27 Hilariously Ruthless Wedding Tweets That Deserve A Place In The Weddings Hall Of Fame
It's wedding season again, and our good ole' friends on Twitter are keeping it all the way hilariously brutal about this special day in a couple's lives:
Warner Bros.
1.
Wedding invites are always like: we reserved a block of hotel rooms at a discounted rate of $3,000 a night so book soon! No kids so please leave them at home or in the car. Also the closest airport is 4 hours away. Can’t wait to celebrate our love with you!
2.
I believe in salary transparency in the workplace and also at the top of your wedding registry.
3.
My sister-in-law’s wedding has a “signature cocktail,” and, uh
4.
NONE of my friends allowed to give speeches at my wedding.😂 soon as i hear a “i remember this one time..” AHT AHT gimme the mic😂🤣
5.
Going to a wedding with a dressy casual dress code so I guess I’m wearing silk pajamas
6.
At my wedding, There will be abreak for y'all to go home and eatthen come back
7.
On my wedding dayMy Mom: who are all these peopleMe: we grew up on Twitter together
8.
Someday, God willing, I will attend my children’s weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets.
9.
Wedding parties should have a worst man too. Like here's my best man, Scott, my brother Mike, my friends Richie and Dave Cactus, and then Derek who I assume is going to get wasted and fight the cake.
10.
[weddings by age]20s: *makes fun of older people dancing*30s: I’m sick of weddings40s: Just send them a check50s: (first person out on the dance floor)
11.
My wedding day is getting closer and I still don’t have a fiancé 😭 sick
12.
For the love of god take your Apple Watch off on your wedding day
13.
the pasta portion size at kourtney kardashian’s wedding is the one of the saddest things i’ve ever seen
14.
Dudes take one picture in a suit then start posting quotes about success, just go to the wedding bro
15.
I’m only 30 which means I’ve danced to Mr Brightside at weddings more times than I’ve ever had a pay rise
16.
Message to my best friend from childhood: Hey brother. I just did the math and I really don’t think I’ll be able to afford to fly out for your wedding. I feel awful. I hope you can forgive me. Message to Etsy vendor selling Master Chief Keef t shirt for $300: Whats up legend
17.
Today marks exactly 4yrs and 4 months since awoman removed me from a line in a certain wedding on allegations that I had already eaten.
18.
it's cool that if planning a wedding doesn't kill u then u get to be married
19.
when i get married im gonna send invitations to my enemies that have minus ones on them so they'll know about the wedding but won't be allowed to go
20.
[inventing wedding dresses]a massive skirt!more skirt!MOREnow, put a skirt over her face! god ya that’s the stuff
21.
[Wedding meal]*taps wine glass until everyone stops talking and I stand up to speak* I need more wine
22.
[WEDDING]ME: I do.PRIEST: Could you say it again without the air quotes?
23.
Sometimes I’ll sign a wedding guestbook with something inspirational:“1 out of 5 stars: would not recommend”
24.
Great idea, let's write our own wedding vows. I can't think of a better way to kick off my eternity with you than a homework assignment.
25.
[phone w/ fiancé]Hey, I can still pick whatever suit I like for the wedding right?"As long as its black, why?"*wearing batsuit* No reason
26.
I didn't know when your wedding was because you spelled out the date and time like a goddamn medieval sorcerer.
27.
The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
