21 Times the Friends Boyfriends and Girlfriends Proved You’re Better Off Single
It's happened to the best of us: Watch one too many romantic comedies in a row, and you start questioning your single status. After all, who wouldn't want to be Rachel Chu if it meant the love of your life is as hot (and rich) as Nick Young?
And it's not just movie couples that can leave one feeling lonely—TV is just as guilty. Maybe you're looking for the Big to your Carrie or wishing for your own "I got off the plane" moment. But for every Ross and Rachel and Monica and Chandler and Phoebe and Mike on Friends, there were just as many crappy couples on the show who kindly reminded us that relationships are not always roses and sunshine.
Here are all the times that Friends boyfriends and girlfriends will make you think you're better off single.
1. When Julio writes a poem and calls Monica an “empty vase”
Would we appreciate a significant other who made the effort to write romantic poetry? Sure. But we can do without the sweet nothings—and their authors—when they are actually veiled insults. Julio makes it even worse when he explains that "The Empty Vase" is not about Monica but all American women. Gross.
2. When Richard tells Monica he doesn’t want kids—but if he has to, he will
Just what every person wants to hear from their partner: "I mean, if I have to." (How romantic.) Children are one of the few topics that you can't reach a compromise on in a relationship—it's not like you can have half a child. To fall for someone and then realize you are on different pages on something that major is heartbreaking.
3. When Pete becomes obsessed with UFC
We're all for supporting each other's dreams and passions, but single-status evenings with your couch and Netflix queue trumps feigning interest in an activity you're not into every single time.
4. When Jim tells Phoebe that he writes erotic novels for children
Actually, everything about Phoebe's bizarre date with Jim makes us hope to never, ever have to endure dinners with creeps like that. We'd much rather eat alone, please and thank you.
5. When Erika licked Joey’s hand during a romantic dinner
Additional proof that you might be better off eating alone.
6. When Robert can’t keep it in his pants
Yes, there's a time and place for that in a relationship. But to have that one-eyed monster staring you down at all times? Pass.
7. When Malcolm was a certified stalker—and obsessed with Phoebe’s sister Ursula
Both offenses by themselves—stalking and pining after your sister—are a hard no in any relationship. But combined? That's enough to make us swear off dating permanently.
8. When Roger hated all of Phoebe’s friends
In the words of Leslie Knope, uteruses before duderuses. Always.
9. When Janine hates Monica and Chandler
See above. The show is literally called Friends. Obviously, friendships will (and should!) take precedence.
10. When Emily told Ross he can’t be friends with Rachel anymore
Okay, so, Emily actually had good reason to be uncomfortable with Ross and Rachel hanging out (we'll get to that later on)—but again, being in a situation in which we are forced to choose between our friends and our significant other is less than ideal. It's actually about as far away from ideal as one can get.
11. When Gary shoots a bird
Raise your hand if you'd rather be alone forever than have to wake up next to someone who shoots and kills INNOCENT CHIRPING BIRDS in the morning. (Insert 100 hand-raised emoji here.)
12. When Barry is cheating on Rachel with her best friend and maid-of-honor, Mindy
Geometry never was our forte, but we're pretty sure that there is no angle that can make a love triangle appealing. If your fiancé is having an affair with your best friend, then you are 100% better off being single.
13. When Charlie cheated on Joey with Ross—and then got back with her ex while dating Ross
To reiterate, love triangles < flying solo.
14. When Kathy cheated on Joey with Chandler—and then cheated on Chandler
Wow, there were more illicit trysts on Friends than we remembered.
15. When Paolo hits on Phoebe while dating Rachel
If you're still feeling anxious about your single status, just remind yourself that it's always better than being with a sleazeball like Paolo. We guarantee your spirits will be lifted instantly.
16. When Tag bought Rachel a scooter for her birthday
Gah, pretending to like gifts is awkward. We know it's the thought that counts, but having to pretend-love a scooter (or something equally bad) is a scenario you don't have to deal with when you're flying solo.
17. When Chandler didn’t know how to break up with Janice, so he told her he was moving to Yemen (and then actually had to fly to Yemen)
No significant other means no having to make up an elaborate exit strategy to avoid hurting anyone's feelings. You'll save yourself a lot of air miles and trouble on your own.
18. When Josh was stealing from Rachel
The last thing any of us needs is a love interest who is going to rob us blind. Even if that love interest is a hot soccer player.
19. When Carol left Ross for Susan
Ross is certainly not without his own relationship transgressions (we'll get to that in a moment), but the end of a marriage is definitely a rough thing to go through. (That said, good for Carol and Susan—a couple who did find true love!)
20. When Ross said the wrong name at the altar.
Talk about a total fail. We can't decide if it's worse than being left stranded at the altar—but we do know that it's a mortifying situation we'd never want to happen to us.
21. Anytime Janice said “Oh my God”
You can find her picture next to "I can't" in the dictionary.
Originally Appeared on Glamour
