Meat Eaters: How to Love and Live With a Vegetarian

I grew up in the South in a county that had more pigs living in it than people. Every October, my hometown celebrated everything pork during the “Ham Festival,” and all neighboring towns had at least one ‘meat and three’ restaurant, named for a dish that emphasized the meat (the three vegetables that came with it remained unnamed). In my younger days, vegetarians were mythical creatures living thousands of miles away in California.

Fast-forward a few decades: I now live in California, and I married one of those mythical vegetarians.

When my wife and I started dating, I have to admit it was tough. In my family, like many others, cooking and eating together was an event — a way to celebrate, to mourn, to bond, to strengthen our relationships. So how do you nurture a budding relationship when one of your main bonding experiences is a challenge? It takes creativity, flexibility, and compromise.

So if you’re a meat-eater dating, cohabitating with, or married to a vegetarian, open your mind and use these tips to make your food differences a blessing, not a curse.

Establish a Reasonable Set of Rules

It’s important to know what grosses out your vegetarian partner, so figure that out early. Do you need a couple of separate pans, skillets, or cutting boards reserved for “meat only” prep? Does the sight of raw meat make him or her dizzy and nauseated? What about shopping for meat products? My wife actually doesn’t require a separate meat pan, as long as it’s thoroughly washed after use, of course. And she’s willing to pick up my favorite sliced deli meat at the supermarket, but I’m not going to send her into the butcher section to select a T-bone.

Bonus Tip: For any vegetarians who might be reading this, I encourage you to be flexible when setting the rules. If you turn into a meat Nazi, your partner is going to be less flexible when it comes to acclimating to a life with less meat in it.

Add Meat Later

It’s a no-brainer but worth mentioning: Several dishes (pasta, tacos, stir fry) can start out vegetarian with meat cooked separately and added before serving. I do this with chicken, pasta and fish tacos (mmmmm, fish tacos).

Bonus Tip: It’s a touchy subject for meat eaters, but I encourage you to at least try some of the meat-substitute products out there. Most range from bland to awful, but I’ve found a good ones. Some of the Morningstar products are pretty decent, especially the sausage patties. And Lightlife makes a Mexican-style veggie ground beef that tastes good in tacos.

Pick a Few Faves

Through trial and error, my wife and I found several vegetarian dishes that we both love: a tofu-broccoli dish served over brown rice with a yummy curry sauce, an asparagus-and-mushroom risotto, homemade veggie lasagna, and more. These are so good that sometimes I crave them over meat dishes.

Bonus Tip: Pick three or four easy-to-make dishes as your go-to staples for busy weeknights. Choose one or two more challenging recipes for special occasions or for when you time on your hands. If one or neither of you cooks, turn this into a learning experience and make the food together. (Hint: Cooking classes make for awesome dates.)

Learn to Love Indian Food

It’s really good, so it won’t be that difficult. And it has a ton of meatless dishes that even the most stubborn meat-lovers will devour. Indian food is usually served family style, which is perfect for sharing, so it’s a favorite date-night cuisine for my wife and me.

Bonus Tip: Many Indian restaurants are territorial, only serving food from either the northern or southern part of the country. If you have a choice, go south; it’s basically all vegetarian, all the time. And delicious.

Go for Tofu

Before I met my wife, tofu was the flimsy stuff I avoided in my hot-and-sour soup. But there’s a wide variety available, and once I found the right kind and figured out how to cook it, I was in. Meat eaters will likely prefer the extra firm. I like the high protein kind from Trader Joe’s because it’s super dense with a meaty texture.

Bonus Tip: To cook, cut the tofu into 1/2-inch cubes. Cover the bottom of a skillet in a thin layer of olive oil and sprinkle a generous amount of spice (I usually use curry or garlic) evenly throughout. It’s important to heat the spice in the oil for a few minutes before adding the cubes. For a nice crisp, cook for several minutes on one side before flipping each cube over. (This can be tedious, but it allows the tofu to cook evenly and gives it a better texture.)

Plan a Splurge Night

The one thing I miss most is grilling out several times a week in the summer. So every once in a while, I go to my favorite butcher and buy a high-quality, expensive cut of meat and grill it to perfection. Because I don’t do this often, it tastes so much better when I treat myself. So build in a splurge night for yourself, and make it a regular thing.

Bonus Tip: If you try these tips and make an effort to integrate into your partner’s meatless world, you’re going to rack up points. Use them to get the green light for a regular guys’ (or girls’) night (and eat meat while you’re out). A one-person barbecue is kinda sad. Grilling for a group is much more enjoyable.