35 Funny Thanksgiving Jokes to Share With Your Family
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What's a surefire way to liven up a Thanksgiving table? Some puns, of course! We've all experienced the slump that comes right after the Thanksgiving feast, when our bellies are full and all we want to do is curl up on the couch and fall asleep. It's true. Turkey makes you sleepy. Plus, after a generous portion of holiday pie and cake, we could all use a bit of relaxing and reclining. This year, combat that post-dinner slump with a little comedy show to liven up the room. Kids will love these clever one-liners, and for better or for worse, they'll be repeating them all day long. These witty jokes will make everyone in the room laugh and fight those holiday naps. We've covered every course in these funny Thanksgiving jokes, from the turkey to the pumpkin pie. Wake up any sleepy or groggy post-feast crowd with these hilarious Thanksgiving jokes.
Thanksgiving Jokes
Why should you never set the turkey next to the dessert?
Because he will gobble, gobble it up.
If your great-grandmother saw you making boxed mashed potatoes, she would turn over in her gravy.
What did Uncle Jim say to the pecan?
I only have pies for you.
What's a pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
Why do turkeys gobble?
Because they never learned table manners.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey?
Serve him lots of chocolate and ice cream.
What do you get when you divide a pie's circumference by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.
What sound does a turkey's phone make?
Wing, wing, wing!
What did the turkey say to the hunter on Thanksgiving Day?
Quack, quack.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
A turkey trot.
What key won't open any door?
A turkey.
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock.
Why didn't the cook season the Thanksgiving turkey?
There was no thyme.
What did grandma say when picking out the turkey?
Go big or gourd home.
Why did the farmer separate the chicken and the turkey?
He sensed fowl play.
What do you wear to Thanksgiving?
A har-vest.
My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes…but I couldn't quit cold turkey.
What did Aunt Lisa say to the pumpkin pie?
You are the pick of the patch.
What is a turkey's favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler!
What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?
He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food.
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving?
A turkey, because it is always stuffed.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
What does Thanksgiving have in common with Halloween?
Gobble-ins!
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?
Finally, enough drumsticks for everyone.
What is the most musical part of a turkey?
The drumsticks.
How did the turkey get home for Thanksgiving?
They took the gravy train.
What is the turkey thankful for this Thanksgiving?
Vegetarians.
Why didn't the Pilgrim want to make the bread?
It's a crummy job.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
Knock Knock. Who's there? Dewey.
Dewey who? Dewey have to wait long to eat?
Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots.
What does a pilgrim call their best friend?
A palgrim.
