Why People Facebook Stalk

Looking up exes and enemies is common behavior, but why do we do it? (Photo: Yahoo Health/Getty Images)

We’ve all had that late night moment when we know we shouldn’t – because it will probably (definitely) make us unhappy – but we look at the Facebook page of an ex, the new significant other of an ex, or an enemy to see what is going on in their life. What motivates us to do it?

One new theory, put forth by Scientific American, is that our obsessive behavior on social media may be conditioned into us by Attachment Theory. If you’re not familiar, Attachment Theory was pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby to explain interpersonal relationships between humans and specifically address how people act when they are hurt in a relationship, separated from loved ones or perceive a threat from a fellow human. It is generally interpreted through the relationship between infants and caregivers, but it is reasonable to expect the theory to be applicable to humans as social creatures throughout their lives and is useful in interpreting how people will react to the termination or separation of relationships when they are adults.

They posit that “anxiously attached” babies grow into adults are the most likely to participate in Facebook stalking, because they are insecure in their relationships and require more positive feedback. Their suffering at separation may be increased with a greater commitment, and those feelings drive them to keep people under observation on social media. Given the chance to be voyeurs and maintain that connection, even virtually, they will take it. The best thing to do to avoid this behavior, if you are an anxiously attached adult? Go offline.

Related: When It Comes To Domestic Violence, Boyfriends and Girlfriends Can Be More Deadly Than Spouses

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