Woman shocked by husband’s ‘unsettling’ secret household move: ‘A huge violation of boundaries’

·2 min read

A man secretly moved in a roommate while his wife was away for a weekend.

He feels his behavior is justified and asked Reddit’s “Am I the A******” forum if he was right. His wife lost her job and has been unemployed for a year. To cover the cost of their apartment they decided to get a roommate. The wife specifically requested they have only a female roommate. But when they couldn’t find one, the Reddit poster moved a male roommate in while she was gone.

“My wife and I have an apartment together,” the Reddit poster said. “Before this year, we could have maintained it alone, but now with her being out of work for almost a full year, we need a roommate. My wife insisted that she’s only okay with a female roommate because she doesn’t want to live with strange men, and I understood her concerns. Despite saying women only in our posts about it, almost exclusively men applied. We complained about it to some of our friends, and they think we’re in the wrong. They said we were being sexist because we weren’t willing to consider a male roommate.” 

Related: Woman makes unsettling discovery about boyfriend

The husband became convinced his friends were right and his wife was wrong. 

“I started to consider if we were in the wrong and just old fashioned for only wanting a specific gender of a roommate,” he wrote. “She refused, but time was ticking. On a practical side, we really needed to get someone in there soon, so I picked someone, ran a background check, and moved him in while my wife was visiting her sister for a weekend. I shouldn’t have just ignored her, but it was crunch time. He passed the background check, and he’s perfectly nice. When she came home… she was not willing to just talk about it or to either of us. She’s furious at me, for the past week she’s only spoken to scream at me and threaten to evict our new roommate.” 

Reddit users thought the husband disrespected his wife. 

“This was a huge violation of boundaries. Even if you had moved in any gender of person, it would still be really unsettling to come home to a stranger in my own home,” one user commented

“This is divorce papers territory,” another said

“If you and your wife disagree about something, that doesn’t mean you just do it anyway,” someone wrote

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