11 wedding budget and stress-saving tips, from planners who’ve seen it all

Paid for by Capital One

"Will you marry me?" is likely the first of many, many questions in the next phase of your relationship. Next up, and (almost) just as crucial: Where will we get married? Who do we invite? What do we eat? And of course, nearly every answer comes with a price tag. So how do you figure out what works best for your bond and your budget?

Top wedding planners who have orchestrated events all over the world share the insider tips they use to plan microweddings, lavish celebrations and everything in between. Steal their secrets, and get inspired to plan a wedding that’s unique, fun, memorable and affordable.

1. Know who’s paying for what.

Whether you're footing the bill on your own or getting help from family, talk through ballpark budgets before you tour a venue or sample a slice of cake. Having a budget in mind first can help you avoid issues later, says Victoria Lartey-Williams, owner of Victorious Events NYC.

Jove Meyer, founder of Jove Meyer Events, concurs. “I think it's important to be very honest and upfront about the resources you have for your celebration. And if your resources are low, and your expectations are high, then you have to make some difficult decisions to meet in the middle."

Equally important: If your family is contributing, know how the bills will be paid. Will someone provide you with a lump sum, or do they want to pay certain vendors directly? And before you accept a check, make sure you know whether any strings may be attached. There may be unspoken expectations that a check comes with venue-veto power, for example. Knowing everything up front will help keep everyone on the same page, Vanda High Events owner Vanda Kolodziejczak-High says.

2. Create a budgeting system.

If you don’t already have one, a joint checking account can be ideal for wedding expenses. Consider a Capital One 360 Checking account, for example. It has no fees and no minimums, and you have access to more than 70,000 fee-free ATMs in places where you already shop. Plus, you can use 360 Checking to track your expenses leading up to the big day — and to deposit any cash and checks you receive as wedding gifts afterward.

And there may be advantages to paying vendors via cash or check. “Some vendors may give a cash discount if you can pay in full, rather than put the service on a card," wedding planner José Rolón, owner of José Rolón Events says. This discount may be offered so your vendor can avoid credit card processing fees. It's worth it to ask your vendor if they offer cash discounts when you get pricing from them.

Another tip from the pros: Figure out a way to track expenses as they happen. Sometimes, people use a shareable spreadsheet, but there are wedding-specific apps that can help make tracking expenses easy, especially if family is also contributing. With 360 Checking, you can use an app to track spending, view account activity and get alerts whenever a vendor payment has posted.

3. Look beyond the wedding.

No matter your budget, your wedding is likely just one day in a relationship full of milestones. As you discuss numbers for the wedding, Meyer advises clients to talk about their other financial goals and plans. Where do you want to live? Do you want to start a family? What are some of your goals as a couple? Talking through life goals can put the wedding in perspective, and help ensure your budgets stay on track.

Added bonus: These conversations also help you determine how your money styles mesh as a couple. Learning how to compromise and work together now may make future budget conversations easier to navigate. After all, years later, you may not remember exactly what appetizers you agreed on, but the skills you developed in reaching a canapé consensus will likely last forever.

4. Create a vision board.

Some couples have a precise vision for their wedding. Others feel like a deer in headlights when asked to share their favorite color or menu item. To figure out your signature look, start with what surrounds you everyday, Rólon advises. What are your favorite destinations, restaurants and movies? What are your top memories as a couple? Creating a long list of your likes can help you clue into some common threads that guide your taste as a couple, which can then help you assess vendors and venues more easily.

5. Get your guest list in a good place early.

Wedding planners agree: A smaller guest list is usually the easiest way to control your budget. If you want a blowout bash with hundreds of guests, then you might need to trim expenses elsewhere, says Chandai Raghunauth, owner of Chandai Events. This may be accomplished by simplifying your menu or limiting additional events, such as a post-wedding brunch. And know your numbers: Having a rough draft of your guest list prior to touring venues can help you estimate costs and assess which venue is right for your needs.

6. Untraditional isn’t necessarily code for inexpensive.

A field or a backyard is less expensive than a country club or ballroom, right? Not necessarily, says Jesse Reing, owner of Events by Jesse. “You need to factor in tent rentals, chair rentals, electricity hookups, and all of [those elements] add up,” she says.

Consider looking at sites that have experience with large-scale events, which may end up being easier and less expensive to set up than an untraditional location — and remember that even those untapped areas will likely need permits. Another option: Venues like a community hall or space rented from a library or school. You'll have a blank-ish slate, but will also have necessary features like power outlets and bathrooms to streamline setup.

7. Think beyond a Saturday evening wedding.

Thursday, late afternoon? Sunday brunch? Veer off prime time (weekend evenings) and Reing says venues and caterers may be willing to negotiate. “If you’re willing to do a Thursday or a Monday, especially a holiday Monday, you can get some really, really good negotiated prices on the venues and the catering," she notes.

The same applies for timing: A brunch or lunch event is likely less expensive than a seated dinner. But because your guests may need to plan days off if you're having your reception during an "untraditional" time, consider giving yourselves an extra-long lead time when you send out invitations. Heart set on a Saturday evening soiree? Save the date, but save money by considering a less-traditional menu or trimming the guest list.

8. Buy your beverages in bulk, rather than through the catering company.

Ask if a venue will let you stock your own alcohol. This way, you can choose the price point of wines and spirits, which you can then buy in bulk, Reing says. You'll still likely need to hire professional bartenders to serve and mix drinks, but lowering the alcohol budget can lower the overall price tag of the reception. And, rather than a full bar, consider having just one or two signature cocktails, as well as beer, wine and soft drinks for your guests. Depending on the timing of your wedding, alcohol may not even be necessary. For example, a brunch event could have a cappuccino-and-coffee bar in lieu of traditional drinks.

9. Know the ways a planner can pay off.

While wedding planners have many reasons they’d love it if you used their services, there are a few reasons when it could make financial sense to hire one. For one, they may have access to lower vendor rates through their connections and contacts. They can also look at your plan and spotlight ways to save based on their experience.

While a traditional planner works with couples from soon after their engagement up until their big day, one way to lower the expense of a planner is to hire someone who specializes in managing the day-of coordination.

“A day-of planner will begin working with you about a month in advance, helping you coordinate your wedding timeline for the day of your wedding and providing support that day,” explains Joanna Fertig, founder of The Day Of Company. They’ll be the point of contact between all your vendors so you can focus on your wedding — not when the flowers are arriving or why the bartender went MIA.

10. Figure out the OK-to-skip items.

From favors to flowers, there are some wedding extras that aren’t essential, says Björn VW, owner of BjörnVW Events. And once you know what’s a must-have, it’s easier to drop the nonessentials. “It's always good to know what you want to spend your money on, because that'll make it so much easier so that you can say, 'OK, I don't need to have wedding favors.'”

Candles and votives can be good substitutes for flower centerpieces. And digital invitations can be great, depending on your audience. One smart suggestion: Consider only ordering a few paper invitations, and send those to people who would likely want to save them for posterity, such as your relatives. You can send digital invites to the majority of your guests.

11. Get real about gifts.

What do you really need? If it’s money, consider a registry that allows cash gifts as an option. “Be totally honest and say, ‘Listen, we’re planning to buy a home. We appreciate anything that you might want to give us, but this is the goal that we're trying to reach towards,’” Reing says.

Some online platforms allow you to list a range of experiences on your registry, from scuba diving on your honeymoon to sponsoring part of the landscaping project you want to dig into in your new home. For many couples, this setup feels more personal than simply asking for cash. Reing adds that this way, "guests can feel like they are contributing to an actual item, as opposed to just giving something that may feel impersonal to them.”

And one thing all planners stress: Have fun. Wedding planning is a process, but it can be one that's enjoyable, fun and creates memories you'll both look back on fondly. So enjoy the journey — even the stressful parts. Oh, and eat all the cake samples.

From Capital One:

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This article is not intended as financial or legal advice. For specific advice for your unique circumstances, you should consult a qualified professional.

This article was paid for by Capital One and created by Yahoo Creative Studios. The Yahoo Life editorial staff did not participate in the creation of this content.