11 Parenting Secrets to Steal From Moms With Big Families
Think it's hard getting your two kids up and out the door each day? OK, it totally is. But these women all have six or more kids — so they've certainly learned a thing or too along the way. Check out their tricks and try them with your family — whatever its size.
1. Divert the bickering.
Siblings are going to bicker — it's basically part of their job description. But there some clever tactics you can use to actually make it stop. "My favorite way to solve this problem is to assign them a job, which they have to complete together, like unloading the dishwasher or cooperating to clean up a room," says Sandy Christensen, who writes about life with her 12 children at Twelve Makes a Dozen. "If they just can't get along and work together, they know that they will be separated and each assigned a much harder job, which they have to complete alone. That gives them a real incentive to solve their differences."
2. Make charts for everything.
Regulate anything that causes stress or chaos, says Amy Roberts, mother of nine and blogger at Raising Arrows. "For us, this means van seating charts, meal seating charts, table chore charts, cleaning assignments, laundry day schedules, bath nights, and a plethora of other charts and lists. Anything I can do to eliminate one more decision, one more problem, or one more argument from my day, is well worth my time." The charts and lists drastically cut down on the whining and fighting, she says. Wasn't that bare wall just asking for a huge white board anyway?
3. Assign everyone a color.
All nine children in Lisa Pennington's house have been assigned a color — and it helps mom keep everything straight without even trying. Each child uses their color for plates, bowls, cups, towels, sheets, backpacks, and anything else that comes along. "It helps me to know which plate to put the gluten-free food on, who left their towel on the floor, and who isn't drinking their water," says the author of Mama Needs a Do-Over and blogger at The Pennington Point.
4. Label everyone's clothes (and update hand-me-downs in a flash!).
When children are close in age, it can be difficult to identify which jeans or T-shirts belong to which kid. "We use a dot system to help," says Michelle Krynicki, who blogs about her 10 kids at My Blessed Home. "With a Sharpie marker, I draw a certain number of dots to mark my children's clothes. The oldest boy or girl gets one dot, the second gets two, the third gets three, etc. When I pass down clothes from one child to the next, I just have to add a dot!
5. Stoop to kids' level (literally) when assigning chores.
"Teaching children to be self-sufficient is not only good for them as they grow into responsible adults, but it helps tremendously in managing a large family," says Kelly Crawford, mother of a soon-to-be-family of 11 and blogger at Generation Cedar. "We put our plates in a low cabinet, so the younger kids can help unload the dishwasher. We have silverware in a similarly convenient spot, and we've installed low closet bars so they can hang up their own clothes."
6. Throw out the rules when sorting laundry.
Separating by color is standard, but let's face it — it adds an extra step that just creates more work later. "I separate our family clothing by item: pants, shirts, sock and underwear, and towels," says Renee Bergeron mother of 14 and writer of Little Earthling Blog. "It makes folding go so much faster. I can fold a full load of pants in the less than five minutes. Same for towels or shirts. Once the laundry is folded, it goes into a basket and each child puts their own laundry away."
7. Schedule quiet time.
Quiet time is mandatory in Renee Harris' house. "The younger ones sleep, older ones can read or listen to their audio devices and mom gets a break," says the pregnant mother of eight. "This lasts anywhere between an hour to up to two hours (on days when we're out of the house and need to come home and unwind)."
8. …and Buddy Nights.
Don't let anyone get lost in the shuffle. "While we love to spend time together as a group, we strive to find ways to spend one-on-one time as well," says Krynicki. And she doesn't count errands as quality time. "We set aside one night a week for Buddy Night, during which my husband and I take turns taking a child out for fun. This week, I took my 6-year-old out for dessert, and next week will be my husband's turn to take our 4-year-old out." If they can't get out during the week, sometimes they'll wait until Saturday mornings and do a special breakfast instead.
9. Cook for the week with the help of a slow cooker.
Meal planning is key for families of any size. "I like to cook a bunch of chicken breasts in a crock-pot, shred it and use it for two or three meals during the week," says Cheryl Bohonyi, a mom of six. "It offers so many options, especially if you have some picky eaters." For example, one of her kids loves buffalo sauce, one loves barbecue, and a few prefer it plain, so she'll let everyone make personalized sandwiches. Other times, she'll use the chicken for salads, tacos, or on top of a bed of rice. "I generally spend less than 30 minutes preparing dinner."
10. Set the timer for cleaning up.
Harris finds that a lot can get done when everyone pitches in during 15-minute intervals. "All the shoes get lined up near the door, toys and clutter are put away, trash is taken out and the counters get wiped down," she says. She sets a timer, everyone pitches in and, within minutes, the space is clean and livable.
11. Invest in some heavy-duty storage.
Lockers are a life-saver for a large family, according to Crawford. "Anything I find floating around the house gets tossed into the centrally located child's locker. Out of my sight, out of my mind, and now it's their responsibility to handle."
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