25 Hilarious Tweets By Women That Survived Elon Musk's First Full Week As Twitter CEO
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Twitter has never been a good or happy place, exactly, but for so many of us, it is home. So even though Elon Musk seems hell-bent on making Twitter dot com the least pleasant site on the entire internet, I'm staying. He can pry these Funny Tweets By Women roundups from my cold, dead hands.
“if you don’t like it why are you still tweeting”because I fucking love things that suck ass. I went to law school. I work as a journalist. I have almost finished playing the entirety of mass effect andromeda. I’m a dumb piece of shit
Make sure you follow these funny ladies on Twitter while you still can!
1.
high school crushes were crazy because why was i running around the whole school to get a glimpse of someone
2.
I never thought I’d relate to Elon Musk, but I also hate my job
3.
Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health but what about Outlook
4.
It's No Nut November. Time for women to take up the nutting just like our ancestors worked jobs when the men went off to war
5.
billionares are so weird. what are you saving up for? hell?
6.
when your necklace clasp rotates to the front it’s like omg what are u doing up here in the front of house get back to the kitchens we’re swamped and you’re the chef !!!!! does this track
7.
30mg adderall and i'm pulling weeds in front of my house no music playing no gloves
8.
El*n m*sk scrolling twitter for the perfect meme to tell staff they can’t take meal breaks anymore
9.
i may not have 6 friends to carry my casket but i do have 1 bestfriend who will flirt with 6 men to do it for her 🫶🏼
10.
I can't believe Twitter wants me to pay actual money, the thing Scrooge McDuck swims around in
11.
*touching his circumcision scar* they hurt you
12.
Not sure how I feel about the aquarium's incredibly sensual new ad campaign
13.
sometimes i open this app and the first thing i see will be a tweet like “when are we gonna talk about cleopatra’s acephobia” and i just have to put my phone down and talk to a real person
14.
FB parents groups love to be like, "CW EXTREME FINANCIAL PRIVILEGE!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A POOR! IT WILL HURT YOUR FEELINGS THAT IM SO RICH!!" Anyway, my house is soooooo big and I'm wondering if that's bad for my kids? What if I lose them in the ballroom?"
15.
It is hard to overstate how badass I felt listening to Weird Al at like age 9. You couldn’t tell me anything
16.
My husband is giving a French test today and these are the images he’s supposed to give the kids as prompts to talk about their day. Are we sure about this??
17.
Elon taking over Twitter reminds me of when Scar took over Pride Rock.
18.
*laughing confusedly and shaking my head* climate activism? no, no, no. i glued my hand to michelangelo's david's marble penis for personal reasons
19.
One of my problems is that I’m a dirty slutty dumb dirty little slutty dumb dirty slut, and I’m just not seeing that vibe reflected in my options on Zillow
20.
how halloween is celebrated in australia 💀
21.
It's like iMessage doesn't even know I'm at the point of my cycle where "being slow to load" is the thing that pushes me over the edge into tearing up "imagining having to write a eulogy" for "no one in particular"
22.
sooo humiliating to be reading in public. everyone can see you thirsting for knowledge
23.
realizing when rihanna said "bitch better have my money" she was talking to the proletariat 😭😭
24.
foreplay can be anything. holding hands, stroking hair, sending each other million dollar Zillow listings
25.
Humanity will never be truly liberated until we can wear whatever leg-width of jean we want, free of judgement
