The '80s Foods That Defined a Decade
An epic mashup video homage, featuring every classic ’80s movie moment, ever, got us thinking about the foods we obsessed over during that era (because we have one-track minds). We reached out to Caissie St.Onge, the co-executive producer of “Watch What Happens Live,” a pop culture show that recently played host to a “Full House” reunion, the stars of “The Facts of Life,” and Melissa Gilbert from “Little House on the Prairie.” St.Onge, a proud "'80s kid," reminded us that chowing down back then was about “embracing artificialness” in food. Whether it was Cheetos—“it tastes like an idea of cheese”—or her obsession, the strawberry Flakey Puffs that the popular girls would bring to her school. “This is what strawberries taste like from a factory.”
St.Onge attributes the rise in processed food to the boom in divorce rates and, thus, latchkey kids. She remembers watching TV while waiting for her mom to come home from work and being deluged by a flood of commercials that made pre-packaged food seem “so fun—so cool to eat it. Everything came with a mascot. It made it seem like it was your friend, like the Honey Nut Cheerios bee.” She has strong memories of Pepsi Lite, Five Alive “fruit juice,” and Steak-Umm—“which I believe were made with something that came out of a cow”—and she’s not alone. An extremely unscientific survey of friends turned up the following iconic ’80s foods.
Jello Pudding Pops
As St.Onge puts it, “pudding pops were everything because Bill Cosby was the spokesperson.” His swirl ads in particular were unforgettable.
Big League Chew
All the ballplayers we watched on TV were chewing tobacco, which meant that the kid equivalent was making cameos at Little League parks nationwide. Stringy and satisfying, it seemed to last the whole game long.
Fun Dip
Sugar that you stick into more sugar.
Clearly Canadian
If you were sophisticated—a woman of style, at 13—you drank Clearly Canadian. Cherry-flavored, thank you very much. Clearly Canadian has since kicked the bucket, and has since kicked the bucket (but it is trying very, very hard to come back to life in 2014).
Nerds
We know we just mentioned them, but no one forgets Nerds—or the ritual involved in eating them. You’d have a favorite color, you knew which ones your friends preferred, and you would split them out of the box carefully, so as to avoid color cross-contamination.
Handi-Snacks
St.Onge remembers, “Handi-Snacks were a sign of a family that was flush with cash.” Truth. Crackers and cheese, stuffed together in a tiny, wasteful plastic container. Oh, how we loved them (when we got the chance to have them).
The California Raisins
Apparently, all it took to get your kids to eat fruit back in the day was to make them watch an ad of cartoon fruit singing.
Reese’s Pieces
Sure, these hit the market in the ’70s, but E.T. hit in ‘82. Then these chocolate-peanut butter babies were everywhere. Every. Where.
SunnyD
Terrible, cheery, and unnaturally orange, SunnyD was as constant a presence at soccer games as “Stairway to Heaven” was at dances.
Count Chocula
The “monster cereals,” as they were known, were the Platonic ideal of cereal to any child forced to eat Wheaties or Cheerios.
Pop Rocks
Explosive and wonderful—and no, you can’t blow yourself up by consuming them—Pop Rocks had great graphics and were noisy, to boot. The ideal trouble-making treat for a trouble-making time.
Photos: Universal Pictures. Illustrations: Jennifer Fox
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