20 Conversation Starters for the Socially Anxious
Putting something on your to-do list isn't enough to get it done. Because you don’t always know where to start or the steps you need to take. Skimm Scripts gives you the words, spreadsheets, or templates you need to get things off your to-do list...and get on with your life.
If you have social anxiety, you know how foreign it feels to watch friends and coworkers make regular small talk without breaking a sweat…or eye contact. That’s where licensed psychologist Alicia Hodge comes in. She has scripts you’ll want to bookmark, screenshot, or copy and paste before your next gathering.
Conversation starters for your next social event
Congrats, you agreed to a social gathering. But before you set foot at happy hour or brunch, Hodge has a few tips to take the edge off:
Remind yourself that you’re probably (read: definitely) criticizing yourself more than anyone else will.
Instead of worrying about what you’re going to say next, focus on listening. It will help you think of natural questions and responses.
On top of the scripts below, the mantra, “I am here to practice,” can help take some of the pressure off.
Now, let’s get into what to say when you’re…
At a party where you don’t know anyone
“How do you know [HOST’S NAME]?”
“Are you originally from this area?”
“How long have you been at the party?”
On a first date
“What movie or TV series are you currently watching?”
“Have you traveled anywhere recently?”
“How long have you lived in this area?”
Hanging out with a new friend
“Where did you go to school?”
“Does your family live in this area?”
“How do you spend most weekends?”
“Where is your favorite place to go for dinner?”
Getting to know new colleagues
“How long have you worked here?”
“What is your favorite part about working here?”
“What do you typically do for lunch?”
“Who is your go-to person for [TOPIC] help?”
A mom wanting to make mom friends
“How did you choose [KID’S NAME]?”
“What types of places do you like to take [KID’S NAME]?”
“What plans does your family have this summer?”
“Do you have any suggestions for parks/recreation places for kids?”
Meeting your partner’s family or friends for the first time
“What is your funniest memory of [PARTNER’S NAME]?”
“What are [PARTNER’S NAME]’s top three qualities?”
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Getting to know someone is about exchanging information, says Hodge. “Being curious about a person’s interests and hobbies [and] their past experiences” can fuel the conversation. And while these scripts can’t cure an anxiety disorder, they may make you dread your next party a little less.
