These 150 Fish Puns Will Have You Bubbling Over With Laughter

Need a laugh? If marine-related humor is what floats your boat, then you'll be starfish-struck by the best fish puns. Not only will they make a splash written on birthday cards or used for beach Instagram captions, but they're also one of the funniest jokes for kids, too.

Each of these 150 fish puns—which we broke down into short fish puns, one-liners, fish jokes and more—is ab-sole-lutely Finding Nemo approved, so keep reading for some of the most gilliant puns the ocean's ever sea-n.

Take a dive with 150 of the best fish puns of whale-time.

Related: Take the Bait With These 125 Fishing Quotes That Will Get You Out on the Water in No Time

150 Best Fish Puns

1. Let minnow

2. You're fintastic

3. It's ofishial

4. Aiding and a-bait-ing

5. That's gilliant

6. Drop the bass

7. Bubble-teamed

8. Mussel up

9. Walk the plankton

10. Holy carp!

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Short Fish Puns

11. For heaven’s hake

12. Just squidding

13. Heart and sole

14. Pull a mussel

15. Turtle disaster

16. It’s ex-squid-it

17. My nemo-sis

18. Ink about it

19. Flex your mussel

20. Sole survivor

21. The last craw

22. You’re fin-ished

23. Royally scrod

24. A gillion dollars

25. On squid row

26. You gotta be squidding me

27. Stop clown-fishing around

28. Snapper out of it!

29. De-bait-able

30. De-betta-ble

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One-liner Fish Puns

31. Sounds fishy to me

32. Any-fin is possible

33. Tuna in next time

34. Don’t trout yourself

35. Thanks for the oppor-tuna-ty

36. You’ve been schooled

37. You’re kraken me up

38. Don’t go fishing for compliments

39. Cod you pass the peas?

40. Keep your friends close, anemones closer

41. You betta believe it

42. I wouldn’t be cod dead

43. Salmon call a doctor

44. You’re just jellyfish

45. That’s a load of pollocks

46. You have so-fish-ticated taste

47. Salmon had to say it

48. You don’t have to be a brain sturgeon to figure it out

49. You’re krilling me

50. Cod you be any funnier?

51. Let minnow what you think

52. There’s no jaws for concern

53. Stop being so koi about it

54. I’ve been herring all about it

55. That’s a load of carp

56. I’ve met the gill of my dreams

57. The employee was an e-fish-ient worker

58. I feel that in my sole

59. Feel my wrasse!

60. Can I kelp you? Octopus puns

61. You’re so tenta-cool

62. How do you make an octopus laugh?

63. You octupi my heart

64. An octopus is always ready for war because they’re well-armed

65. Octo-puss in boots

66. What do you call octopus twins? I-tentacle

67. Where does an octopus sing? The choral reef

68. What do you call an octopus without shoes? A sock-topus

69. Why did the octopus cross the reef? To get to the other tide

70. What’s for dessert? Octo-pie!

71. Where does an octopus keep her money? In an octo-purse

72. Who took the baby octopus for ransom? Squid-nappers

73. What do you call a fish you bring as a plus one? An octo-plus one

74. What makes an octopus giggle? Ten tickles

75. What has eight arms and tells the time? A clock-topus

76. How do little fish get to school? They take the octo-bus

77. What is an octopus’s favorite month? Octo-ber

78. What do you call a flying octopus? An octo-copter

79. What’s an octopus’ favorite Jonas Brothers song? I’m a sucker for you

80. Stay octo-mistic!

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Funny Fish Puns

81. What do you call underwater organized criminals? Lobsters

82. You are shrimply irrestible

83. I'm cray for you

84. How did the fish buy an engagement ring? It prawned everything

85. Krill out, man

86. He had a girlfriend, but then he lobster

87. Don’t give me that crabitude

88. Stop in the name of the claw

89. What do you call a lobster elf? Sandy Claws

90. Don’t be shellfish

91. Not too crabby

92. It’s time to shell-abrate

93. Why couldn’t the crustacean clean his room? Because he was a slobster

94. Holy crab!

95. Don’t be late, make it snappy!

96. You need to take a krill pill

97. Party like a lobster

98. What did the cowgirl say? Yee-claw!

99. What do you call a lobster with bad luck? On a roll

100. Have a crabulous day

Fish Jokes

101. What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny

102. How do fish make decisions? They flip a coin

103. Who do fish pray to? Cod Almighty

104. What do you call an aquatic celebrity? A starfish

105. What’s Taylor Fish’s favorite song she’s ever written? You Need to Clam Down

106. What do you call a whale that can fly? A pilot whale

107. What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of Fortune

108. What do you call a pod of musical whales? An orca-stra

109. What’s the Loch Ness Monster’s favorite meal? Fish-n-ships

110. Why did the fish get fired from his job? The company’s scaling back

111. Why do dolphins live in saltwater? Because they’re allergic to pepper

112. What’s your horoscope? Piscine

113. What currency do dolphins use? Sand dollars

114. What social media platform do fish use? Fishbook

115. What is a fish’s favorite type of joke? Whale jokes. They’re really a killer

116. What did the clam say to the fish? I mollusk you a question

117. What do you say to an upset orca? Everything whale be alright

118. What country do dolphins live in? Finland

119. How do fish with difficulty hearing communicate? Piscine language

120. What do you say to an upset fish? You need to clam down

121. Where do fish sleep? In the riverbed.

122. What kind of fish go to heaven? Angelfish

123. How much money does a fish have? A gillion dollars

124. What is the name of the secret agent fish? Pond. James Pond

125. How does a dolphin react when they’re mad? They flip out

126. What did the dolphin say on the first date? We just click

127. Where do fish go for a facelift? The plastic sturgeon

128. What is a whale’s favorite candy? Blubber gum

129. Why are fish so smart? Because they swim in schools

130. How do fish like their burgers? Whale done

131. Where does a fish astronaut go? Trouter space

132. Why did the fish go to the optometrist? Because she was having trouble sea-ing

133. Do whales play with slime? No, they prefer blubber

134. What did the fish say after eating a big meal? I’m so blow-ted

135. Where does a killer whale go to get braces? An orca-dontist

136. What did the fish say when he gave up? Oh, whale

137. What do you call a fish priest? A holy mackerel

138. Where does a fish borrow money? From a loan shark

139. What is the most expensive fish in the world? A goldfish

140. What is a whale’s favorite movie? License to krill

141. Why did the fish need to calm down? She was over-whale-med

142. Which Whitney Houston song is a fish’s favorite? I Whale Always Love You

143. What kind of mattress does a dolphin sleep on? A water bed

144. What did the fish say at the altar? Yes, I whale

145. What is another name for a fish murderer? A serial kriller

146. What does a fish say when they have to break bad news? Sorry to burst your bubble

147. How do you congratulate a fish? Whale done

148. What kind of fish only comes out at night? A starfish

149. How do you make money in the ocean? You scale up

150. Why was the shark still hungry? He didn’t fin-ish his meal

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