listens to Halloween music (on "vine-yl"). Or, make the kiddos giggle and ask about Cinderella's football skills (she had a pumpkin for a coach). Whatever the occasion for the joke, we've found them all—the gourd, the bad, and the ugly! 😂
Funny Pumpkin Jokes
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
Where do pumpkins hold meetings? In the gourdroom.
What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach? A life gourd.
What's a pumpkin's favorite genre? Pulp fiction.
What does a pumpkin use to repair its pants? A pumpkin patch!
Why was the jack-o'-lantern afraid to cross the road? It had no guts!
What did one pumpkin say to the pumpkin who asked where the patch was? Ah, a talking pumpkin!
How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music? On vine-yl.
What's a pumpkin's favorite Western? The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly.
Why was Cinderella bad at football? She had a pumpkin for a coach.
What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
What is a pumpkin's favorite sport? Squash.
Who helped the baby pumpkin cross the road? The crossing gourd.
What do pumpkins say at happy hour? Let's get smashed.
What did the jack-o'-lantern say to its barber? Surprise me!
What did the pumpkin say to its carver? Cut it out!
What do you call an athletic pumpkin? A jock-o-lantern.
How do you repair a broken jack o' lantern? Use a pumpkin patch.
Why was Cinderella sticky at the ball? Because she went there in a pumpkin!
Why was the jack-o'-lantern so forgetful? Because he's empty-headed.
Pumpkin Knock-Knock Jokes
Knock, knock! Who's there? Pumpkin. Pumpkin who? Things that go pumpkin the night!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad it's almost Halloween?
Knock, knock! Who's there? Jack. Jack who? Jack o' lantern!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Pie. Pie who? Pie really love you.
Knock, knock! Who's there? Pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spice who? Time to pumpkin spice up the night!
Pumpkin Puns
Slipped on a pumpkin today. It caught me off gourd.
I used a pumpkin to summon ghosts. It was an Ouija gourd.
Let's give 'em pumpkin to talk about.
Squash goals.
Oh my gourd, I'm stuffed.
Pumpkin some iron at the gym!
I'm a pun-king.
We're just a couple of country pumpkins.
Hey, gourd-looking!
Don't gourd breaking my heart.
