30 People Told Us Why They Fell Out Of Love With Their Partners, And I Wouldn't Wish This Feeling On My Worst Enemy
We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about the moment they realized they were falling out of love with their significant other, and the responses just might break your heart!
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Grab the tissues, because things are about to get real emotional:
🚨 This post contains mentions of sexual assault and abuse. 🚨
1."We were basically just going through the motions..."
"I was with my boyfriend for nearly two years and we were basically just going through the motions towards the end. The nail in the coffin was him telling me that if we stopped having sex he’d dump me. He also spent his money for my Christmas gift on an AR-15. Then one night we got in a fight and the next morning he came over and ended it. I’d never been more relieved in my life. I ended up taking the following summer off from school to do service projects and backpack abroad. Now, I know who I am and what I want in life. I’ve never been happier! I’m also dating an amazing man that doesn’t prioritize sex and doesn’t own any assault rifles!" —maggieline912
2."Saying, 'I love you' feels like an obligation..."
"I'm at that point now where saying, 'I love you' feels like an obligation rather than a sincere statement from the heart. I do love him, but I'm not in love with him, and I haven't been for the last three years. I married him because of our daughter. I'm standing on the edge of a precipice and I have to jump soon. I'm just so scared."
3."I got a really uneasy feeling about him meeting my 13-year-old niece..."
"He started talking about how he was looking forward to coming to Thanksgiving with my family, which we’d talked about before. I got a really uneasy feeling about him meeting my 13-year-old niece. I’m still relieved he never met her."
4."He cheated on me — with his brother's wife..."
"He cheated on me while I was out of the country with our son with — WAIT FOR IT — his brother’s wife! She even came to our home for dinner many times. When I finally found out, we had violent fights that were unfortunately witnessed by our son. Two years down, my son has major anxiety issues and so do I.
If you or anyone you know has been cheated on, please have tremendous compassion for yourself/them. I wish someone would ask me how I'm doing because I am not doing well." —pompom2912
5."I went out to lunch with my daughter and when I came back my boyfriend was gone..."
"Cared for my mother for the last few years of her life, which means I lived with her part-time and with my boyfriend part-time. One week before my birthday my mom passed away, so I ended up moving in with my boyfriend completely. On my actual birthday I went out to lunch with my daughter and when I came back my boyfriend was gone. I was locked out of the house and he didn't come back all weekend. I was stranded with nowhere to go or any of my stuff for two days. When he finally answered my phone calls it was just to tell me that we were over. He had been seeing someone else for three weeks by then. I became homeless that day and ended up living in my car." —juanitadehart
6."I had a miscarriage and he told me that I was faking it..."
"I started to realize it when I had a miscarriage and he told me that I was faking it. Then to make matters worse, he kicked me out of his house when I wouldn't sleep with him because, and I quote, 'Sleeping next to you hurts because you're blue balling me and what good is a girlfriend if my balls are blue.'"
7."He hooked up with another chick..."
"My ex flat out told me he wasn't spending my birthday with me because we had been fighting a lot lately. I later found out that he hooked up with another chick that day and he eventually left me for her." —mydnyghtamethyst
8."Just because your brother is dying, doesn’t give you the right to be a bitch..."
"When he said, “Just because your brother is dying, doesn’t give you the right to be a bitch.'” —acelkins720
9."He never even picked up the phone to check on me..."
"I just had a pretty scary accident and he never even picked up the phone to check on me, until hours after the fact. Between that and me going through every single cancer treatment alone, I finally had to leave." —landerstyle66
10."I’d find myself looking at and flirting with other girls..."
"When I was out with my friends I would always complain about her and how annoying she was. I didn’t really notice that I'd fallen out of love at that point. Then when my friends took me places, I’d find myself looking at and flirting with other girls. It took her finding that out for me to understand I’d fallen out of love."
11."He didn't bother to keep in touch for a whole month..."
"He didn't bother to keep in touch for a whole month after I started a new job at a store we'd both applied for. I thought he was jealous, so I figured I'd just wait for him to get over it, but then I found out he'd been screwing one of my coworkers since I'd got the job. She was someone I had previously considered more than just a work friend. I knew I was no longer in love with him when I felt sadder about the loss of her friendship than the loss of the relationship."
12."He had other things he wanted to do, rather than accompany me to the ER..."
"We had been together about 10 years. My son had brain surgery to remove a brain tumor. When my son was allowed to come I noticed he was having a spinal fluid leak out of his nose. I ran to our bedroom to tell my BF and urge him to get dressed because we had to rush my son back to the hospital. He looked at me and said he had other things he wanted to do, rather than accompany me to the ER. After getting my son to the hospital, I sent my BF a very long text basically telling him to pack up his shit and get out of my house!" —aliciadarlenehamilton
13."My ex would often lie to me..."
"My ex would often lie to me, but not about other women or serious stuff. Instead, he'd lie about what he ate for lunch — he had a burger and later I would see that he really had pasta. That's when I realized that he was a compulsive liar. Eventually, I found out he was cheating on me, lost his job, and other things, all while we were in a relationship." —kathimuelli94
14."He booked a trip to Thailand with a different woman..."
"My ex of nine years had been cheating on me for years. I tried to fix the relationship, but instead of trying to fix our relationship, he booked a trip to Thailand with a different woman. When he told me that, it finally occurred to me that he had no intentions of fixing our relationship, and I decided I was done trying with such a selfish man. It was the best decision I ever made." —toelca
15."I was wasting her time..."
"I asked my GF of two years if she could make an effort to be a little more romantic and her response to me was, 'I can't give you that right now.' That's when I realized I was wasting her time. So I walked away." —punkygomez
16."My friend died of suicide and my ex told me he did it for attention..."
"After my friend died of suicide, my ex told me he did it for attention. Then I realized how shitty of a person he was." —reaganskinner18
17."After my sister’s burial service, he left me to go home and play video games..."
"After my sister’s burial service, he left me to go home and play video games. I was all by myself talking to all these people when I needed him the most, because it was the worst day of my life." —hannahrosep46c525402
18."Everything she did started to annoy me..."
"I noticed I was falling out of love when everything she did started to annoy me. It felt like I couldn't stand her. I missed the honeymoon phase. I moved away that year and we didn't talk for months. Eventually we just didn't care anymore and broke up." —fruityduchess
19."My ex-husband kept threatening to walk out the door..."
"When my ex-husband kept threatening to walk out the door and not one piece of me wanted him to stay." —waterbad82
20."He kept kissing me seductively — it disgusted me..."
"When one of my dogs died out of the blue, it sent me into a huge depression that I’m still recovering from almost 2 years later. The first time I left the house I threw up and had to come right back home. Then I went to see my boyfriend and he kept kissing me seductively. Honestly, it disgusted me. It took so much for me to even talk to him. At that moment I thought, either this guy is completely unaware of my feelings and who I am or he’s just a selfish dick who has no empathy." —doggolove
21."I found his Ashley Madison account..."
"When I found his Ashley Madison account." —k4e39fd4aa
22."He accused me of having alcohol problems in public..."
"It was when he accused me of having alcohol problems in public. I felt sad because he was projecting onto me. He is an an alcoholic who has been through rehab for his problems. I realized the man I had once loved was buried in his own mire of self pitying filth, so I let him go." —willowg
23."I caught him having inappropriate conversations online with both men and women..."
"My ex-husband was emotionally abusive and I had caught him several times having inappropriate conversations online with both men and women, in which he referred to me as his roommate. Come to find out he had been doing it our entire 3-year relationship. That morning I woke up and was just done." —megandbethea
24."My maturity grew, but he stayed the same..."
"We just ended up growing in different directions, I realized I didn't want the same things anymore. My values and interests changed, my maturity grew...but he stayed the same." —kimdear
25."I would fall asleep next to him and just feel incredibly alone..."
"I would fall asleep next to him and just feel incredibly alone. Sharing a bed should be intimate and comforting, but it just made me feel depressed and isolated." —elizabetho4582daf96
26."We had a pregnancy scare and I realized I truly did not want to be connected for life to my boyfriend..."
"We had a pregnancy scare and I realized I truly did not want to be connected for life to my boyfriend. It took a while to end after that, but that was my first real inkling that I didn't love him." —moxiemae
27."He basically told me he wouldn't be with me unless I used my engineering degree..."
"Where do I start? He called my niece fat (she's 5) and he basically told me he wouldn't be with me unless I used my engineering degree. Ultimately, he just loved the idea of what I COULD be, not actually who I WANT to be."
28."I tried to tell her how I felt about being bullied at school, she told me I was overreacting..."
"She kept telling me about her problems and I had to listen all the time and be compassionate. When I tried to tell her how I felt about being bullied at school, she told me I was overreacting, and that bullying was 'no big deal.' I should have broken up with her sooner." —silencesilence
29."My ex of six years was talking about future plans and I remember feeling my stomach drop..."
"My ex of six years was talking about future plans and I remember feeling my stomach drop. With that simple statement, I remember the feeling of depression hit me so quickly. I will never forget the feeling of sadness that took over me."
30."I just got exhausted with the excuses..."
"It was a year into our relationship when he told me he gambled away his one month paycheck. I didn’t think anything of it at first, but it happened again five more times. I just got exhausted with the excuses and I realized that he was a gambling addict. The worse part, he didn’t want professional help."
