1. The person who gets absolutely lasered by the sun every single morning:
2. The person whose bedroom ceiling didn't just collapse, it ERUPTED:
3. The guy with the best seat in the house:
What's my man about to watch? Pole Side Story? Everything Everywhere All at a Pole? Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Big Pole? My goodness!
4. The person who apparently asked Wolverine to do their dishes:
5. The person who now must spend the rest of their natural life forever picking up Mommy's beads:
6. The person who cooked their iPhone juuuuust right:
7. The person with the chocolatiest luggage around:
8. The old chap with the minty-fresh nards:
9. The person who committed first-degree banana-cide:
10. The person who just might have the worst avocado luck in the world:
11. The person who's about to be eatin' some good goop for dinner:
Hope you boys like GOOP!
12. The person who got a little extra surprise with their cheese:
13. The person who had unthinkable tragedy happen to them:
14. The person whose car was literally felled by a dang wrench. A WRENCH!
15. The person whose wedding gift...turned into a wedding nightmare:
A dookiemare, if you will.