16 Guys Get Real About Their First Time Having Sex
Having sex for the first time can be a big decision. It might feel awkward, exciting, confusing, or a combination of all those feelings and more. But it’s so important to remember that everyone’s experience with first-time sex is different, and that the definition of sex and “losing your virginity” varies from person to person. What matters most is that you and your partner both consented to sex and that you’re using protection.
Your first sexual experience with a partner might involve vaginal, anal, or oral sex, or no penetration at all. You might orgasm the first time you have sex, or you might not, and that’s totally normal. It can take time to understand and learn what you like and don’t like sexually, and what turns you on. While everyone’s experience varies, hearing about others’ experiences can help you determine if you’re ready and navigate your own first time. To help you understand what it might be like, below, 16 guys get real about the first time they had sex — including how it happened and how they felt afterward.
1. “I had just turned 17 and my girlfriend and I had been dating for a few months when we decided it was the right time. After waiting two or three nights out of anxiety, we were finally able to share the experience. We waited for her parents to go to bed, and after what seemed like hours, they did. We fumbled around with the condom in the dark, but eventually realized it would be easier with the lights on.” — Jay, 18
2. “I was 18 and in my first semester of college. The girl I lost my virginity with was a good friend of mine. One night, we were both coming back from a party. In the Uber home, we started flirting and making out. When we got back to her dorm, we went at it. Five minutes in, we heard a voice say, ‘What are you guys doing?!’ It was her roommate — sitting upright, staring at us from her bed. We were so busy hooking up that we forgot to check if she was asleep.” — Jake, 19
3. “We had been hooking up and hanging out for about three weeks when I was 21. We got really serious, really quickly, basically spending all our weekends and some weekday time together. She was staying at my family’s house for the weekend — the first time either of us had met another’s parents — and when we realized everyone had left for a few hours one morning, we gave sex a shot. We didn’t really know what we were doing, but it wasn’t awkward at all because we trusted each other a lot. We laughed when we decided to leave the bedroom doors wide open, since it was important to hear people coming back. At the time, I was pretty pumped. And sweaty. Two days later, we became official.” — Landon, 22
4. “I met a girl off of Tinder. On our third date, we were watching movies at her place and getting along well. We just cuddled, kissed, and went slowly from there. I never told her it was my first time because of male stereotypes — I didn’t want to seem inexperienced. I thought telling girls that I had never had sex would hurt my chances. I was nervous and excited at the same time, and it didn’t last very long. She might have known that I was a virgin (or thought I was bad).” — Isaiah, 20
5. “I lost my virginity when I was 18 years old. As a guy, you feel a certain pressure to lose your virginity, but I still wanted my first time to be special. She was a junior in college and I was freshman. We met when she started hitting on me at a diner after a party. We started hooking up every weekend. Three weeks later, we came back to my room and things were different. Neither of us planned to have sex, but it happened. It was good, but I was so nervous, I didn’t truly enjoy it. Afterwards, she told me I was amazing. Although I didn’t realize my romantic dream, I didn’t and still don’t care. We continued hooking up for the next few months until one day she told me she was getting back together with her ex-boyfriend. To this day, I still haven’t told her that she took my virginity.” — Tyler, 21
6. “We were both 13. I made her laugh and she thought I was cute, so we started dating. A month later, we decided to have sex. I wasn’t really ready, but I just went with it. I had no idea where to put it. It felt amazing, but I regret the timing, the girl, and not using a condom.” — Jon, 20
7. “It was the first week of classes during my freshman year of college, and I had been interested in a girl in my dorm since orientation. We had already been making out semi-regularly. Our make-out session was more intense than usual, so I asked if she wanted to have sex, and she nodded. If I’m being honest, I had a hard time getting started, but she was patient and helped guide me through it. I was afraid the entire time that she wasn’t enjoying herself, and to make it worse, I finished very quickly. Looking back on it, I wish that I had waited until I was more certain that I was actually interested in her. A lot of my relationship with her beforehand was me thinking about losing my virginity, which certainly didn’t help.” — Caleb, 20
8. “I was visiting my girlfriend in college my freshman year. We had been dating for four years. It hurt for her at first. I wish it didn’t. But we did what we could — we were comfortable with each other, so we were both patient.” — Xander, 20
9. “I was 16 and had been in a committed relationship with the same girl for nearly two years. We had spoken about it for months. Finally, it happened one night in her bedroom when her parents were out. We made sure to use a condom. Even though I’m no longer with her, I have no regrets about it because at the time, it was right. I do, however, wish we hadn’t built it up to be something that it really isn’t and wish we hadn’t treated it as a massive milestone.” — Jack, 19
10. “I was 17 and with my girlfriend of four and a half years. It was the first time for both of us. It was after school on a Friday. We made plans to meet at her parents’ apartment in the city. When I got there, the lights were dimmed, candles were lit, and she was in lingerie. She told me she wanted it to be special for the both of us. The experience was amazing, and there’s never going to be another time like it. I was with the person I loved the most and couldn’t have asked for it to be any better.” — Matt, 19
11. “I lost it to my girlfriend when I was 18. We were together for a year or two and I loved her. At the time, I was nervous — like, what if I’m not big enough or what if I finish too quickly? But I enjoyed the experience. It was a rush of emotions.” — Danny, 19
12. “I was 17. We were working on a summer play together, and there was definitely some will-they-or-won’t-they chemistry between us. We hung out a few times, and eventually, the subject of sex came up in conversation. I said that I was a virgin. She said she was fine with that, even though she wasn’t a virgin. I was pretty happy afterward (as most guys are), but I wasn’t going around boasting or anything. Our relationship eventually turned rocky — pretty typical for a high school relationship — but I’d like to think we’re friends now. I try to keep in touch.” — Jack, 22
13. “It’s awkward because it’s a different experience than anything in your life up until that point. It’s a fairly simple concept, but when it’s your first time, everything is difficult. I was 20. I was in a long-distance relationship with a girl I hadn’t actually met in person up until that point. We didn’t really know each other physically, and that probably contributed to the awkwardness. I don’t have any regrets, but it could have turned out better. I was pretty nervous.” — Kyle, 21
14. “I was dating this girl for a few months when I was 13. She was great — funny but shy, cool but aloof, and she liked all the same music I did. One night, when it was pouring rain, she came over. She couldn’t get a ride, so she walked three miles. That made me think maybe she wanted to have sex, which was absolutely terrifying. We had never done that before. We’re both shaking — her from the freezing New England rain, me from pure fear. I’m pretty sure I used some stupid line, like, ‘We should get you out of those wet clothes’ or ‘Let’s warm you up, babe.’ She handed me a condom, and neither of us could figure out how to put it on, so I called my more experienced friend and had him talk me through it. Eventually, I got it on.” — Ari, 16
15. “I was 17. I had hooked up a couple times with a girl who was a year older than I was. She asked me to pick her up at a party. I didn’t really know what her intentions were, but after she got in the car, she told me to park at a nearby park. We got in the backseat of the car and then things just escalated pretty quickly from there. I was happy to get it over with, especially since a couple of my friends had already lost their virginity. My only regret is that I didn’t use a condom.” — Drew, 19
16. “I had met a girl online and hung out with her once before we decided to have sex. I was so excited to finally lose my virginity. I was 18 at the time. I put on a condom and tried to stick it in, but a few seconds later, she was in pain. I pulled out, got dressed, and hurried out. I felt so embarrassed on the way home. To this day, I still greatly regret losing it in that way. I haven’t talked to her since.” — Reid, 20
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