I Honestly Feel Terrible For The 20 People Who Probably Regret Every Damn Decision They Made This Week

·3 min read

1. The person whose laptop literally melted in the heat:

2. The person whose phone pumped a little too much iron:

3. The person whose hiding spot was betrayed by the Sun:

4. The person who inadvertently ruined someone's whole engagement:

5. The person whose poor, poor tire only lasted six whole days:

6. The person who will probably be replaying the day they cut that kitchen counter over and over again in their head:

7. The person who has to take care of their business with toilet paper for ghosts. FOR GHOSTS!

8. The person who I will now affectionately refer to as "Pesto Hulk":

9. The person whose neighbor was nice enough to share their rotten juices with them:

10. The person who will never trust a thing of mixed nuts ever again:

11. The person who, in their words, sorta became reverse coffee Moses:

12. The person who will never, ever get those precious 15 minutes back:

13. The person whose dang oven went nuclear right at dinner time:

14. The person who had a close encounter with what they affectionately refer to as "Satan's Mustache":

15. The person who spent a fortune on what just might be the world's saddest salad:

16. The person who's gonna be doin' some good ol' grillin' in the back of their Honda today, baby!

17. The person whose new avant-garde TV seems to be working just fine:

18. The person who hopefully learned a valuable lesson about driving on roofs:

19. The person who now has a nice, slippery PS5 controller:

20. And the person who tried so hard and go so far but in the end could not make the guy:

You'll get 'em next time, Mom.