I'm a Hardcore Vegan—and My Live-In Boyfriend's a Big Meat Eater
They say opposites attract, but this couple takes it to the extreme. (Photo: Shutterstock)
Hillary Johnson and her boyfriend, Sam Perez, met in a club in New York City nearly five years ago, and when they had their first conversation, Hillary didn’t hold back: “I’m pretty sure I let my vegan flag fly right away,” says the audio engineer. “Sam offered to buy me a beer, and when they didn’t have my go-to Sierra Nevada—which I know is vegan—Sam asked me about my favorite drinks and I pretty much told him, ‘I’m vegan, and the barrels they use to ferment beer are coated with fish bladder.’”
Sam, a tattoo artist and self-proclaimed meat lover, didn’t think it was a big deal—until they went out to dinner for the first time. “I wasn’t sure what to order because I didn’t want to offend her or turn her off, so instead of ordering beef, I ordered chicken,” he says with a laugh.
Hillary and Sam are both in their early forties and have now been living together in the East Village for the last two years, but they’re still navigating the sometimes-tricky dining scenarios that you’d imagine would pop up in an apartment where one person’s preference is bone broth and beef jerkey and the other’s is Tofutti Cuties and almond milk. How do they make it a vegan-Paleo love story? WomensHealthMag.com asked…
WH: So what does dinner looks like in your house?
Hillary: It’s important to me to have a cruelty-free home, which means only vegan meals are made or brought into the apartment—except for cat food. Even work clients are told that they have to drink their coffee with milk in the hall before coming in. I think it can be tough on Sam—he’s been known to eat a sandwich in the hallway every so often—but he also cooks very excellent vegan meals, most of the time better than me. He likes to cook. I like delivery.
Sam: Hillary has introduced me to good vegan meat alternatives, and I incorporate these into my meals.
Hillary: We eat a lot of Earth Balance and Vegenaise.
Sam: Hail Vegenaise!
Related: 3 Tips for Going Vegan the RIGHT Way (Even If It’s Just Part-Time)
WH: Hillary, is it tough for you to watch Sam eat meat when you’re out to eat?
Hillary: Even though it’s against my beliefs, I don’t judge other peoples’ habits or ethics. I only ask that they be aware of what they are consuming. Most of the time, I can tune out other peoples’ meat dishes, including Sam’s, unless it smells terrible or I am genuinely curious about what the heck is on their plate.
WH: Is finding a restaurant you’ll both love challenging?
Sam: Sometimes. We’re lucky if we find a restaurant where we can both enjoy the foods equally, rather than getting a dumbed-down version of what we want.
Hillary: Honestly, it’s not as important to me that we eat from the same restaurant or share the same dish, but rather that we spend the time together.
Related: 8 World Records That Prove Love Conquers All
WH: Are there any surprising ways your vastly different diets have brought you closer together?
Sam: Being able to cook dishes familiar to me with a vegan alternative has shown Hillary that I’m taking an interest in her lifestyle without fully making it my own. It’s also expanded my own diet because I’m eating things that are a healthier, like mayonnaise without eggs and non-dairy pastries. It’s changed my snacking habits, as well. Where I used to grab potato chips and dip, it’s now a pita dipped in hummus. And almond milk is like a godsend.
Hillary: Being able to teach someone the things I’ve learned about diet and health is something that’s very important to me in a relationship. It’s one thing bonding with a friend over Tofutti Cuties; it’s another story when you’re watching a documentary about factory farming and your boyfriend says, “Wow, I never thought about that.” It’s a great feeling to think that you’re making a dent.
Related: I Ate Like Beyoncé For a Week
WH: Are there any other ways your different diets have been tough on your relationship?
Sam: Definitely. Not being able to eat dinners I want in the house, like a simple meatball sandwich, really sucks sometimes and makes it seem like I’m on a diet unnecessarily.
Hillary: This is an area where we have to continually check in with each other, and it’s definitely the one where we both need to compromise the most—the rest of the relationship is pretty easy. I know it’s hard on him, and I know he respects my wishes, but sometimes I feel like the bad guy and know that he sometimes feels like I am the bad guy.
WH: Do you both think you’ll stick to your vegan/meat-eating diets for good?
Hillary: I cannot see myself changing my diet. It’s been a part of my lifestyle for 15 years, and it truly works for me.
Sam: Yep, I think I’ll always eat meat on occasion. Hillary met me as a meat-eater, and this is the way I am. But I will continue to incorporate a lot more vegan meals into my diet. And honestly, I’m glad that Hillary’s vegan and hope she stays that way.
More from Women’s Health:
What That One Thing That Always Causes Fights Says About Your Relationship
What It Says About Your Partner—and You—If He Criticizes You All the Time
What I Learned About Love from Interviewing More Than 200 Couples
