27 Brutally Hysterical Parents Who Nailed The Hell Out Of Halloween With Kids In One Single Tweet
There's no question about it — Halloween as a parent can be hilarious as hell.
Fox
So it's a good thing we have the seriously funny parents on Twitter to sum it up in all its glory:
1.
[carving pumpkins]Me: Need help buddy?5: No, I do it myself5’s pumpkin:
2.
It’s important to teach your children moderation by only eating a couple pieces of Halloween candy when they’re around and eating the rest after they go to bed
3.
You might think my house is haunted but it's just my kids always leaving the kitchen drawers & cabinets open.
4.
Heard a rival dad is planning to hand out king size candy bars for Halloween so now every trick or treater that comes to my house is getting a full rack of ribs.
5.
Pumpkin Patches are great places to take your family so you can profusely sweat in coordinating outfits while the kids fight over a 47.00 pumpkin
6.
10-year-old: You bought candy?!Me: It's not for us. It's for trick-or-treaters.10: I'm a trick-or-treater.
7.
Halloween activities with kids can be so fun like for instance earlier I dislocated my shoulder carving 3 pumpkins on my own while they watched Netflix and ate chocolate skeletons
8.
The best thing about parenting babies and toddlers is that you can dress them up as like, a croissant for Halloween, they don’t give a shit.
9.
A house of horrors for parents would be walking barefoot on Lego covered floors while hearing bedroom doors slam and whisper screams of their children repeatedly asking "why" and then discovering an empty coffee pot when they finally reach the kitchen.
10.
Why would I pay for a haunted house when I can wake up to my kid silently standing by my bed at 3 AM.
11.
4: did you know that pumpkins start off green? Me: yes and then turn orange when they’re ready. 4: ok can you stop talking about pumpkins?
12.
Dads love telling other dads while trick or treating, “You scared me, Bob. Next time don’t come dressed as yourself”
13.
I don’t need a haunted house to scare me because I have a teen I have to wake up for school 5 days a week.
14.
4: Want to hear a spooky story?Me: OK4: *in a loud whisper* Once upon a time, there was a giant octopus..Me: This IS scary.4: *in a normal voice* It is! Because you don't even know he's really a ghost!
15.
My daughter wants to be really scary this Halloween so instead of a costume she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.
16.
Ok I just need to think like a 39-year-old-my 6yo, trying to find the Halloween candy I hid
17.
My kid’s piano teacher told me he liked my Halloween shirt and I told him thanks but this is just how I dress.
18.
Shopping for Halloween costumes when my 10 y/o daughter stops in the adult aisle to ponder out loud, “Gosh, I’ve never seen a policewoman dressed like this before.”
19.
Leaving the kids' slime on the ceiling and calling it seasonal decor. Follow me for more housekeeping tips
20.
This year for Halloween decorations I’m just using printouts of the school emails
21.
Parents, please check your kid's Halloween candy. Last year, my son found a ring in a Snickers bar and soon after left on a quest to save the world. We haven't seen him since.
22.
“So lucky our kids have siblings so they’ll always be there for each other,” I mutter as I break up another physical fight between my daughters because they both want to be Hermione Granger for Halloween.
23.
Welp. They’re dead now. When does Shake Señora come on? -6, completely unphased by Beetlejuice
24.
Telling my kids they have nut allergies so I can have all their Reese’s.
25.
bought my daughter an elsa dress at costco and the aftermath is so much glitter on the floor it looks like ke$ha was here
26.
I was going to wear a scary costume to take the kids trick or treating this year, but realized that going as a mom with 6 kids is terrifying enough.
27.
8-year-old: I've been thinking a lot.Me: About what?8: What I'm going to do with all my Halloween candy.
