10 Things Your Kids Do That You Think Are Adorable but Actually Drive People Crazy
Kids say and do the darndest things. But we hate to break it to you, some of your spawn’s antics are less adorable than you think. Here’s an incomplete list of just a few of the things children do that parents think are irresistibly cute…and everyone else finds seriously annoying.
1. When you’re holding up the line during the AM Starbucks rush because you thought it would be cute for your 18-month-old to place the chocolate croissant order… and hand the money over, too.
Your kid is smearing their fingerprints all over the pastry case and making a whole bunch of people late for work while they’re at it. Also, no barista should have to suffer the indignity of accepting crumpled up bills from the grubby hands of a nose-picking toddler.
2. When you let your kid hold the door for other adults…because aren’t they so grown-up and considerate?
It’s a nice gesture, but let’s be honest—your 5-year-old is weak, in the way and wasting 30 precious seconds of a capable adult’s life.
3. When they pick flowers from someone’s front lawn just to tell you they love you.
This loving impulse just destroyed the tulip garden your neighbor Judy painstakingly planted months ago.
4. When they terrorize pedestrians because they’re showing you how they can reach breakneck speeds on a scooter.
Tell your kid not to practice his “super cat speed” on the sidewalk, or else purchase an insurance policy to cover the liability.
5. When your friend comes to visit and she’s forced to go to your 3-year-old’s hair salon.
Your college bestie is a good sport and feels obligated to play along, but the truth is that nobody enjoys having little hands attack their head and mess up their ‘do.
6. When your first grader makes everyone listen to him count to 1,000.
If you don’t cut him off after 30, you can count us out.
7. When you suggest your daughter treat dinner guests to a taste of her musical talent with an a cappella performance that features every single song from the ‘Encanto’ soundtrack.
Somebody get the hook.
8. When your animal-loving child stops to obsess over every dog she encounters on your walk to the playground.
The total stranger walking that dog was ready to move on with their day the second the forced social interaction began.
9. When your little know-it-all starts correcting somebody’s dinosaur knowledge.
No one cares that it’s actually a brachiosaurus, Jimmy. And stop trying to teach people words you can’t even spell.
10. When your 7-year-old is sharing her plans to go as RBG for Halloween.
We smell twee virtue signaling (and we know who’s really behind it).
5 Bad Behaviors You’re Actually Encouraging in Your Kids...and How to Stop Them for Good
