100 Howl-arious Halloween Jokes That'll Make Kids and Adults Cackle with Laughter

Halloween is just around the corner, and one of the best ways to get prepared for Halloween festivities and get into the holiday spirit is by sharing funny Halloween jokes with your family and friends!

From corny Halloween jokes that are so ghastly they're great to Halloween jokes for kids that'll help make the days leading up to October 31 more fun, this list of 100 funny Halloween jokes incorporates all of your favorite Halloween-themed icons, such as witches, skeletons, ghosts and werewolves.

Whether you're into cheesy jokes about vampires not liking Taylor Swift's "bad blood" or prefer jokes for kids that are all about puns and wordplay, these funny Halloween jokes are guaranteed to make you—and anyone you share them with—cackle with laughter.

Related: Best Halloween Activities and Traditions

Halloween Jokes for Kids

1. How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.

2. Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life.

3. The skeleton couldn't help being afraid of the storm—he just didn't have any guts.

4. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

5. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? Spooktacles.

6. What can you catch from a vampire in winter? Frostbite.

7. What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!

8. Knock, Knock…
Who's there?
Phillip!
Phillip who?
Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!

9. Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had no body to go with.

10. Who did the scary ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up!

Related: 75 Halloween Puns

11. What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Rice Creepies.

12. What’s it like being kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.

13. Where do ghosts go on holidays? The Boohamas.

14. What sound do witches make when they eat cereal? Snap, Cackle & Pop!

Related: Best Disney Halloween Movies

15. What did one ghost say to the other? Get a life!

16. Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques.

17. How do you know vampires love baseball? They turn into bats every night.

18. Knock, Knock…
Who's there?
Witch!
Witch who?
Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?

Related: 100 Halloween Quotes

19. Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation? The Dead Sea!

20. The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.

21. Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? Because a dog was after his bones!

22. What do skeletons fly around in? A scareplane or a skelecopter.

23. What did the fisherman say on Halloween? Trick or trout.

24. What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.

25. Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry! I didn't mean to scare you.

26. Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies? Because you can see right through them.

27. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare.

28. What did the bird say on Halloween? Twick or tweet.

Related: Halloween Trivia

29. What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street? Buckle your sheet belt!

30. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Howl!
Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door!

31. What do you call two witches sharing an apartment? Broommates.

32. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.

33. What goes "Ha-ha-ha-ha!" right before a gigantic sounding crash and then keeps laughing? A monster laughing its head off!

34. What's a skeleton's favorite instrument? A sax-a-bone.

35. Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.

Funny Halloween Jokes

36. How do ghosts search the Web? They use ghoul-gle.

37. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!

38. Wanna know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

39. How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? You use a pumpkin patch!

Related: Christmas Jokes

40. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Cement.
Cement who?
Cement to scream when she saw Dracula but she fainted instead!

41. Why didn't the zombie go to school? He felt rotten!

42. What has hundreds of ears but can't hear a thing? A cornfield!

43. The skeleton canceled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart wasn't in it.

44. What type of plates do skeletons like to use? Bone china.

45. What goes around a haunted house and never stops? A fence.

46. What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue? Let’s stop in for a cool one!

47. What is a vampire’s pet peeve? A Tourniquet!

48. Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees? They're LUMBARjacks!

49. Where do ghosts like to trick-or-treat? Dead ends.

50. The skeleton decided to bone up on the facts for the big exam.

51. Who do monsters buy cookies from? Ghoul scouts.

52. Knock, Knock…
Who's there?
Ben!
Ben who?
Ben waiting to get candy all day!

53. How does a vampire enter his house? Through the bat flap!

54. Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story? Because there are so many plots there!

55. Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles? Because they just had their brains scooped out!

56. Why are there fences around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.

57. What happened to the man who didn't pay his exorcist? The house was repossessed.

58. What did the girl horse dress up as for Halloween? A night mare.

59. What Halloween candy should you give trick-or-treaters if you want them to think you're rich? A 100 grand candy bar

60. What do demons eat for breakfast? Deviled eggs.

61. What's the best way to get rid of a demon? Exorcise a lot.

62. Why did the werewolf go to the dressing room when he saw the full moon? He needed to change.

63. Where is the best place to party on Halloween? The g-RAVE-yard.

64. Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep? Because of his coffin.

65. What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.

66. Why did the baby wrap itself in white cloth strips? It was just trying to be just like its mummy.

67. Why do ghosts like to hang out at bars? Because all of the Boos.

68. What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us.

69. Why do ghosts hate when it rains on Halloween?It dampens their spirits.

70. Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.

Related: 20 Spooky (But Not So Spooky) Halloween Movies for Kids That You Can Watch Now on Netflix

Halloween Dad Jokes

71. Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders? Because they have spirit.

72. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.

73. What kind of monster is the best dancer? The boogieman.

74. What is a witch’s favorite class? Spelling!

75. What do you call a chicken that haunts your house? A poultrygeist.

76. Why do ghosts love going to Six Flaggs? Because they can ride lots of roller-GHOST-ers.

77. How do monsters like their eggs? Terror-fried.

Related: Heidi Klum Halloween Costumes, Ranked

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78. Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? Because it was grounded.

79. Who are the werewolf's cousins? The what-wolf and then when-wolf.

80. Why didn't the mummy have any friends? He was too wrapped up in himself.

81. Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? Because she had bad blood.

82. What is a ghost’s favorite meal? Spook-ghetti.

83. What do witches use on their hair? Scare-spray.

84. Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

85. The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it? A coffin.

86. What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.

87. Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? Because he has a Hallo-weenie.

88. What do female ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing Cream!

89. Every Sunday, the skeleton plays his organ for the congregation.

90. The favored historical ruler of skeletons is none other than Napoleon Bone-a-part.

91. How do vampires start their letters? "Tomb it may concern..."

Related: Best Halloween Movies of All Time

92. What is a recess at a mortuary called? A Coffin Break!

93. The skeleton knew what would happen next—he could just feel it in his bones.

94. Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.

95. How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night? Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!

96. The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.

Related: 12 Kid-Friendly Halloween Movies on Amazon 

97. Why are all of Superman's costumes tight? They’re all size S.

98. I wanted to tell a skeleton pun, but I don't have the guts for it.

99. What is it called when Dracula rearranges his furniture with his teeth? Fang-shui.

100. Did you hear about the chopper that crashed in the cemetery? Search and rescue workers have recovered 100 bodies and expect that number to climb as digging continues.

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