The 19 Best Chairs to Have Sex On, Ranked
Look, sex doesn’t have to happen with both partners lying horizontally on a bed. Sometimes sex can be standing up, mid-air, or seated. This is where chair sex comes in. Who knew chairs could be so kinky beyond just like, sitting in them and sexting from?! Consider chairs to be the beds of everywhere that isn’t a bedroom. No matter what room (or even motor vehicle! See the second item on this list) you’re likely close to a chair somewhere. Of course, not all chairs are equal in terms of bone-ability. It’s good to know which chairs are posture-supporting boning machines and when they’re just an injury waiting to happen.
To help break it down, we’ve ranked the best kinds of chairs to have sex on.
1. Sex Swing
Maybe it’s a cop out because it’s technically made for the act of sex, but sex swings are objectively the best “chairs” to have sex in because the opportunities for fun are endless. Sure, you might not be able to casually plop down in them after a long day, but the novelty and experience of having a danged sex swing is well worth it.
2. Seat of a Car
Again, not a technical “chair” but car sex is such a classic staple of seated sex that we simply have to include it on this list. You probs got acquainted with car sex in your teenage-dom, but car sex as an adult also slaps, FYI. Just keep it legal, please and thank you.
3. Bungee Office Chair
Posture-supporting and springy? Tell me you don’t see those elastics and think “that would help with bouncing.” The bungee cord office chair was made for frick-fracking. Just make sure you lock the wheels on that baby so you don’t get too into things and injure yourself.
4. Lounge Chair
Any chair where you can adjust the seat so you can be more upright or lay it all the way down is a plus. You get the versatility of a well-supported lap-dancing vessel and what is essentially a thin bed in one! But the really great thing about lounge chairs is that they’re usually made of plastic (or sturdy wood) that can clean up easily. They’re also usually low enough to the ground that you won’t feel like, dizzy riding someone on there.
5. Butterfly Chair
Great in theory, but far too risky in actuality. You know one wrong shift and the whole thing will topple over. Plus, it’s a con how the seat of the chair sits way lower than comfortable for sex-having. Ideal sex chairs have your thighs on the same level as your bum for optimal control.
6. Massage Chair
Feeling those magic fingers on your back while having sex is the closest you'll ever have to an orgy. Plus, if you're feeling really lazy, you can just put the thing on "kneading" mode and let it do all the thrusting for you.
7. Armchair
This guy is all plush comfort and warm leather. It's almost like you're having a three-way. Well, it's like having a three-way if the third person has really leathery skin and you just sit in their lap the whole time.
8. Recliner
The great thing about this is you can adjust the angle at any time. It's like a Sleep Number bed for your genitals. The only knock against it is that you can accidentally get your feet caught in between the chair and the leg rest as it closes. There's nothing sexy about getting pinned in by a chair.
9. Beach Chair
This one is great up until the point when you break through the thin chair material. It's like having sex on a 50-year-old trampoline. This one is really for the advance set. You don't want this to be the first chair you've ever had sex on, amateur.
10. Club Chair
This thing feels like it belongs in a millionaire's library. You feel important having sex in this chair. Like a president that's having sex in a chair.
11. Dentist Chair
As long as you don't have a paralyzing fear of dentists, this thing is pretty comfortable. Plus, you can do weird things with the water spray nozzle. Weird things.
12. Barstool
The simple design will give you the most flexibility in terms of sexual positions. It's nothing fancy, but it's reliable, like a barstool should be. If you really want to get kinky, just flip it over.
13. Beanbag
Pretty good if you don't mind thinking about how your mom threw out all your old Beanie Babies. Some of those are worth money now. You're focusing less on sex and more on the realization that you can recite most of those tag poems by heart. If you weren't so distracted, you'd realize you've basically rolled off the beanbag and onto the floor now anyway.
14. Rocking Chair
Pros: You can use the gentle rocking to your advantage during sex. Cons: It reminds you of your grandmother. It makes the whole thing kind of a wash. Also, not to stereotype, but these chairs are pretty brittle.
15. Glider
You know when you have sex and you wind up accidentally moving your hips in the same direction at the same time so it's almost like you're not having sex at all? Picture that happening the entire time, but with the chair you're having sex on.
16. Office Chair
This one sounds great in theory, but it's like trying to walk across an ice rink in flippers. Every time you get some momentum going, you just wind up rolling into the wall or down the stairs.
17. Adirondack Chair
This is all hard wood designed to stand up to the elements, which means it's all hard angles and harder surfaces. You might not get splinters in your ass, but you'll wind up with bruises everywhere. Plus, no back support.
18. Folding Chair
You're running with the devil here. It's way too easy to have this thing clamp shut on fingers or testicles. There's not much going on. Sure, it serves its purpose, but there are better ways to sit. It's the missionary position of chairs.
19. Inflatable Chair
This is great if you love popping balloons while having sex and getting your sweaty skin stuck to inflated plastic. You probably don't love that though, so this is horrible.
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