I Was Shamed by My Doctor for Having Multiple Sex Partners
One woman’s experience during a routine visit left her feeling deeply mortified. (Photo: Peter Hapak)
We live in an age of shaming—shamed for how we look, what we say, who we are. It’s so relentless, especially online, you might even say we’ve become desensitized to it. And yet, when the judgment comes straight from an M.D.—the one person you trust implicitly with your well-being—it shocks you to your core. The health consequences can be devastating, even deadly. Enough! With the help of women brave enough to share their stories and be photographed, WH urges you to speak up and join in as we rally for change. #StoptheShame
Emily Lindin, 29, had never even been intimate with a boy when her middle-school classmates cast her in the role of school slut. The unwarranted label stuck, and while she eventually grew to expect such random cruelty from peers, she never thought she’d hear it from a doctor.
But there she was, at her college health center for an annual checkup. She’d been candid on the medical questionnaire. Number of sexual partners: 10-plus. Vaginal, oral, or anal sex? Check, check, check. Safe sex? Always. STI tests? Up to date. Number of partners since last visit? One.
“One? Are you sure?” asked the doctor.
“Positive,” said Emily.
“But are you sure,” the M.D. pressed, waving Emily’s health history in her face. “Only one?”
“As if someone as ‘slutty’ as me just had to be lying,” says Emily.
Deeply mortified and eager to avoid a repeat, Emily began shying away from total honesty about her past at future checkups and put her well-being at risk by missing timely STI and Pap smear tests.
Related: You Probably Aren’t Getting All of the STD Tests You Should Be
Emily is not alone. Similar scenarios play out thousands of times every day in doctors’ offices around the country. Women show up looking for answers—only to leave coated in a film of shame. Nearly 60 percent of females say they’ve been judged by their doctors, per a study in Basic and Applied Social Psychology. A new Women’s Health survey puts that number closer to 85 percent.
The results are alarming: Doctor shaming can make women less likely to seek care, be truthful about their behavior, or follow medical advice. Even more troubling, it can lead to faulty diagnoses and treatments.
Related: The Health Tests You Need to Get in Your 20s, 30s, and 40s
For more on the dangers of doctor-shaming and other stories from women who’ve been through it, pick up the September issue of Women’s Health, on newsstands now. Plus, take a stand against doctor-shaming by sharing your own experiences on social media using the hashtag #StoptheShame.
By The Editors of Women’s Health
More from Women’s Health:
I Was Shamed by My Doctor for Being Black
People Who Feel Body Shame Are More Prone to Getting Sick
An Effective Ovarian Cancer Treatment Now Exists—So Why Aren’t Doctors Using It?
