What It’s like to Be a Woman, Summed up in 21 Photos
Photo Credit: GEMMA BOOTH - Trunk Archive
By Estee Kahn
Ah, to be a woman! We love who we are, and laugh as men try to figure us out because most of the time, we can’t figure ourselves out. But there are some things that women everywhere can relate to.
Now, we know that some of these might not apply to all women and some might even apply to men. But we’ve got 99 problems and here are some of them.
1. Broken hair clips
Ah, our beloved friends that help us quickly keep part of our hair away from our faces — and the devastating crunch or crack sound that means we’ve lost yet another one.
2. Wearing the wrong foundation color
There are so many skin tones out there and so many shades of makeup, yet we somehow always manage to find the wrong one. Instead, we end up using one that makes our face look orange, much like an Oompa Loompa.
3. Having the dreaded pony tail bump
To be cool or to look cool? That is the question. Because we all know as soon as we use a scrunchie, our hair will never be the same.
4. Using our bodies as a human canvas for makeup
Coming out of Sephora, Ulta, or any makeup place where they let you test shades, you look like you’re an artist’s canvas. How else would we be able to tell which shades match our skin tones?
5. Not waiting long enough for your nails to dry
You’ve just finished painting your nails and you’re waiting for them to dry. And then you have to go to the bathroom. Or open a can of soda. Or do anything really, all while your nails are still wet. Why must we always make such hard decisions?
6. The conditioner always runs out before the shampoo.
Does our hair grow longer or thicker in between using the shampoo and the conditioner? How else can we explain why there’s always more conditioner missing?
7. Taking your bra off at the end of the day = Heaven.
There’s nothing — I repeat: nothing — like coming home after a long day and taking off our bra. Nothing.
8. When your bra tries to pierce your heart
Under the arm or in the heart, it doesn’t matter where. The minute that underwire pokes through and stabs us we feel utterly betrayed by a best friend.
9. Clothing controlling our lives
We have so many shirts, skirts, blazers, suits, dresses, pants, sweaters, jackets and shoes that we don’t have room for more. But still, we can never find anything we want to wear.
10. When your hair tie tries to cut off your circulation
Yes, it cuts off our circulation and leaves a mark, but at least we will know we always have a spare pony tail should we need it.
11. Making sure to always have a back up hair tie
We keep hair ties in our bags, pockets, wrists, bras, and everywhere else we can think to keep an extra one, just in case we lose the one on our wrist.
12. Shaving in the summer vs. shaving in the winter
Thank goodness for leggings and tights.
13. When your makeup comes to its untimely end
It helped us through some tough acne times and some easy touch-up times. But still, we mourn it when we open the compact to this monstrosity.
14. When we simply can’t explain our unknown cravings
Whether it’s because we’re pregnant, in the middle of PMS, or just because, we all get those weird cravings. And the worst is when we don’t even know what we’re craving, but we need it now.
15. When we eat Advil for breakfast when we have our periods
We wake up with cramps and before we do anything, we grab the whole bottle of Advil, Midol, Tylenol — anything we can get our hands on. And then we wonder if there really is a downside to taking them all.
16. Straight hair vs. curly hair
We’re rarely happy with our hair. If we have straight hair, we need to make it look naturally curled. If we’re “plagued” by curly hair, we need to straighten it. And then there’s the endless amount of products we put in our hair to make it stay that way.
17. When our eyeliner is NEVER even the first time around
We always have one side that we manage to get perfect and then the other side manages to come out like a three-year-old did it. Unless you’re ambidextrous, you’ll need to redo it.
18. Evening out your makeup makes you look like a raccoon
Once we mess up the other side, it’s an endless process of trying to get the sides to match without ruining the brilliant work we managed. Instead, we end up looking like this.
19. When we’d rather walk around blind than ruin our makeup
If by some miracle we manage to get our makeup to look amazing, that’s when we get something in our eyes. Do we care about our eyes enough to risk our makeup to get it out, or is our makeup too perfect?
20. There’s always a crime scene after we shave
No, we didn’t just kill someone. It’s just those stupid little nicks we get that, for some unknown reason, bleed for hours.
21. We follow the endless selfie cycle
Once we’ve taken care of all of our other problems and finally deem ourselves pretty enough for a selfie, we begin the endless selfie cycle, until we take that one photo that captures us just like we see ourselves.
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