You're Gonna Be So Thankful You Stopped To Read These Hysterical Thanksgiving Tweets
Folks, it's that time of year yet again! Not only is it a time for giving thanks, it's also a time for practicing restraint when your second cousin brings up politics at the dinner table, balancing approximately three helpings of every side dish on a single plate, and answering nosy questions about your love life (or lack thereof). Here are some silly, little Thanksgiving tweets to help you emotionally pregame this holiday season:
1.
Learning minion language on Duolingo while my girl friend prepares to host thanksgiving for 48 people
— pj (@pjayevans) November 4, 2023
2.
if you ever hate yourself just remember that last year i hosted thanksgiving for my family and i told them to park in the wrong spot and every single persons car got towed
— Danya (@dxxnya) November 13, 2019
3.
You come to me on the day of my daughter’s friendsgiving
— Harry Hill (@veryharryhill) November 22, 2021
4.
home depot should sell a 12ft turkey skeleton for thanksgiving
— kim (@KimmyMonte) November 7, 2023
5.
I wanna be so high on thanksgiving I see the turkey fly off the table
— faith (@faiththegemini) October 12, 2022
6.
I wrote on my jobs Thanksgiving Potluck list that I'd bring deviled eggs. This older lady scratched out deviled and wrote in "angel" then came to me and said "Let's speak positivity over all things we do"..... I.... Wtf is an angel egg? You know what? Nevermind, I aint got time
— Shonboo (@Shonboo) November 6, 2023
7.
For $100 I will FaceTime you in scrubs on Thanksgiving and pretend to be your boyfriend that couldn’t make it because he had to work in the hospital
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) November 22, 2022
8.
[thanksgiving dinner]mom: no politics tonight everyone: absolutely me: this casserole reminds me of the bolshevik revolution
— Serg (@bonehugsnirony) November 28, 2019
9.
they should make halloween a 4-day weekend instead of thanksgiving. less time with family more time with satan
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) October 31, 2022
10.
Family gonna ask what i brought to thanksgiving this year.. Ima say beef & swing on my cousin
— toxic king (@777jorgeivan) November 14, 2022
11.
forever grateful, this year and every year, that my family does not do a 5k, play touch football, or do any kind of physical activity whatsoever on thanksgiving
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 25, 2021
12.
THANKSGIVING GAME: nobody gets pie until you go around the table & everyone has to say "climate change is real"
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) November 23, 2017
13.
friendsgiving but it’s just me at chilis with the staff
— Chris (@citehchris) November 17, 2022
14.
I didn’t get a toxic thanksgiving text. I’ve lost my touch.
— Yana (@thenineYANAs) November 29, 2019
15.
Y’all a lot of Thanksgiving food does not photograph well. Please just enjoy y’all’s food in private.
— Jordyn (@jrdynjy) November 25, 2021
16.
at my girlfriend’s house for thanksgiving and i asked if we could watch the game and she said “of course!” then put on a gossip girl thanksgiving episode
— Robert Schultz (@_RobertSchultz) November 24, 2022
17.
time as an adult: Halloween (2 hours later) Thanksgiving(5 minutes later)Christmas
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) October 31, 2023
18.
they said i gotta cook for thanksgiving , but ion think this turkey gon fit in my air fryer so….
— ? (@aliyahInterlude) November 11, 2022
19.
If your family starts arguing on Thanksgiving please go on live so we can all hear it
— MrWilin (@MrWilin) November 23, 2022
20.
"Kendall, why the fuck did you take turkey off the menu for Thanksgiving?!""Because the Great Turkey told me to." pic.twitter.com/dDDViCJ3jK
— Schaffrillas (@Schaffrillas) November 7, 2023
Twitter: @Schaffrillas / HBO
21.
happy thanksgiving to grammy nominee harry styles only
— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) November 26, 2020
22.
My mom rented a cabin in the woods for thanksgiving and my entire family is here plus my little sister is bringing 3 foreign exhange students who’ve never experienced Thanksgiving and considering this horror movie dynamic, we will all be killed by sunrise
— sarah schauer 🦂 (@sarahschauer) November 28, 2019
23.
Call your dad now and ask him what the wifi password is so he has time to find the little paper it's written on before Thanksgiving.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 11, 2022
24.
need a thanksgiving ep of euphoria, i need all those characters in one room just airing out all the dirty laundry with a 2010’s pop song in the background.
— not trin (@unknowntrin) February 6, 2022
25.
Friendsgiving and everyone gets a rotisserie chicken and a 4loko
— BRYCEWOLLMANN!!! (@TheBigAndSexy70) November 15, 2022
26. And:
hm. i’ve been alive 26 years and I still do not know what you’re supposed to eat for lunch on thanksgiving in order to maximize your dinner enjoyment
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 24, 2022
Make sure you go and follow these funny people! Have a happy turkey lurkey time!
