12 Milestones You Shouldn't Overlook

Some events in your child's life may not feel so eventful—but they're important signs of the growth that's taking place right under your nose.

We all look forward to our child’s major milestones—the day they take their first wobbly step, say “Mama” or "Dada" clearly, or head off to preschool. But there are lots of other checkpoints along the way to becoming a big kid that are easy to overlook—and more significant than we may realize.

We asked experts to pinpoint some of the most common (and fun) milestones parents don't always tune into. Learn when they’re most likely to start happening and what they signal for your little one’s development.

Editor's Note

Keep in mind that it's normal (and expected) for children to hit these milestones at various times. Milestone timelines tell us the typical timeframes new skills are learned but some children will naturally arrive at the skills earlier or later. However, significantly delayed development is cause for concern so check with your pediatrician if you have any worries.

Baby Milestones

With so much daily care needed for your infant—and the exhaustion all that work tends to cause, it can be easy to miss some key baby milestones.

Cracking up: around 3 months

For the first few months of life, your baby is an eating, pooping, and sleeping machine. But between 3 and 6 months, they'll develop a sense of humor and will laugh in response to something they find funny. “An infant’s brain starts to process information more quickly at this stage of development,” says Jacqueline Kirby Wilkins, PhD, an education professor at Ohio State University, in Columbus.

In general, it takes superactive stimuli—making a silly face or saying, “I’m going to get you!” and kissing a bare belly—to get your child giggling. Once they pass the half-year mark, though, his sense of humor becomes more sophisticated,“ says Dr. Wilkins.

By 9 or 10 months, unexpected things will crack a baby up—an older sibling walking like a duck, for instance,” adds Dr. Wilkins. You can encourage this adorable phase by messing with their expectations: Act like the family pet, put their teddy bear on your head, or sing “Ring Around the Rosy” and actually fall down. By laughing with them, you’ll build their budding social skills.

Related: What To Know About When Babies Start Smiling

Responding to sounds: 4 to 5 months

Your baby recognized your voice while they were still in utero, but around 4 months old they’ll actively squirm and try to move toward you when you speak, says David L. Hill, MD, assistant professor of pediatrics at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine, in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. “At this age, pathways in the brain’s hearing centers allow your baby to determine where sound is coming from, and she’ll start turning toward a familiar voice.”

In general, infants prefer high-pitched voices with varying sounds (often female voices), at first. Research shows that infants prefer singing and "happy-sounding" speech to neutral speech. To help communicate, get close and use old-fashioned baby talk. “The singsong, exaggerated voice helps infants learn to understand words and expressions,” explains Dr. Hill. Even when they don’t seem to be listening, their brain is absorbing what you say.

Playing copycat: 6 to 8 months

A smile is usually the first “face” an infant makes, at around 6 weeks, but by 8 months they can imitate you blowing raspberries or make a little “O” with their mouth. “Around this time, babies can even begin to match their parents’ look of fear, surprise, or sadness,” says Dr. Hill. So if you look cheerful, chances are your child will smile and laugh. In fact, studies show that babies of depressed or withdrawn parents don’t interact as much, he adds.

Related: Your Baby's Fine Motor Skill Development

Babbling up a storm: 6 to 10 months

Your baby’s vocalizations are a key stage in learning to talk. “Babbling represents the building blocks of language,” says Rahil D. Briggs, PsyD, an infant-toddler specialist at The Children’s Hospital at Montefiore, in New York City. “It shows that an infant is developing more control over making sounds and communicating.”

As the first year progresses, babbling becomes more sophisticated (from ah ah ah to ba ba ba) and begins to resemble real speech, with little pauses and inflections. Support your baby by having lots of chatty conversations, even if you’re not speaking the exact same language. Try asking them a question, waiting for a response, and making another comment. This gives them a grasp of conversation, which creates a blueprint for future language development.

Related: Baby Development: 8-12 Month Milestones

Toddler Milestones

In the whirlwind of toddler behavior, many exciting changes are taking place!

Unpacking adjectives: 18 to 24 months

When kids start speaking, sometime around their first birthday, it’s one word at a time: “Mama.” “Dog.” “Truck.” But as their vocabulary increases, they get more descriptive and say “big red truck” or “furry white dog.”

“They’re not only seeing the object, but they also start to get an awareness of what makes similar objects different from one another,” says Michelle Maidenberg, PhD, a psychotherapist in Harrison, New York. Using descriptive words when you’re talking to your child will help to gradually build their vocabulary.

Related: Out of the Mouths of Babes: Funny First Words

Ditching the diaper: 18 to 24 months

Okay, ripping off their diaper may not be a magic moment you want to record in the baby book, but it’s a common scenario since most kids love to go commando. “First of all, it’s fun. A toddler can achieve this pretty easily by herself and enjoys the end result, which is being free and naked,” says Dr. Kirby Wilkins. In cognitive terms, a child who keeps stripping is learning cause and effect.

They lose the diaper; you sprint after them—what’s not to love? On the plus side of this sometimes annoying milestone: It might mean that your little sweetie is so offended by wet or soiled diapers that they're ready for potty training.

Related: The Best Potty Training Tips

Caring for others: 2 to 3 years

It’s one of the sweetest images of childhood: Your kid comforting a sobbing playmate, patting them on the back, and telling them it’s okay. Around age 3, children begin truly playing together and tuning into each other's feelings. Kids this age begin to show altruistic feelings, says Michele Saysana, MD, medical director of quality and safety at Riley Hospital for Children at Indiana University Health, in Indianapolis.

Dr. Saysana says you can nurture such sensitivity by modeling it: Show empathy for your child and others when they're distressed (“I know it hurts. It’s not fun to fall down”) and talk about other children’s emotions (“That little kid looks sad—shall we try to cheer them up?”). Another way to help is to read literature like Berenstain Bears and Franklin the Turtle books, which model compassion and appreciation.

Taking it one step at a time: 2½ to 3 years

Suddenly, you notice that your child is walking up stairs more or less the way you do: right foot, left foot, right foot. That’s significant, explains Dr. Kirby Wilkins, because it shows that their gross motor skills are taking a giant leap forward. “His balance is improving dramatically and the coordination between the upper and lower body is becoming more efficient,” she says.

For you, that means an easier time navigating long stairways when you’re out and about with your toddler. Work on their newfound sense of balance even when you’re not doing steps. Challenge them to try bouncing up and down on one foot, or walking with alternating feet on a painted line at the playground or on a low curb in your neighborhood.

Preschooler Milestones

While the pace of acquiring new skills slows down a bit as kids reach preschool age, they are still reaching many new milestones.

Recalling past events: 3 to 4 years

Your child’s memories are mostly associated with strong emotions, both good and bad (spending holidays at a grandparent’s house, getting nipped by a dog). “The ability to talk about the past means she’s learning to sequence events and store memories, which are both important for active learning later,” says Michelle Hintz, PsyD, a psychologist at the Cadenza Center for Psychotherapy and the Arts, in Hollywood, Florida.

Granted, your kid will usually be fuzzy on the details, including when things really happened. “Initially, all past events are lumped into the ‘yesterday’ category,” explains Dr. Hintz. Help boost their memories by adding comments and filling in extra details (“That’s right, sweetie, we did go to Grandma’s for Thanksgiving. Remember how you helped set the table?”). Looking at mementos (photos, drawings, crafts) together and talking about them also helps solidify their memories.

Telling little lies: 3 to 5 years

Of course, you don’t want to encourage lying, but the ability to tell a fib shows that your child has reached a new level of reasoning power, points out Dr. Hintz: “He recognizes he can potentially alter the outcome of events through his words.”

Most early lies are told to avoid getting into trouble, along the lines of “I didn’t eat the cookie” or “They hit me first!” Don’t overreact, and avoid giving a lecture. “Preschoolers respond more to actions than to reasoning,” says Dr. Hill. “So explain that lies are not acceptable, and include an appropriate consequence, like a time-out or losing a privilege or a toy.”

Related: 10 Discipline Mistakes You're Probably Making

Clapping out a rhythm: around 4 years

Your child will begin to clap automatically to their favorite Justin Roberts song and they are right with the rhythm. That’s a major accomplishment, says Dr. Saysana. “Clapping on the beat means that she’s able to concentrate, stay on task, and learn a pattern,” she explains. It also shows that they have good coordination.

Research is clear that listening to music promotes learning and child development—not to mention joy, too. Expose your preschooler to all types of music, which will help them recognize patterns, an important building block for math and language. (If you can stand the noise, give them percussion instruments such as maracas, tambourines, and bongos to play with.)

Getting decked out: 3 to 5 years

Your child loves to feel independent by getting dressed without your help. “To put on clothes, kids need well-developed motor skills and a good sense of balance,” explains Dr. Saysana. At 3, most children can start pulling on stretchy pants and tops by themselves, but not much more. “Snaps, buttons, and zippers require fine motor skills that your child probably won’t develop until at least age 4,” explains Dr. Saysana. So buy some simple pull-on outfits and remember to have patience when they insist, “I want to do it!”

Key Takeaways

Whether you notice it or not, your child is always learning and changing. Amazingly, they're likely reaching milestones without you even knowing. From verbal and social skills to fine motor development, once you know what to look for, you'll better appreciate (and encourage) the cool new things your baby, toddler, or preschooler is doing.

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