Dreading Wearing a Swimsuit This Weekend? Do This
If you don’t feel “ready” to slip into your swimsuit this weekend, you’re not alone. But don’t let that keep you from having fun. (Photo: Stocksy/Alicia Bock)
This Fourth of July, you’re probably looking forward to grilling outside, pool parties with friends and family, and an extra day off work (if you’re lucky). But there’s one thing you might be dreading: putting on a swimsuit.
Even women who are confident in many other aspects of life can have hang-ups when it comes to bearing their bodies. These insecurities are more than mere annoyances — they can actually keep us from enjoying life to its fullest. And let’s admit it: That’s pretty messed up.
“I see so many women miss out on summer fun because they’re just not ‘ready’ [to wear a swimsuit] this summer,” says Neghar Fonooni, a Santa Monica, California–based personal trainer who launched a Bikini Rebellion body confidence and mindset program this June.
Some people think, “If I lose 10 pounds, then I’ll be ready to wear a bikini” — or even, “Once I slim down, then I’ll be worthy of wearing a bikini.” But “it’s this sort of ‘if-then’ trap that keeps us from fully engaging in life,” Fonooni tells Yahoo Health.
Related: What to Do When Your Flaws Are All You Can Focus On
Social media has also proven to be a double-edged sword: It bombards us with images of fit, happy people, yet it’s also part of the solution — with everyday women, influencers, and the media speaking out against negative messages, Fonooni points out. Recently, plus-size model Denise Bidot starred in an unretouched ad for Swimsuits for All titled “Beach Body. Not Sorry,” which you can watch below:
In the video, she says, “I love everything about my body. I’ve learned really to just love every bit of it. The cellulite the stretch marks — everything I at one point when I was younger would have thought was an imperfection, I now realize is everything that makes me, me.”
Still, it can be hard to ignore the negative messages and those self-critical voices in your head — especially in a body-baring swimsuit. “Unfortunately, we live in a culture that tells us over and over again that an essential part of being a woman is being looked at,” says Renee Engeln, PhD, professor and head of the Body & Media Lab at Northwestern University. “This leads a lot women to feel as though they’re on display every time they walk outside or that they must look a certain way to be seen in public in a bathing suit.”
Engeln continues, “Here’s what I want to tell women everywhere: As much as modern advertising and celebrity culture might suggest otherwise, you do not owe it to the world to have a certain body shape or look a certain way. You have important things to be and do. Be and do those things and leave the fat-shamers and body trolls behind.”
That can be easier said than done. Follow these tips to overcome self-conscious thoughts:
1. Accept reality.
Fonooni stresses the idea of “active acceptance,” which means that you simultaneously accept how your body is right now, while still working on your health and body-related goals. People tend to think that the idea of accepting your body means giving up, but that’s not the case.
“Decide right now, before you go to the beach this weekend, that this is the body I have right now. It’s not going to change before Saturday, and that’s OK,” Fonooni says. “And by accepting that this is my body right now, I’m not giving up, I’m not resigning myself to being unhealthy, but it’s an acceptance of reality. This is where I am now.”
This acceptance gives you a sense of peace that allows you to enjoy the moment. Instead of tugging at your suit or thinking “ugh, I’m so bloated,” you can engage in all of the fun activities around you.
2. Weed out your Instagram feed.
“When I first started doing research on women’s body image, I thought one of the most powerful weapons women had against unrealistic media images was their ability to critique and reject these images,” Engeln tells Yahoo Health. “I’m still all for media literacy — but I think the better strategy is walking away from those images and, whenever possible, avoiding exposure in the first place.”
Take an inventory of all the places you see images or messages that make you feel bad about yourself, and cut them out where you can. Unfollow Instagram feeds with Photoshopped #fitspiration pics, toss the Victoria’s Secret catalog in the recycling bin without opening it — whatever it may be for you.
When you can’t avoid something, don’t dwell on it. “Instead of staring at the model on the cover of a magazine and thinking about how airbrushed she is, you’re much better off turning your attention toward something else,” Engeln says.
Related: Fitness Star Cassey Ho Takes On the ‘Perfect’ Body
3. Let go of the “bikini-worthy body” mindset.
Phrases like “bikini-ready body” and “bikini-worthy body” are everywhere in the media. “You’ll see it on any cover of any magazine if you’re at the grocery store; it’s very prevalent,” Fonooni says. “And it’s really dangerous territory because it starts to dig into a person’s inherent worthiness.”
These phrases suggest that in order to wear a certain piece of clothing, you need to be worthy of it, Fonooni explains, “when truly you’re completely worthy right now of wearing whatever it is you choose to wear.”
“You’re worthy of wearing a bikini right now,” she stresses. Your ability to wear a bikini “has absolutely nothing to do with the number on the scale, or your body fat percentage, or what size your bikini is, you’re absolutely worthy of doing it right now.”
4. Know where confidence really comes from (and where it doesn’t).
It’s easy to see why so many people think life would be perfect (or at least better) if they just had a better body, Engeln says. “When you look around, the images we see are not just of incredibly thin, perfectly coiffed women. These women are almost always shown with expensive products, in beautiful places, happy, living the good life,” she explains. “The message we get is that beauty is a guarantee of the good life.”
But in reality, the relationship between how you look and how confident you feel is very small, Engeln says. “If you want to feel better about yourself, focus on building strong, caring relationships and finding meaning in what you do everyday — don’t focus on how you look.”
5. Ignore what other people think.
If your biggest concern is other people judging your body, remember that they’re probably just as self-conscious about their own appearance. “Nobody else is scrutinizing your body the way that you are,” Fonooni says. “Everybody else is there at the beach worrying about their own body, or they’re there to have fun with their friends and family.”
Remember that you’re probably being more critical of yourself than others are. “More often than not, the things that you perceive to be flaws or imperfections about your body, most of the time other people aren’t even noticing them until you point them out,” Fonooni says.
And yes, there will always be people who are judging others. But are they really worth your time and energy? “I’d encourage women feeling swimsuit self-doubt to ask themselves this question: What’s the worst thing that could happen if I wear a bathing suit in public? Really — besides a sunburn, which we already know how to prevent — the worst thing that could happen is that someone might think something critical about how you look. You’re never going to be able to control what other people think, so don’t let worries about what other people are thinking ruin your good time with family and friends.”
And remember, it doesn’t matter what other people think, anyway. “The only person’s opinion of your body that matters is your own,” Fonooni says.
6. Show off your personal style.
Make sure your swimsuit fits and supports your body as it is right now — not the body you had five years ago, or the body you hope to have in six months.
Fonooni says that she often sees women trying to fit into a suit from years and years ago. “Your body has likely changed in a variety of different ways, and it’s kind of like you’re holding on to this ‘I should be able to fit into this thing from five years ago’ mentality when that old bathing suit is actually just making you feel badly about yourself,” she explains.
Suits also don’t hold up very well. If it’s bunching in weird places and not supporting you, it might be that the fabric is old and worn. Don’t worry about what you used to wear; find something you’re excited to wear right now. “Although it seems like a really simple thing, it can be really powerful, and it can be that first step to getting you out there and getting you more confident in a bathing suit,” Fonooni says.
Finally, if you’re still having trouble, shift your focus to things that really matter to you, Engeln says. “If you want to wear a bathing suit but feel self-conscious, the best thing you can do is turn your thoughts away from how you look and toward the things that really matter to you in life,” she says. “Think about the people you love, the fun things you want to do, and all the ways that your body allows you to move through the world.”
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