18 Genuinely Hilarious Tweets By Parents That Made Me HOWL With Laughter

i asked the 2 year old what her goals are for 2024 and she yelled “NOTHING” at the top of her lungs she is truly always inspiring me

— Mary Ellen (@alissacaliente) January 3, 2024

Had a talk with the kids at dinner about New Year’s resolutions but I guess the 6yo doesn’t quite grasp the concept because she went around the table and told each of us what SHE thinks WE should do better and…..you guys I think she might be onto something.

— Dinah (@dinahaddie) January 2, 2024

my sister to my 4yo: are you open to some feedback?him: no, i'm closed to feedback please.

— Rena (@ReenNahMean) December 28, 2023

My 4 year-old learned how to spot an EXIT sign in preschool and her teacher told her she was really good at it so now she points out EXIT signs to people everywhere we go. It’s the cutest way I’ve seen anybody tell someone it was time for them to leave.

— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) January 9, 2024

You think your kids are so mature and growing up and then you have to say something like “the bathroom is not for karate”

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 7, 2024

6YO said she’ll never be able to appreciate winter, cause snow on the bushes reminds her of cauliflower

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) January 8, 2024

Every conversation with a child getting ready for school in the winter ends with a parent yelling, "FINE, THEN FREEZE."

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 12, 2024

my 2yo officially has reached the milestone of climbing out of his crib. we discovered this when after bedtime, we heard his doorknob turn, and he proudly proclaimed, "hi!!!!!!!! i leave crib!!!!!!!"

— emily (@emilykmay) January 12, 2024

My daughter is sad because one of her preschool friends hasn’t been in school because he’s on vacation. I asked where he went and she said “he’s at the place where you can’t see the fox but the fox can see you” and I dunno I just feel like I’d need a vacation from that vacation.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) January 10, 2024

The thing about 4 year olds is no matter how tired they are, if they get an 86 second nap in a car it will be enough to fuel them for the next 48 hours.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 9, 2024

My son trying to pay for his groceries with a drivers license…he is going to JAIL pic.twitter.com/KMNW2yxIMt

— 🤘🏽💙 (@CindyM0on) January 4, 2024

“I don’t want the orange juice with the fruit meat”. - my 6yo referring to pulp as fruit meat

— Princess (@themultiplemom) January 1, 2024

Me: Have a good day at school.Child: Impossible.Me: What? Why?Child: Hey dad, have a good day at work.Me: Oh ok I see what you’re saying.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 9, 2024

My daughter called me the other day and after a little while just said “well I’m out of things to talk to you about” and hung up

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 1, 2024

My husband doesn’t see the hilarious irony that he sent our identical twins to school in matching sweatshirts that say, “Be Unique!” on the front and now I’m questioning who I married.

— Shit I tell my toddler (@Toddler_talkin) January 11, 2024

I’ve never committed a crime but I have changed my niece’s diaper in the public washroom while she screamed “YOU’RE NOT MY MOM”

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 10, 2024

Me every weekend: I wish my 3yo would sleep past 6:30 AMMe when my 3yo sleeps past 6:30 AM: oh no what is the Matter; has he taken Ill; I cannot Rest 'til I have Ascertained what is Wrong

— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) January 15, 2024

when i became a parent, i was prepared for the inevitable tantrums over no cookies for dinner or it's time to turn off the tv to go to bed; i was not prepared for the 15 minute tantrum because he asked me for chocolate milk and i gave him some.

— emily (@emilykmay) January 1, 2024

My 6yo told his teacher we had no food in the house so she sent a flyer home with him for the local food bank. Go-Gurt, we had no Gogurt.

— My Life Is The Pitts Family (@LifePitts) January 9, 2024