17 reasons “Home Alone” was way weirder than you remember
Have you ever revisited a holiday classic you loved as a child and been like, “WHAT??” Kids movies are often stranger than they seem upon first watch. Take, for example, 1990’s beloved Home Alone starring Macaulay Culkin.
The plot is bizarre right off the bat. Home Alone is literally about a boy whose family forgets to bring him when they head out on a Christmas vacation. We don’t know about you, but our families would sooner have handcuffed us to our luggage than risk leaving us behind when we were eight.
This is such a foreign concept to most kids that, of course, it seems appealing at first glance. But as Kevin McCallister soon learns, living alone isn’t all fun, games, and “a lovely cheese pizza, just for me.” Here are the 17 moments that prove Home Alone is a lot weirder than you remember.
1. When Kevin’s family torments him, yet somehow he’s the bad guy.
We’re sorry, is Kevin supposed to be in the wrong here? His brother rudely ate his slice of cheese pizza, then told Kevin to eat his barf. On top of that, his entire family is dismissive and downright cruel to him when he gets upset! #TeamKevin.
2. When Fuller acts like a complete sociopath.
It is one-hundred percent justified for Kevin to not want to share a bed with this kid. He is maniacally grinning while chugging Pepsi, despite his bed-wetting problem!
3. When Kevin’s uncle calls him a jerk.
Allow us to point out the obvious: a grown adult man shouldn’t call an eight-year-old a jerk.
4. When Kevin is way chill about waking up to an empty house.
On second thought, his family is slightly abusive so maybe we get it.
5. When one of Kevin’s first activities as an accidentally emancipated minor is to…shave the nonexistent hair off his face.
Are 8-year-old boys fascinated by shaving? Is this a thing?
6. When his mom finally realizes exactly what she left behind.
Social Services should have gotten involved with this family a long time ago.
7. When Kevin’s grocery shopping experience is the most realistic part of the movie.
#Same.
8. When these two were the most conspicuous robbers this side of the Hamburglar
Just sitting outside in broad daylight, being shady in their shady van.
9. When Kevin stages a decoy Christmas party to delay his would-be tormentors
Maybe we’re just jealous of Kevin’s DIY skills. Has he considered a career in window design?
10. When Kevin is doing this less than an hour before robbers are scheduled to break into his house.
Seems like a good time to alert an adult to his situation, but why make things easy?
11. When he once again demonstrates superior artistry.
We smell a future architecture major!
12. When the opening “BB gun to the crotch” move isn’t enough to deter Harry and Marv.
It all should have ended right here. As the guys from CinemaSins put it, “At this point, the burglars should call the cops on this psychotic little bastard who openly rejoices after shooting people in the face.”
13. When Kevin is revealed to be a sadistic monster.
We know we said he deserved sympathy earlier, but this is a bit much.
14. When this happens.
Of all the implausible things about this scene, the fact that Harry isn’t suspicious when Kevin yells, “Come and get me!” before he opens the door is probably #1.
15. When Kevin reveals he’s been enjoying this way too much.
No wonder there’s a fan theory that Kevin McCallister is Jigsaw from the SAW movie franchise. The kid is living for this!
16. When the McCallister house is left unscathed.
Kevin manages to clean up all the (likely extensive) damage caused by his shenanigans before his parents arrive home. Also, what’s up with his outfit? He’s dressed like a miniature grandpa.
17. When Kevin comes out of everything seemingly unscathed.
We guess the jury is still out on this one, considering that whole “Kevin as Jigsaw” theory mentioned above. But seriously — he’s not even a little bit mad at his parents for leaving him behind?
So yeah, this movie is pretty strange. Does that make us love it any less? Absolutely not!
