33 Jokes From Twitter This Month That Sent Me Into A Laughing Fit
This summer is flying by, and we're already about to enter August! Before this month is over, enjoy some of the funniest tweets from this July:
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!
1.
WE WERE LITERALLY BORN ONTO A PLANET THAT GROWS FOOD HOW DID WE FUCK UP SO BAD THAT I GOT A CREDIT SCORE
2.
tequila so dangerous g . i was at the bar last night like
3.
This still has me weak 😭😭😭
4.
Despite having my shots, I never go inside a building without a mask even if it isn’t required for the fully vaccinated because I live by the old adage “Somebody in this bitch lyin’.”
5.
Asking me “whatever happened with that guy” is a HIPAA violation.
6.
woman: aw he’s so cute me: thanks he’s a rescue my boyfriend: stop telling people that
7.
“Summer 2021, we out here!”
8.
kristen stewart and robert pattinson talking about twilight:
9.
nah, this shit got me crying🤣
10.
Legalize all drugs in the Olympics. Let’s see how fast mfs can REALLY go.
11.
Ok I’ll bite… what’s NYU
12.
deff getting worried about all these covid variants, if college taught me anything once u start seeing greek letters everywhere u need to run
13.
Never give up on your dreams❤️
14.
"how do you ship two characters that havent even interacted?" have you and your crush interacted
15.
if yοu reheat Mcdonald’s you too deep in the trenches
16.
i'm in chrissy teigen house unplugging the router
17.
I be in the gym with no music. Just the memories of the times people betrayed me.
18.
The guy I get my w*ed from told me he was excited for me to try some new stuff today and I took one hit and I am fighting for my fucking life on this couch
19.
“Banger tweet” from my bf
20.
i got botox and i asked the dr “how many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like “zero. you’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten botox.”
21.
*jigsaw voice* hey bestie
22.
Told my landlord we had ants and he said “We cannot kill them. We can not outsmart them. They have been here longer than us. They will find a way.”
23.
I was not born to work a 9-5 job I was made to be the hottest person my age at the airport
24.
wtf r daddy issues ? just traumatize your father back
25.
Nobody:My intrusive thoughts:
26.
“hey i’m in ur city” ok well leave
27.
what if i said “if you think cheetah print is sexy, you’re fetishizing bestiality” and logged off for three days
28.
[me getting in the back of an ambulance] hi, for isabel?
29.
Doesn’t make any fucking sense that Cinderella had a different shoe size from every other bitch in that town.
30.
me at a threesome: are you guys mad at me
31.
32.
When a guy is wearing glasses it’s like. Aww is he gonna read a book :)
33.
Normalise being out of the loop …. like what is even going on
