29 People Confessed The Hilariously Weird Things They Secretly Did As Kids
Look, we were all kids at one point, so I think we can agree that kids can do some very, VERY weird things. I, for example, used to like to rip out pieces of the newspaper and chew it like gum. Blech! Just thinking about ingesting all of that ink turns my stomach! It's not just me, though — an adult friend of mine once confessed that as a kid they pooped onto a plate and microwaved it to see what would happen.
Well, maybe to make me feel a little less alone, LOL, I recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the things they did as kids that they now realize are really, REALLY weird. Here are their best "weird kid" stories:
Some entries were also taken from this Reddit post.
1."I grew up in a house where our parents didn't really censor what we watched, so as a kid I was obsessed with horror films. More specifically, the Child's Play series. I was obsessed with the Chucky doll, and asked for it every Christmas, and of course, never got one. BUT my obsession even went so far as me wearing a long-sleeved striped shirt and a pair of overalls almost daily...like, I'd make my mom wash it all the time so I could wear it every day. So, yeah, I liked to dress like Chucky as a 7-year-old. 'Til this day, my dad's nickname for me is Chuck."
—anonymous
2."There were spiders and mice in my room which totally freaked me out, so every night before I went to sleep, I'd whisper a report of what the weather was outside to encourage them to go outside rather than stay inside and bite me in my sleep."
3."When I was around 8 years old, I liked the way clean towels tasted. Something I really enjoyed was putting a towel over a straw, and drinking Kool-Aid through it. My mother wasn't a fan of having white towels covered with red spots, so she put a stop to it pretty quick."
4."I liked to pee on the heater to see the steam rise. In hindsight I’m like...why did I do that?"
—anonymous
5."I ate snot. I never stopped picking my nose, and the mouth was the closest place to dispose of my gold. Perfect for when around people since it does not leave a trace. I liked the taste and texture of the boogers and still do it from time to time today, at 26."
—anonymous
6."I used to stand naked in my bedroom window and try to stay as still as possible so the neighbors would think my parents had a statue made of me. I would stand in different poses, too, so they'd think there were multiple statues which my parents would rotate around the house. The way I saw it, only important people had statues built of them. I wanted the neighbors to know they lived near a pretty important guy."
7."I thought my parents would let me have a dog if I acted like one. So I saved up my money, bought dog supplies, and would spend hours crawling around on the floor, barking, wearing collars, drinking out of dog bowls, and generally pretending to be a puppy. We never ended up with any pets besides fish."
—anonymous
8."At dinner, I would rub extra butter from my bread onto my legs like moisturizer. The dogs loved it."
—anonymous
9."I found a cat skull buried in the garden, pulled the teeth out, and put them under my pillow for what I thought would be easy money."
10."I used to collect bugs, like caterpillars and ants and the like, then put them in my plastic beach pail and pee in it. Yeah…"
11."I used to have 'science experiments' in the bathroom sink. Meaning, I’d lock myself in the bathroom, make sure the sink drain was shut, then add every cleaner/chemical/shampoo etc. under the sink into the sink basin in hopes of a reaction. Never got one, but it also never stopped me from trying. In hindsight I probably could have killed myself if I had mixed the wrong stuff. I obviously didn’t."
12."On roadtrips I would close my eyes and slump in my seat to see if people passing would think I was dead and honk at us not realizing that I just looked like I was sleeping. I was a fucking weirdo."
"I would do something similar in the car, except I would act like I was the one playing the instruments to whatever song was on the radio, thinking that other people would pass by in their cars and see me and think what a total badass, playing like that!”
13."I would walk out of the bathroom after taking a shit and spread my ass cheeks to whoever was in the living room and ask, 'Is my butt clean?' One time it was the guy cleaning our carpet."
14."In first grade we would sit in a group on the floor in front of the teacher while she read us stories. I would sit at the back of the group against the wall and pull my pants halfway down my bum. I liked feeling the cool ground/wall against my bare butt."
15."I used to think that every car coming in the opposite direction would be very sad if I didn't say hello to them."
16."I used to eat mechanical pencil lead. No idea how I got into that habit, but I think I enjoyed the crunchiness of it. I did it for a little while, but when I showed a classmate, she immediately went to the teacher who then called my mom who scolded me and told me to stop. Goodbye 0.7 mm, you will be missed."
17."When I was in elementary school, I would use one hand to cover my butt when I showered because I was afraid that a monster would warp through the bathroom wall and attack my butthole."
18."I would put my hand down next to ant hills and let a few crawl onto my hand. I'd then watch them crawl up my arm and bite because I wanted to see the entire process of how long it would take for them to pick their moment."
19."I would lick my hands as a kid…because I liked how they tasted. 🤢🤢🤢 I realize now how disgusting that is. Not to mention all those germs from my grimy kid hands. Makes me shudder just thinking about it."
20."I used to melt the chocolate on chocolate digestive biscuits using a desk lamp, lick the chocolate off, and then cover the biscuit in cheese triangles. God knows where I got this from, gross."
21."I used to perch in the metal jungle gym in the school playground and quietly suck on the bars because I liked the taste."
"In retrospect, it might’ve been my body’s desperate attempt to get more iron because we didn’t eat a lot of meat (and yes, I know there are non-meat sources of iron, but I guess we didn’t eat enough of those either)."
22."Whenever I’d eat graham crackers for a snack, I’d have a glass of water with them. Not to drink, but to dip the crackers in. I don’t know why, but a soggy graham cracker seemed like a delicacy to me back then."
—anonymous
23."I have red hair and am very fair skinned. I used to collect the few black hairs I would find in my eyebrows. My cringe was asking a teacher for a piece of tape so I could take one that fell out home."
—anonymous
24."When I was little, I had one of those woolly blankets on my bed. Apparently, I enjoyed pulling off some pilled wool and stuffing it up my nose. Then I’d sloowwwly pull it out. I guess it felt…good? I also stuffed used Kleenex into a hole in my teddy bear when I had a cold."
25."As a teenager, if I was making myself a snack, I'd narrate it as if I was on a cooking show. My mum caught me once, and I was so embarrassed."
—anonymous
26."I used to play-act my own death…like a lot. I’d go into our spare bedroom, lock the door, and make up these elaborate scenes and then 'die.' Or when I was coming home from my neighbor's house after dark, I would pretend like I got hunted down by zombies or murdered. Then I'd just happily skip the rest of the way home after I was done 'playing.'"
"I am from a very happy family and never experienced much death growing up, but it was still one of my favorite games to play alone."
27."When I was 6 or so, I would put a paper bag over my head and walk around the house, trying to figure out where I was."
"Mind you, we lived in a tiny 'rancher' with no steps, so my boundaries were…small. I didn’t do it to imagine what it was like being blind; I was actually trying to 'get lost' in our house."
28."I ate saltine crackers soaked with coffee and sugar on top."
—anonymous
29.And lastly: "Me and my mates used to shit on the road and then wait until a car ran over it and celebrate."
Was there something really weird you did as a kid? Let us know in the comments below or via this anonymous form.
