One Man’s Life With 5 Identities
Learn about one of the strangest identity disorders, that left David Lee with four other personalities. (Photo: David Lee)
When David Lee speaks, he refers to himself as “we.” Today the “we” comprises four other personalities plus Lee himself, but in the past there have been as many as 37.
Lee, 58, has dissociative identity disorder (DID), a mental illness that affects from 0.01 to 1 percent of the general population and was once referred to as multiple personality disorder, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Symptoms of DID may include depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies, and confusion in addition to separate identities.
It took more than 30 years for Lee to get the correct diagnosis. Before that happened, he was treated for post-traumatic stress disorder and other types of mental illness. At one point, he was taking many antipsychotic medications, most of which made his symptoms a lot worse.
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This all changed eight years ago when his wife grew frustrated with the medication side effects and sought a therapist to help determine what was really going on with Lee.
“Somebody finally picked up on the changes that I was going through,” Lee says from his home in Orlando, Florida. “There was one personality here and one personality there, and I wasn’t able to remember anything.” People with DID tend to lose time — they don’t remember when another personality takes charge — and this was one clue that helped the new therapist make a DID diagnosis and begin to unravel Lee’s past.
As a child, Lee says, he went from one foster home to another, often physically, sexually, and emotionally abused. The personalities emerged mainly as a way to cope with the abuse and keep him insulated from all the pain. One of these personalities is Dawn, a 10-year-old girl who serves as a playmate and best friend.
“When I was very young, I didn’t have any friends, so Dawn helped me and guarded me,” Lee says. Among the other personalities are tough guy Danny, who helped Lee get through his days in the U.S. Army, and Patty, who taught Lee how to speak with girls.
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Lee’s journey is somewhat typical for people with DID, according to his therapist, David Baker-Hargrove, PhD, a psychotherapist in Orlando. Most have experienced severe trauma before the age of 6. “Young children, through magical thinking, can create people to come and help them,” Dr. Baker-Hargrove says. “Once the brain does this once, it becomes easier to do it again and again.”
Adult brains don’t fragment like a child’s brain does, which is why the disease has its roots in childhood, according to NAMI. People with DID may have as few as two alters or as many as 100, but the average number is about 10, the organization notes.
Through therapy, considered the primary treatment for DID, Lee has been able to reduce the number of alternate identities or alters, and those that remain come out only in specific situations. “If I go to an action movie, Danny comes,” Lee says.
The Challenges of Living With DID
The main issue with Lee’s personalities has been that they don’t always agree on what he should or shouldn’t do, and that has caused some strife in his personal and professional relationships.
"Our goal is that they all get along and communicate better and tell Lee when they take over so he doesn’t lose time,” Baker-Hargrove says.
Lee’s last job was in a phlebotomy lab at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center, but the alters started fighting, which he says led to his dismissal about five years ago. He’s also owned a gym and been a personal trainer and a professional bodybuilder. He now volunteers with the Police Athletic League, teaching boxing and jujitsu.
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Lee is able to support himself with disability insurance, but he says he’d like a job. “When I am idle we argue on what we should do,” he says. “It gives me a migraine.”
Lee has been married for 10 years and has a 14-year-old son from a previous relationship. Still, relationships don’t come easy for him. It’s particularly hard to interact with others because the personalities can take over, sometimes without warning, and he values his relationship with his therapist greatly. He sees Baker-Hargrove twice a week, and calls or texts whenever he feels lost or afraid.
Lee’s dissociative identity disorder treatment continues to evolve. The goals of therapy differ among people with DID. While some may choose to become integrated into one person, that is not Lee’s goal.
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“Integration is a choice, and not all DID patients make it a goal,” Baker-Hargrove says. “It would be a huge emotional loss for David to say goodbye to them.”
As Lee says, “I don’t know what I would do without Dawn — I love her very much.”
This article originally appeared on EverydayHealth.com: One Man’s Life With 5 Identities
By Denise Mann, Everyday Health; Medically Reviewed by Farrokh Sohrabi, MD
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