Courtesy of Christine Claude
Surely you've heard of Hank. He's the dog living in Texas whose desperate-for-sleep foster mom authored a tongue-in-cheek website asking for anyone—please, God, anyone—to freaking adopt Hank.
Of course, on PleaseAdoptHank.com, Christine Clauder would've used a word other than "freaking." (Hint: It also starts with F and ends with G but is not a word I'm allowed to publish on Daily Paws.) It's quite funny, and most people see through Clauder's exaggerated complaints to understand that Hank is obviously a good, funny boy who deserves a permanent home.
Hank, "54 pounds of pure, unadulterated, kinetic energy with eyes like the ocean," is apparently a Siberian black mouth cur. He has so much energy that he could very well power Texas's much-maligned power grid, Clauder jokes. Her f-bomb filled site inspired several articles across the country.
"Mostly, I just wanted to attract the audience that I felt Hank needed to be seen by. I didn't realize he would actually go worldwide," Clauder tells Daily Paws. (Funnily enough, she built the site without telling the higher-ups at Friends for Life, Hanks's shelter, but they loved it, too.)
Perhaps the best news is that the website probably worked. On Monday, Hank is set to meet with his potential new owner, Clauder, who lives in Houston, says. So he's currently "reserved," but we don't know if this potential new owner will work out. He might still need a new parent, and that's where you come in.
If that's the case, Clauder graciously took time out of her vacation—"As Hank's media agent, I never get a day off"—to lay out the top 10 reasons you should adopt her beloved Hank.
No. 10: He Can Be a Great Watchdog
Clauder says Hank will bark at anything he thinks is a danger—including the treacherous tools that injured Clauder's husband as he renovated their house. Anytime someone walks in the house, he'll let out a loud, sharp bark to let the rest of the family know.
No. 9: He's a Super-Friendly Guy
That goes for dogs and people, pretty much all of them. He loves the dog park, where he makes friends with every living thing in attendance, his foster mom says. No better ice breaker than a friendly dog, folks.
No. 8: He's a Bathtime Pro
Now, he will resist at first when he knows what's happening. (Who can blame him for that?) But once Hank is in the tub, he'll resign to his fate and sit down so you can clean him up, Clauder says. How easy!
No. 7: He Loves Car Rides
Hank will sit in the back seat, stick his snoot out the window, and smell and look at everything. "He just sits the whole time, very calmly in the car," Clauder says.
No. 6: He Sleeps Like a Dang Rock
When you play hard, you sleep hard. Clauder says he'll sleep through the whole night, like someone flipped his off switch. Everything he does is done at 100-percent effort, she adds.
No. 5: He'll Help Keep the House Clean
Leaving stuff on the floor isn't really an option with Hank around because he'll eat it, whether it's shoes or headphones. "He likes to have a clean house. He likes to have it picked up, and he will encourage you by destroying anything that doesn't belong there," Clauder says.
No. 4: He's Always Ready to Brighten Your Mood
Hank loves to play and will get you to play with him even when you're not in the mood. While that might be annoying at first, you'll soon find yourself in excellent spirits playing with Hank. "Who can be cranky when you're playing with your dog?" Clauder asks.
No. 3: He's Trainable
Clauder calls him "smart as hell." She only took a day to house train him, and this apparent genius also learned the "sit," "shake," and "down" cues in two days. Now, he's learning "stay," a hard one for a high-energy dog like Hank. He's also treat motivated (much like myself), which is a great way to incentivize any pooch through positive reinforcement training.
No. 2: He's a Funny Guy
He's constantly making Clauder laugh. He'll be naughty—but in a funny, sassy way. She might tell Hank to sit, but he won't do it until he knows he's going to get a treat. He'll also chase his tail, manage to catch it, and then tip himself over onto the floor. Quite the comedian.
No. 1: He's Loyal—Very Loyal
Clauder's family members call him a "velcro dog" because he follows them all over the house, anywhere from the couch to the kitchen. "He's just very curious about everything you're doing and wants to be involved," she says.
What more could you want!? If you're thinking about adopting a dog, Clauder says this golden fluff nugget is actually pretty awesome.
"Hank is just a very, very good boy," Clauder says.