How to Know If Your Significant Other Is Your Soulmate

·10 min read

Love is powerful. There’s a reason why there are hundreds of movies and songs dedicated to the emotion, and why we swoon over power couples like Zendaya and Tom Holland and Lana Condor and Anthony De La Torre. It’s an amazing feeling to be so happy and so comfortable with a person, especially when those feelings are reciprocated. Date nights, big and small, are always a special occasion, and being with your person simply feels like home. But, how do you know if your significant other is the one? In other words, how do you know if they’re... your soulmate? While many people don’t believe in “soulmates,” it is nice to think that there is someone out there (or a few people even) meant for you.

“I believe that soulmates aren’t born, they’re created, meaning that you can spend the rest of your life with one person and have a deep and beautiful love story, but that process is co-created. [It is] not a Prince Charming who arrives perfectly ready to sweep you off your feet,” says Dr. Christie Kederian, a relationship expert and licensed family and marriage therapist. “They are a person you build an equally fulfilling life with, that isn’t always perfect, but helps you grow more into the person you’re meant to be.”

According to Dr. Kederian, there are different types of soulmates and connections in life, and sometimes, certain family members and friends can feel like platonic soulmates. “Leaning into these relationships and allowing yourself to experience the kind of connection that makes us feel loved, is what makes life beautiful and connected and we have to learn to embrace this unconditional love and connection, with all its difficulties as well as its gifts,” she says.

All in all, soulmates — both romantic and platonic — should make you feel absolutely loved, secure, and wholly understood. You not only feel deeply connected with a romantic soulmate, but a true sense of passion and chemistry. Relationships aren’t always easy, you’re going to experience ups and downs together, and you might not know if your SO is your soulmate. Focus on growing with your partner, Dr. Kederian says, and build your relationship to be as strong and supportive as possible.

Don’t stress too much about whether your SO is your forever partner — relationships are often journeys, especially when you’re still figuring out who you are and what you want in a significant other. But if you’re wondering if your SO is your ideal match, here are 21 soulmate signs that will help you know if you’ve found a true connection.

1. You just know it

There is no test that will help you determine if you've found your soulmate or not. You have to feel in your gut that this person is the right one for you. We know it sounds trite, but when you get that feeling, you’ll know what it means. You should feel energized by their presence, comfortable enough to completely open up, and just giddy with love. Of course, connections manifest themselves in different ways for everyone, and feelings can change over time.

2. They’re your best friend

A friendship is the best foundation for any relationship — why do you think so many rom-coms are about two BFFs who get together? If you are in a trusting, positive friendship with your SO, that's an amazing sign!

3. Being with them feels like home

No matter where you are in the world, being with your soulmate feels like home. There's an unmistakable feeling of comfort and ease when they're by your side. You spend so much time with your significant other, so being with them should make you feel at peace. Of course, there will probably be butterflies and nerves at first, but after you get comfortable with each other, it should just feel natural.

4. You have lots of empathy for them

When they fail a test, you might as well have failed it, because, in a sense, you feel each other's feelings. Seeing them upset upsets you, but conversely, you share in each other's happiness. No one is more proud of their bae than you, and when they succeed, nothing makes you happier.

5. You respect each other

A relationship is nothing without respect so if your SO doesn't admire you for who you are, they're probably not your soulmate. Your soulmate should care about your feelings and ideas, not write them off. They should appreciate and love you and always treat you well.

6. You balance each other out

You don't have to be a replica of your SO to be soulmates. You two can have different temperaments, upbringings, and backgrounds and still be meant for each other. The key is how you two, as very different people, come together. Does your chill nature compliment their anxious demeanor? Does your love for environmentalism match well with their interests in engineering? Basically, are they the ying to your yang?

7. You respect each other’s differences, but agree about the important things

You may never be able to decide what TV show to watch together or what toppings to get on the pizza, but when it comes to the important things in life, like your values, you're on the same page.

8. You share the same life goals

Speaking of the important things... when it comes to life goals, you guys have similar plans. We’re not saying you both want the same career or you want to go to the same college. But you both agree on whether or not you want to start a family, or the values you want to live your lives by. Obviously, there will be disagreements but you guys are on the same page about the big stuff. That's a pretty good predictor for longterm happiness with your SO.

9. You challenge each other

Your soulmate should bring out the best in you, and that means pushing you a little to become the best you can be. Yes, you should admire and respect your bae and who they are, but you should also motivate them to reach their goals, to try a little harder when they need a nudge, and aid with their personal development. Relationships are all about growth and soulmates help each other grow together.

10. You can totally be yourself

There's no faking it when it comes to your soulmate. You can be totally yourself around them and you know they'll love you for you. You share your guilty pleasures, your weird quirks, your deepest secrets, and you know it will just make them love you more.

11. You fight for the relationship

Relationships aren't always easy, even between soulmates, but you two work hard for your relationship. This often means compromising, working on yourself, or talking through issues. You might argue or disagree over something, but you come out of the situation stronger and more understanding of each other. The fact that you two are showing that you're willing to take these steps to work together and fight for each other is a sign you're soulmates.

12. You understand each other’s emotional languages

If you don't know what your love language is, stop right now and take the quiz. Basically, there are five different love languages AKA how you experience love. Maybe, your love language is Words of Affirmation, so it means so much to you when your SO tells you how much they love you. On the other hand, their love language might be Physical Touch, so they like to show their love with cuddles. You can totally be with someone who has a different love language than you, you just need to understand the ways that you both express love and what to expect from each other.

13. You’re each other’s biggest fans

Your SO should be rooting for you constantly and vice versa. Their wins are your wins, meaning when they hear big news, you're just as excited as they are. If just seeing your bae happy makes you happy, that's something special.

14. You feel each other’s pain

On the other hand, when something not so great happens to your SO, you're bummed for them. If they received a bad grade or had an argument with a friend, you feel sad too. You want the best for your bae, so if they get bad news, you feel it just as much.

15. There’s chemistry

Of course, the physical aspect of a relationship is important and with you and your SO, it's definitely there. Sometimes you feel like you can't keep your hands off each other, but you're also very respectful of each other's boundaries.

16. You’re there for each other

Yes, being in a relationship is a lot of fun, but soulmates are there in good times and in bad, meaning when you're going through something tough, you know you can count on your SO to listen and be there with you through it all.

17. You’re secure in the relationship

It's totally normal to get jealous, but you should have 100 percent trust in your person. No one will get in between you two so your SO can go off and hang with friends, maybe go to a party you have to miss, and you don’t worry about the status of your relationship.

18. You just want to be around each other

You don't always feel the need to plan elaborate dates. Simply being around each other is the best. You can sit in silence and feel each other's presence and it lifts you up. In fact, sitting in silence together feels completely comfortable. You don't need to fill it with small talk because it feels totally natural to just be near each other and read a book, scroll TikTok, or journal. There are rarely conversations that feel forced or clumsy.

19. You feel like you’ve known them forever

Whether you've been dating for five months or five years, being with your soulmate feels like you've known them your whole entire life. It oftentimes feels unimaginable that they weren't there for certain events in life, simply because you hadn't met them yet. There's a near instant, effortless connection that's filled with respect, admiration, and love.

20. Sometimes, you feel like you can read their mind

It's easy to communicate with your significant other — so easy that you might even feel like you can read their mind at times. Maybe it's because you're on the same page about upcoming plans, or just know what they're going to say before they say it. You might also just know their facial expressions so well, that you understand how they're feeling without them having to say a word.

21. Your friends and family get along

A good sign that you're with the right person is if your friends and family get along with them well. In most situations, your besties and fam were in your life for longer than your SO, and they want to see you in happy and healthy relationship. Their approval means a lot. Trust your gut, but if there's a reason that someone important in your life doesn't like your partner, listen to their concerns and try to engage in an open, honest conversation with them.

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