It's Not You, It's Me Time

Yahoo Health

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Things got awkward as soon as we finished our lattes. My friend looked at both of our empty cups and asked if I wanted to grab some real food. It wasn’t her question that made me cringe, but my seemingly self-absorbed response. “I can’t,” I said, looking at her with a fake-sad face. She challenged my girl pout with an expression that said, Go on…. I explained that my boyfriend was out of town for the day, which meant I had a few glorious hours in the apartment alone. “I know it sounds lame,” I said, looking deep into the soul of my napkin. I didn’t have anywhere to be but my couch—and I was admitting it. “It’s not that I don’t want to hang out,” I continued, officially a dud of a friend date. I was about to backpedal when she shook her head and laughed. “Oh my God, I totally get it,” she said. “Isn’t that sometimes just the best?”

The truth is, we could all stand some “me time"—and we shouldn’t feel bad about it. A series of recent British studies found that high-quality time alone is important to having a healthier work-life balance, stronger relationships, and feeling more satisfied at work. But it isn’t just being alone that helps—it’s what we do with that time. Cleaning your apartment or running errands might be solo activities, but they won’t recharge your batteries in the same way that doing something you really love or that relaxes you will. "Overall our research suggests if people take time out to recharge their batteries and experience the time taken out as high quality, this reaps benefits for their own psychological wellbeing,” said Almuth McDowall, Ph.D., a lecturer organizational psychology at Birkbeck University in London and the study’s lead author. And guess what. You can invite a friend and still reap the same benefits. “We found that ‘me time’ doesn’t have to be solitary and is more beneficial if it involves freely chosen activities,” she said in a released statement.

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Millennials are perhaps particularly sensitive to getting enough time to do our own thing—whatever that may be. One MTV study found that 70 percent of Gen-Y workers say they need “me time” at the office, compared with just 39 percent of baby boomers. Asking your boss for more space might not be the best idea—but it does say something that workers in their twenties and early thirties crave time to themselves, even in collaborative environments.

I’m certainly no exception—my job as a writer is a mostly solitary activity. But work is still work, and real “me time,” at least if we’re talking about the quality, recharging variety, isn’t a matter of just being alone. Think about it: How often do you feel 100 percent focused on you? The simple act of checking your phone is enough to disrupt a mental refresh. Millennials spend roughly 18 hours a day consuming different types of media, according to a report by Crowdtap, a social influence marketing platform. When we’re alone—at the gym, running errands—we’re still connected to everyone in our phones, everyone “liking” our Instagram photos, everyone sending emojis of flamenco dancers and hands raised in the air.

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Science and smartphones aside, the real reason we need some good old-fashioned 'me time’ is so that we can do all the things for which we do not—I repeat, do not—want an audience. This list differs for everybody, but I’m just going to go out on a limb and suggest some solo activities that fit this description. OK, ready? Let’s do this.

During “me time,” I reserve the right to:

  • Watch DVR'ed episodes of Million Dollar Listing and The Real Housewives of New York City without judgment, even from myself. Ehhh, a little judgment for Housewives. That’s fair.

  • Practice my imaginary audition for The Voice, which will of course get a four-chair turnaround and result in a lifelong friendship with Pharrell.

  • Clean out my closet and convince myself I now need to go shopping.

  • Order pancakes from Seamless, even though I could make them myself—but, dishes.

  • Attempt a yoga headstand, and then fall on my butt without wondering who heard the crashing thud.

  • Take a hot bath with yummy-smelling bubbles.

  • Paint my nails a bright spring-y shade, then remove all the polish and just put on a clear coat already.

  • Bake cookies for which I have only two thirds of the ingredients.

  • Read a real live book that doesn’t glow in my face.

  • Meditate, also known as “time used to contemplate if any of the contestants on Naked and Afraid are ever going to hook up, and how awkward that would be for the camera crew.”


Now it’s your turn: What are the silly (or not so silly) activities you reserve for “me time”? And how do you carve out that time to begin with? Share in the comments!

By Caitlin Moscatello 

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