11 Beauty Lessons I Learned From My Makeup Artist Mom

Anyone who knows me knows the significance that makeup carries in my life. Makeup helps me investigate my constantly-shifting identity; it offers me confidence when I find it lacking; it allows me to unapologetically embrace my womanhood and exalt my beauty.

I was raised by a master of the trade—my mother, a professional makeup artist, conducted her cosmetic wizardry in my home for years. When I was little, I watched her work with awe: her meticulousness when she prepared her supplies on folded tissues; her focus when she primed a face for application; and that perfection she somehow always—and I mean always—achieved, outlining lips or shadowing eyelids. It was mesmerizing, and I studied it like a hawk.

Throughout the years, she’s taught me a number of valuable lessons about makeup, not just practical makeup tips about application, but about what makeup does, and what beauty is. My mother is one of the deepest, most compassionate, most humble women I know and somehow, her philosophies around makeup work in tandem with her character. Through her lessons, I’ve come to understand why she’s based her life around cosmetology. Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned from her, and exercise pretty much every day of my life.

1. Makeup should enhance, not cover up.

Probably one of the most salient lessons my mom taught me about makeup is that it should complement your features, not create new ones. For example, I’ve always been self-conscious about my nose bump: that distinctive anthill on the bridge of my nose that I’ve always thought made me look slightly bird-like. When I reached out to my mother with this insecurity, she taught me how to work with this characteristic feature of mine: to “lower” the bump with darker shades, and highlight the more elevated parts of my face with lighter tones. But this trick didn’t obscure my bump. Instead, it allowed me to play with it: enhance the features that I loved, and work with the features I loved a little less.

2. Anchor your elbow to achieve a straighter cat-eye.

Anyone who knows me knows that my “go-to” aesthetic is the bold cat-eye. My mom’s famous trick to achieve that clean wing? Lean your elbow against a straight surface, and lightly rest your cheek against your palm. In that way, your hand doesn’t shake when drawing that line. Remember to use a light hand with your liner; too much pressure will make it easier to smudge!

3. You can be head-over-heels in love with makeup and still embrace a bare face.

My mother is a stunning woman. One thing I absolutely adore about my mom is that despite her romance with cosmetics, she can still rock makeup-less Mondays. She’s taught me that I don’t need makeup to be beautiful: I’m gorgeous with my characteristic cat-eye, and I’m just as gorgeous without.

4. ALWAYS remember to blend at the chin.

You know that really prominent line you see at your chin when you forget to blend your foundation? Yeah, me too. Remembering to blend has always been one of my biggest problems—and luckily, my mom is always quick to remind me about it. A useful tip is to not only smudge the foundation at the chin, but blend down your neck, too. Also, by applying your blush across your chin and down the sides of your neck, you’ll help smooth the appearance of your foundation.

5. Your lifestyle can affect the health of your skin.

My mother taught me that your skin is the largest organ of your body, so it makes sense that your habits will influence its health. She reminds me to take care of myself—body, mind, and soul—and my complexion will thank me for it.

6. Remember to remove your makeup before bed.

Coming home after a long day at work (or a crazy evening at the bar), sometimes all you want to do is plop into bed and worry about everything else in the morning. But my mom has taught me the importance of always removing makeup before hitting the hay. Sleeping in foundation can mess with your skin; all of the dirt and dead cells that have accumulated throughout the day clog up your pores, leading to inflammation and breakouts. That’s why I always follow her advice to use a makeup remover, cleanse thoroughly, and remember to moisturize afterwards.

Related: Sorry, Makeup Remover Wipes Are Not as Good as Washing Your Face

7. Swap out your eye makeup regularly.

Remember how I said my favorite look is the bold cat-eye? That means I use a lot of eyeliner. My mom always reminds me to renew my eye makeup often—theoretically, every two to three weeks. Eye makeup can be like a petri-dish for bacteria, and using old eyeliner (or mascara can cause irritation and infection. Pro-tip: If it’s dried out, or starts to smell funky, it’s probably time to swap.

8. For a daytime look, accentuate either your lips or your eyes (not both).

It’s no secret I love my bold cat-eye and my burgundy matte lipstick. But, when shooting for a casual daytime look, my mom suggests opting for either one or the other. Both “bolds” are beautiful (and if that’s your look, go for it!), but to achieve a more subtle aesthetic, focus on one feature to accentuate. That way, you celebrate that feature, not the makeup you used to adorn it. My mom’s rule of thumb: “Bold eyes, light lips, or vice versa.”

9. Brushes are wonderful, but you can use your fingers and still get great results.

When on the run, my mom doesn’t always carry all her brushes and sponges—and she still applies her makeup perfectly. So, yes, you can achieve a smooth eyeshadow, sans the supplies. The trick is to use dry fingers, and a light hand. Dab your middle finger gently in your shadow, and dab just as gently at the crease of your eyelid. Use a clean finger to blend across the lid.

10. Keep sample-size supplies for touch-ups in your purse.

My mama’s a busy woman, but she never fails to touch up her makeup on the run. She always keeps a little makeup baggie in her purse filled with sample-sizes of the essentials: her lipstick, her eyeliner, her mascara, and her blush. It’s compact, it’s portable, and it’s always with her. And the world wonders how she looks so stunning all the time.

11. Your makeup should be for YOU.

Even if that means unorthodox. Even if that means “out of your color palette.” Even if that means gaudy, rainbow-gradient eyeshadow (which I owned for pretty much all of sophomore year in highschool). And yes, even if that means no makeup at all. One of the most invaluable makeup lessons that I learned from my mom, one always at the forefront of my mind, is that my style is for me and me alone. I wear what makes me feel beautiful, what makes me shine, what helps me emphasize the beauty that’s already there. Because that’s what makeup does, really, and that’s why my mom has based her profession around its practice: It excavates inner beauty. It reveals your beauty to you, and helps teach you that you were always beautiful, even before you ever wore makeup. And I’ll always be grateful to my mother for imparting that lesson to me.