Not Drinking Alcohol? Social Survival Tips
Bitters and soda, the non-drink drink. Photo credit: Julia Bainbridge
Drynuary is the relatively well-known practice of avoiding alcohol during the month of January—staying “dry”—post-holiday overconsumption. But Sober September? It’s gotten less traction. Our friend Pippa Lord, of lifestyle website Sous Style, decided to take it on, though. She wrote:
“After being on an all-you-can-eat food and booze cruise, also known as August, I’ve decided that throughout September, I’m going to put down the glass and drink no alcohol for an entire month.”
And she’s done it—well, nearly. This month has one week left in it, but having chatted with Lord earlier today, we have confidence in her. Here’s what she’s learned during her time away from the bar (and in the bar… drinking water.)
Why did you decide to do this?
After living almost 10 years in New York, where everything revolves around having a drink in your hand, I thought ‘Isn’t it time just to stop for a second?’ I’m not a big drinker, really, but it just felt like a good time to give it a rest. Plus, I’m a small person, and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found I’ll have a serious hangover after just two drinks.
There’s also the challenge aspect.
Yes: Could I be creative enough to come up with things to do with my friends or on dates that don’t involve drinking? Normally, the drink is the way to meet up with friends or even have meetings: You connect, chat…all over a glass of wine. That was the pattern I was getting into a few times a week, and that just seemed to be too much. So, I thought, ’Does the drink always have to be part of it?’
You’re dating these days. How’s that been going without a cocktail to ease any tension?
The dates have been less awkward than I thought. I assumed that the conversation wouldn’t flow or [men] would think I was weird or I’d be boring; I also worried I’d make them feel uncomfortable. But I’ve actually really enjoyed it, because you don’t have that drink to make things more interesting, you just have yourself. And they have to work a little harder, too. There’s not that drinking mojo that comes on after a couple glasses.
What do you drink when you’re out with friends?
I love having soda and bitters. You end up kind of rating the best bitters—I love Jerry Thomas Bitters from The Bitter Truth. I’ll also put a bit of orange in it. Then what I’ve found is really helpful is drinking peppermint tea with your dinner. There’s such a ritual around coffee and tea, so I feel like I’m having a ritualistic drink like those at my table drinking wine are.
So what about when you’re not drinking and everyone else is? Can conversation be more challenging?
Making small talk is much more difficult. I naturally find people very interesting and I try and be very curious about them, but you have to work even harder. Alcohol can take the edge off just a little bit—you feel more relaxed—so when you don’t have that oil of alcohol, you have to work to find those interesting moments with people.
Have you been avoiding bars?
It’s kind of been the opposite! Normally, I’m not a big fan of bars, but when you know you’re not going to be drinking, and you know you’re not going to have even the slightest headache the next day—I sometimes get a headache after one drink—you’re more open to going out. So I’ve been saying yes a lot!
Does people wrinkle their noses at your not drinking in bars?
No. Before I head out, I’ll tell my friends I’m not drinking. That’s always good because it sets it up. And then if someone asks me at a bar, I just say ‘Yeah, it’s been nine years and I’ve never taken time off of drinking, so why not now?’
The experience has been such a success that Lord is taking October off, too.
