This Is the #1 Early Depression Sign Most People Miss

Emily Laurence
·5 min read

A woman starting to feel an early sign of depression.

It’s normal to feel sad sometimes, particularly as a reaction to a specific life event, like not getting a job you applied for or a friend moving away. But while sadness is an emotion that is short-lived, depression is a diagnosable mood disorder that is so intense that it impacts one’s daily life.

GinaMarie Guarino, LMHC, a licensed mental health counselor and founder of PsychPoint, explains that sometimes, depression is sudden, brought on by something specific such as the death of a loved one or divorce. But other times, depression creeps in more slowly. “[This can happen] especially when someone is dealing with severe or unusual stress,” she says.

Dr. Alex Dimitriu, MD, who is double board-certified in psychiatry and sleep medicine and the founder of Menlo Park Psychiatry & Sleep Medicine, agrees. “Generally speaking, depression tends to creep in slowly, sometimes over weeks or months,” he says. “Usually it takes someone hitting a low point long enough to be able to see they have been depressed, and often this is a realization looking back.”

How can you know if depression is slowly encroaching on your own life? Mental health experts say there are early signs to be aware of, including one people often miss.

Related: 7 Science-Backed Ways to Deal With Depression

The #1 Most Commonly Missed Early Sign of Depression

Dr. Jenn Kennedy, PhD, LMFT, founder of The Pleasure Project and Riviera Therapy, says that the number one early sign of depression is a change in mood or energy level. For example, someone may find themself feeling more tired and lethargic than usual. Or, she says, someone may find themselves becoming more irritable than they typically are. When depression starts to creep in, a minor offense can suddenly seem like a big deal. For example, if a stranger accidentally bumps into you, it could fill you with rage, whereas normally, you would just brush it off.

Related to this change in energy and mood, Dr. Dimitriu says that lack of motivation is another early sign of depression that often goes unnoticed. “[Someone may] spend evenings dreading a return to work, and on the weekends, they have little interest in doing anything, often because they feel a need to rest,” he explains. At the same time, he says that someone who is starting to feel depressed is often unable to enjoy the downtime they do have. They may no longer be interested in activities that used to give them joy or want to see people they would normally enjoy spending time with.

Related: Here's What Major Depressive Disorder Actually Is—and How It Differs From 'Regular' Depression

In addition to a change in mood and energy, Guarino says that someone who is starting to feel depressed may have an increase in negative thoughts, including about themself. They may start thinking that nothing goes their way or that nothing they do is ever good enough.

“Other signs of depression include crying spells, feeling overwhelmed often, being less interested in enjoyable activities, and changes in appetite,” Guarino says, naming some symptoms of depression as it becomes more intense. She says that someone who is depressed may also begin to struggle with taking care of themselves or feeling any emotions at all. “Examples of ways a depressed person may behave include practicing poor hygiene, eating unhealthy foods to cope, or neglecting responsibilities.” Dr. Dimitriu adds that increased substance use can also be a sign of depression.

Most seriously, Dr. Kennedy says that depression can lead to thoughts of self-harm or suicide. If you are experiencing any of these thoughts, call or text the Suicide and Crisis helpline at 988 to be connected to help right away.

Related: 101 Quotes About Depression to Help You Not Feel So Alone In Your Struggle

Can You Prevent Depression From Getting Worse?

If you are starting to notice these signs of depression in your own life, all three mental health experts say that there are steps you can take to prevent your depression from getting worse. “Early awareness and an emphasis on self-care are essential. Depression has been suggested as the mind's way of reminding us to take care of ourselves,” Dr. Dimitriu says.

First, Dr. Kennedy says to seek support. “Talk to a friend, family member, [spiritual leader] or therapist,” she says. It’s important to know that you are never alone and depression is not a battle you have to fight by yourself.

Next, Dr. Dimitriu says to focus on meeting your basic human needs, including eating nutrient-rich foods, exercising, getting enough sleep and not completely isolating yourself—all of which are scientifically linked to improving mood. “Time in nature is also a healer. Quiet time to reflect and journal helps too, even though it may be hard for people to sit with difficult feelings. This is where therapy can be very helpful,” Dr. Dimitriu says.

Last, Dr. Kennedy says to address any major stresses in your life, if possible. For example, are there aspects of your job you can talk to your boss about delegating? Is there an ongoing commitment you can take a break from? “Depression often happens when someone feels powerless, helpless or trapped emotionally, so addressing the problematic causation is important,” Dr. Kennedy says.

In addition to these tips, Guarino says it can be helpful to put daily habits in place that support your mental health. “Daily habits that can help manage depression include setting healthy boundaries at work and in your relationships, maintaining self-care, and practicing mindfulness skills to stay aware of where you are, what you need, and how you feel. It is also important to learn about depression and how your case of depression affects your life, which typically requires support from a mental health professional,” she says.

Guarino emphasizes that depression is not a choice. It is not something you should ever blame yourself for experiencing. “Depression is common and you are not alone. Many people struggle with depression, whether it is chronic, occasional, or in reaction to an upsetting situation,” she says. “People want to support you. You don't have to do it alone and there are options available for you to feel better.”

Next up, here are tips for what to say to someone who is depressed. 

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