29 Times When Men Lacked Basic Life Skills And Tried To Make It Their Female Coworkers' Problem
Recently, u/newmama1991 posted in r/AskWomen, asking women to share the "female duties" they've been told to do at work. And the comments are a mix of rage-inducing sexism and absolutely delightful revenge. Here's what people had to say:
1."I was asked at an all-men workplace if I could possibly take some time off during my lunch break to clean the kitchen, because 'we really don't know how to do it well.' I remember I was so shocked I only responded with a gaping mouth and, '...no??,' but I have a feeling I radiated rage because they just gave me a timid nod, left, and did not ever ask again."
2."I was asked to clean the men's toilets, as they were a mess. I said loudly that the men could clean their own toilets — there's nothing about that job that requires a vagina. Total silence for a minute as everyone stared in disbelief at me, and the next week the boss hired a cleaner."
3."My boss started buying all sorts of kitchen tools (pots and pans, rice cooker, portable burner, etc.). I thought it was for the annual Christmas raffle he hosts for his employees. Until one day at lunch, he turned to me and said, 'Once the burner arrives, be sure to make a list of groceries you will need to start making lunch for the office. I assume you know how to cook since you are a woman.' We work in a small office, and I'm in HR..."
"In the most serious but enthusiastic way, I let him know I would get to work on contacting the city for a health permit, contact our insurance company to adjust our liability coverage, obtain food handlers license, etc. He immediately said to hold off on starting that project."
4."I wasn't exactly asked, but someone mentioned that 'we could have some coffee' and stared at me like an unspoken request. I stared right back."
AMC / Via giphy.com
"I’ve had this one. Little did they know I make terrible coffee because I hate the stuff. So I made coffee for a few weeks until they asked me to stop hahahahaha."
5."The owner of the company told me to unload the dishwasher, specifically because I'm a woman. A guy coworker was with me and instantly started doing it. I love him."
6."Once in a male-dominated office environment, I was asked by an older senior level manager to send a fax. I was in a higher-level position myself, but I said 'sure' and did it for him. The next time I needed a fax sent, I went over to him and asked if he would send it for me. He eyed me, then got up and sent it. We were great pals after that!"
7."A man in my office asked me to print and bind a document for him. I said I didn’t know how. He said it’s easy and he could talk me through it, and I said, 'Well then, it sounds like you don’t need me.' I was 24 at the time; I’d never even seen a document binder before then, let alone used one. I didn’t work for him, and it wasn’t part of my role. He had a meeting, and he wanted bound copies for his team and made a beeline for the only vagina in the office."
8."I do accounting and payroll, and they asked me to take over the task of cleaning the offices; vacuuming, bathrooms, and trash cans. I did agree to it — for an extra $500 a month, lmao. Honestly, it takes like 30–45 minutes a week to do, and the bathrooms are much less scary than they used to be, so it's a win-win for me."
9."Once I was eating sliced radishes at my desk. My male coworker saw that, said he loved radishes, and asked if I could get some for him and throw on some salt. When I suggested he slice his own, he literally said it was too much work. Same coworker suggested to a room full of male students that I should provide them all with snacks. When I laughed thinking it was a joke, he looked at me dead serious and told me it was MY JOB because I’m a woman and then accused me of wanting them to go hungry. F that noise."
10."I had a manager who couldn’t adhere to a deadline to save his life. He said that it was my job to remind him of his deadlines (because I’m female and therefore naturally organized), and would actually try to penalize me in my performance review for any deadlines he missed."
11."I used to have a male boss who in meetings would always look at me and say, 'You’re taking notes, right?' I wasn’t in an admin role, and he also never said the same to my male coworkers. I would then stop bringing any pens or paper with me other than meeting materials so I could say, 'No, but maybe [Joe] can,' and watch him wrestle with that for a minute in awkward silence."
12."I worked in IT for a number of years. My male boss asked me to check in with him in his office every morning, but didn’t ask my male co-workers to check in. He also didn’t have a problem when a co-worker asked me out, and I declined with, 'Sorry, I have a serious boyfriend.' That guy started being really rude and nasty to me. When I complained to my boss, he said, 'Can you blame him?'"
"In a meeting with all male coworkers, one guy handed me papers and asked me to deliver them to someone else in the building. I refused and said he could deliver them himself. My boss said I was extremely rude.
The worst, one other woman joined the team, and at our staff meeting, which was right after lunch, the guys would talk about the 'restaurant' they had lunch at, where the waitresses were topless. It was disgusting to hear them talk. So disrespectful. It was the worst experience in my entire career."
13."Multiple times coworkers had to bring their children into work for different reasons, and multiple times they assumed it was okay to leave them in my care while they went to meetings. Never once was I asked."
NBC / Via giphy.com
14."I work in an office off of a warehouse. All the warehouse workers are guys. They have their own break room, and they let a coffee maker go to shit because they never cleaned it. Recently, one guy ask me to make him a cup of coffee. He was a new guy, so the coffee maker issue wasn’t his fault. He was also sick. And asked very nicely. And his mom and my mom also happen to be very good friends. So I decided to be nice and make him a cup. For the following week, EVERY GUY in the warehouse asked me to make them coffee every morning. Give an inch, they take a mile."
15."I own a business and have two male employees and three female employees. I found out that one of the male employees was leaving his dishes in the sink, and the three female employees were doing them when they did their own. All of them are very young. I flat out told the girls to stop doing the dishes for anyone but themselves and during a staff meeting reminded everyone to wash and dry their own dishes and put them away. The next week my guy leaves dishes in the sink."
"He’s about to clock out, and I pull him aside and ask if those dishes in the sink are his. He says they are. I look him dead in the eye and ask who he expects is going to wash them if he clocks out and leaves them. He stared at me in silence for a full minute before the realization hits him that he doesn’t actually know. He went and did his dishes, and I haven’t had a problem with it since."
16."I used to work in a team with only males, and I was the only one ever put in charge of my colleagues' birthdays (ordering a cake, inviting everyone to the cafeteria, etc.). For one of my birthdays I heard my ex-boss had to ask a 'favor' from a female from ANOTHER department (at least he remembered, I guess)."
17."For a potluck team lunch, women were expected to cook something, and men were excused to simply buy drinks, desserts, etc. I said no fucking way am I cooking for men when they are excused. And I said this loudly in front of the whole team. Immediately, men in the team volunteered to make simple easy salads, getting some snacks, etc. Why this was not a norm before I joined team, no idea. But the manager took notice of this and started getting other men involved in arrangements and clean-up, etc. Work was not left for all women."
"Fast-forward I have my own company now. And still I have had to fight off misogyny so many times. The suppliers and distributors all talk to my husband as he is the man, and many times don't even look at me when I am in the same meeting. I don't react really. I let the meeting happen, and after an hour I simply get up and say, 'Thanks for coming, but we wont be going ahead working with you.' They look at my husband, and he just shrugs and says, 'Well, she is the boss.' The look on their face is worth wasting an hour. And if they try to arm wrestle me, then they get an earful of how awful they were at the meeting."
18."Ex-military. I had a supervisor that I’m pretty sure hated women. He stopped one of the guys (same rank as me) from cleaning the office and told him he wanted me to do it. He would bring me a notepad and tell me to 'jot down his thoughts throughout the day.' He would offer to write packages for any of the guys in the office, but never me (even though I was one of the highest performers). If I disagreed with anything, I was told to just do it because he ranked higher. If any men disagreed, he would hear them out. I hated that guy and his stupid pube face of a beard."
19."I was a team lead, and one of my laywer team members asked a woman if she was the makeup lady on picture day. This woman was the CTO of the company (1,000+ employees)."
20."I would have meetings with all male coworkers and clients. I was neither the most junior or the newest hire. I was consistently asked to prepare the meeting room with snacks and coffee, never anyone else, including male interns."
21."On my second week on a new job, my boss asked me to prep his food for the Christmas potluck. When I gave him a questioning look, he added, 'Because women are just so much better at that stuff.'"
22."They always look at me to cut up and serve the birthday cakes. Makes my blood boil."
ABC / Via giphy.com
23."I was asked to attend job interviews with my boss, to not speak, sit and do nothing for the sole purpose of looking pretty, and lure newcomers."
24."I am ALWAYS asked to send the meeting recap email. As if I were a part of the meeting to simply take notes like a secretary. I’m most of these men’s boss."
25."I was my boss's unpaid therapist, and that guy would give Colin Robinson a run for his money."
26."I was hired as an office manager at a small firm. They placed me in the front while they 'cleaned my office out' that was being used as storage. I kept pressing to try and do office management tasks, payroll, AR/AP, office organization, etc. I have a business degree with a lot of certifications. After a few months (I was young), I asked about the tasks I should be doing and my office. I was told that I was to be a receptionist because they 'needed a pretty face to greet clients.' Then they hired a person who was quite possibly the dumbest person I've ever met, cleaned out the storage office for him, and gave him the job I was hired for. I quit."
27."So. Much. Schedule. Managing. Only for male attorneys. No other female attorney has asked me any one of the following questions more than once, while every male attorney I've worked with asks me on the regular: When are we supposed to be in this hearing? Do we have hearing scheduled for [insert client] today? When was the last time we saw client? When is that expert report due? Do have a meeting with the expert? When is that? What are we talking about? Did we get that report in on time? Did we file that motion? Bro, this is all documented in our case management system, and WE did not do SHIT, I did."
"I am the lead attorney on three other cases that are as serious or more serious than this case and manage to be where I need to be when I need to be there AND direct my second or third chairs where they need to be. WTF?!"
28."I was asked to organize a bunch of baby showers for people. I don't have any kids. I don't think I'm particularly good at putting together events like that. I was the only girl under the manager that asked me until about a year ago. I've moved from that team since, and the new girl gets asked to do them now."
NBC / Via giphy.com
29.And finally, "One of the managers (not MY manager) passed three or four men to interrupt my work and try to hand me some cash to go get a card for someone's upcoming event party. I frowned like he was a particularly dim bulb and told him to go talk to the GUY who was organizing that party since he knew what was actually going on. Not-my-manager scuttled away."
Can you relate? Tell us about the most sexist and ridiculous thing you've been asked to do at work in the comments.
Note: Responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
