10 Ways to Make Your Relationship Happier Right Now
(Photo: Arthur Belebeau)
Even the best relationship—even mine, for which I am so grateful—can use an extra happiness boost from time to time. And wouldn’t it be nice if that boost, like an addictive smoothie, took about as long to take effect as it does for that berry- and flaxseed-filled drink to put a little extra pep in your step? Turns out, making your relationship happier, right now, can be just that easy, with benefits that are nearly instantaneous. Here’s how.
1. Whisper. You can turn any ol’ conversation into something extra special by lowering your voice and even dimming the lights. Why? Because when you talk at barely-audible levels, it’s like you and your guy are sharing a secret—even if it’s just about a crazy acrobatic move the cat pulled midday—and that is super bonding.
2. Share a memory. Pull one from your first date or the honeymoon phase, and mull over the details together. Chatting about how you thought ordering a pineapple beer was a good idea—spoiler alert: it’s not—or how insanely lucky you were to spot him, and he you, in a thousand-plus-people crowd and hit it off, makes you as happy now as the memory did in the moment.
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3. Compliment him. Science has spoken, and the happiest couples are those who dish out niceties to each other on the daily. You don’t have to rock his world with life-changing affirmations, but if you can take the time to compliment how handsome he looks as he buttons up his shirt, or how catching a glimpse of him naked still makes your heart beat a little faster, you’ll both be smiling in seconds. And he’ll be sure to pay the compliment forward, to you, I promise!
4. Cuddle. If your sleep styles clash, that’s OK. Just take a few minutes each morning, during a Netflix binge session, or before bedtime to wrap up in each other’s arms. Just like hugging, cuddling releases feel-good endorphins that will bring you closer—literally and figuratively.
5. Cook breakfast. And serve it up to him in bed. My guy did this for me recently, and not only did those yummy eggs, fruit, and toast start my day off nutritionally right, but the gesture brought a lasting smile to my face.
6. Initiate sex. When you get down, your body releases oxytocin, the “love” hormone. But more than that, taking control is hot for him and you. He’ll feel like you can’t resist him, while you get to direct the action. How could that not make you both happy from the second your lips lock?
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7. Surprise him. Stock his fridge with his favorite Dortmunder. Sign him up for a subscription to his favorite magazine—and let it come in the mail without telling him you ordered it. Slip into lingerie before you slip between the sheets. Whatever it is, a surprise will make your man feel appreciated, and seeing his smile will make your heart happy, stat.
8. Give a massage. We’ve told you how, so get to work rubbing him down and asking for one in return! You’ll relieve each other of stress and open the door for some oxytocin-releasing intimate action.
9. Play a game. Better yet? Teach each other a new one. If you’re a rummy champion, but he’s never learned the card game, deal out the cards and take him through step by step. Learning something together is bonding, and the laughter you’ll share as you get a little competitive will have lasting happiness effects.
10. Dance. Take the corny, made-for-movies twirl around the kitchen, or show everyone in the club just how it’s done under the disco ball. There’s something about being cheek-to-cheek (or, let’s be honest, having other body parts pushed together) and not caring how goofy you look that makes you feel oh so good.
What else can we do to instantly boost the happiness we feel in relationships?
By Jillian Kramer
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