Dating Can Be UNBELIEVABLY Frustrating, But These 20 Original Pick Up Lines Will Make Any Political Junkie Smile

Dating can be SO frustrating and monotonous, especially if you're tired of hearing the same old pick up lines.

To spice things up, I wrote 20 original president-themed lines — because nothing is sexier than a bunch of old men in bad wigs and excessive mustaches:

1.George Washington: "I cannot tell a lie...there's some wood on my body with your name on it (and I'm not talking about my wooden teeth). 🦷😉🪵"

2.John Adams: "They call me John Adams because I'm extremely independent, and dating me would be revolutionary. 🔫😉🫖"

3.Thomas Jefferson: "When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to ask: would you like to go out with me? (Rest assured, I am quite endowed by my creator.) 📜😉🇺🇸"

4.James Madison: "Some call me the Father of the Constitution, but you can call me 'Daddy.' ✍️😉👨"

5.James Monroe: "Our love would be like the United States under the Monroe Doctrine: always expanding. ♾️😉💥"

6.William Henry Harrison: "Let's hook up. I promise to pull a Reverse William Henry Harrison and actually wear protection against the elements. 🧥😉🌨️"

7.Millard Fillmore: "If I may be so bold, it would be my greatest pleasure to Fill you once and then Fill you once More, M'llardy. 🚰😉🤤"

8.Abraham Lincoln: "Hey girl, you make me wanna emancipate this dick! 🏃‍♂️😉🎩"

9.Ulysses S. Grant: "I like to take charge, and I always finish the job. 🦾😉🏇"

10.Grover Cleveland: "I know we broke up four years ago to see other people, but I think we should pull a Grover Cleveland and get back together to give this relationship another shot. 🔂😉😇"

11.Theodore Roosevelt: "I'm like Theodore Roosevelt: I lean a little to the left and know how to navigate a canal. ⬅️😉💦"

12.Herbert Hoover: "Are you a Great Depression-era public works project named after President Hoover? 'Cause DAM!!! 👀😉🌊"

13.Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Just call me FDR, 'cause my liberal agenda in the bedroom will have you coming back for seconds, and thirds, and half of a fourth (hand stuff). 👏😉🗳️"

14.John F. Kennedy: "Are you the government's official statement on the John F. Kennedy assassination, which claims that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone? 'Cause you're a liiiiiittle too perfect to be true! 🕵️😉🇺🇸"

15.Richard Nixon: "Want to get freaky in the bedroom? 'Cause I've got a Tricky Dick with your name on it! 🥴😉🍆"

16.Jimmy Carter: "Just like Jimmy Carter gave up his peanut farm to become president, I'd sacrifice everything I own just to be with you. 🥜😉💸"

17.Ronald Reagan: "I'm a proponent of trickle-down bedonomics: you do all the work, and I get all the reward. But I'll throw a quicky your way every so often so you won't lose faith in the system. 💧😉🛏️"

18.George W. Bush: "Quick, you have to help me!! I need you to thoroughly strip search my body for weapons of mass destruction. 👀😉💣" (Bonus: after you finish — but before the other person finishes — proudly declare “mission accomplished!”)

19.Barack Obama: "Your past relationships may have been a disappointment, but I'm the change you need. 💪😉🪙" (Alternatively, if you're already in the bedroom: "Can we do it? Yes, we can!")

20.Donald J. Trump: "I've really enjoyed getting to know you. Would you like to grab a cup of covfefe with me sometime? ☕😉🧡"