'Scandal' Tweet-cap: Will Olivia and Fitz Get Married to Save His Presidency?

Warning: This recap contains storyline and character spoilers for this week’s episode of Scandal.

Going to the chapel and Olitz is gonna get married… so that Olivia can claim spousal privilege and avoid testifying about her affair with Fitz.

How romantic! No, this isn’t the wedding of Olivia’s dreams — if her dreams have even ever contained a wedding.

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Olivia’s stuck between a rock and a hard place this week. Does she perjure herself and go to prison, or marry Fitz in a shotgun wedding? But wait, there’s an even worse Door No. 3, and it involves her father! And requires Mellie’s help!

What could go wrong? Everything, of course.

Here’s a rundown of the episode:

Total Recall

Fitz’s impeachment hearing is underway, and first up is Mellie Grant, former First Lady and now senator from Virginia. She thinks this’ll be a piece of cake, but soon realizes it’s a trap. The committee members go from softball questions to grilling her about one Jeanine Locke — remember, she’s the girl that Mellie paid to confess to an affair with Fitz. And when the senators ask her about it, Mellie faces ruin and humiliation.

The jig is up, and Fitz’s lawyer, Patty Snell, rules out the idea of his testifying. Fine, he can claim executive privilege, but what about Olivia? Cyrus comes up with an idea: They should get married! If Olivia is his wife, she can’t testify against him.

But Liv is soooo against the idea, and Fitz promises they will find another way.

Meanwhile, in prison, Rowan has a visitor: Elise! She assures him they’ve created a new identity for him, stocked his bank accounts, and are working on an escape plan. Poor Jake — he really has the worst luck with women. Or maybe not? Perhaps Elise is working with him to get Rowan?

Ahh, nope. Jake finds out Elise has been visiting Rowan in prison and confronts her with a gun in her face. She admits she’s working for the people who are running the Lazarus One operation. But they don’t want to free Rowan — they want to kill him!

At OPA, Olivia rehearses the gladiators in what they will say during their testimony at the hearing. She won’t let them lie, but they can fudge the truth in certain ways. See: Mellie’s “I don’t recall.” None of them were responsible for the leaked video that implicated Jeanine Locke as Fitz’s mistress. In fact, the person who was behind it is now… dead. RIP Harrison.

At the Attorney General’s office, David receives an unexpected visitor: Susan Ross. She needs his full discretion, and then confesses she wants to know if she can resign. Nooooo! Susan, what would we do without your unique blend of spirit and silliness?

Ain’t No Way

Olivia is still very much against the idea of marrying Fitz, but then he goes and sets up a super-romantic, rose-petals-strewn-everywhere scene on the Truman Balcony. How this woman doesn’t instantly melt and say “I do,” we don’t know. He’s gone to a lot of trouble, too, acquiring a ring owned by Betsy Ross.

Liv won’t even let him propose. They’re not ready, she says. “You’re not ready,” Fitz replies, shaking his head. “And you never will be.” Ouch.

Naturally, she runs off to call her bestie, Jake, to dish on relationship issues. Poor Jake. Poor, poor Jake.

Meanwhile, Rowan was attacked in prison, and he knows this won’t be the last attempt on his life. He manages to get Olivia to visit him (he can apparently fake heart problems) and offers her a deal: If she gets him out of prison, he’ll make the hearings go away. He’s still got B-613 files on all the committee members, and can use that dirt to end the impeachment.

That could be the answer to all of her problems. Except for one thing: Olivia needs a senator from Virginia to do it.

Mellie is horrified. Not only is this the same man who duped her into giving over those dead jurors’ names, she finds out that he’s an evil mastermind AND the villain who killed her son! Mellie can’t deal and runs off.

The next morning, Olivia wakes up next to Fitz and asks for the ring. The wedding is on! Well, sort of. She’s not going to wear a wedding dress, she doesn’t want to say any vows, and she’s definitely not changing her name. Fitz laughs and jokes he’s marrying her for her money, anyway.

What does Olivia do next? Of course, she calls Jake. But now, he’s pissed. He basically hangs up on her, then tells Elise he wants to be part of Lazarus One. Out of the #friendzone at last.

Freedom Calling

At the White House, Fitz and Mellie are meeting to finalize their divorce. They squabble over properties, custody of their children, and visiting hours at Jerry’s grave. Mellie is very bitter, but signs the papers anyway.

But as she’s about to leave, Fitz mutters, “There’s nothing left for you to take.” And that pushes her over the edge. How dare he blame her for everything that’s happening? All of it — including Jerry’s death — is on Fitz. None of it would’ve happened if it wasn’t for Fitz.

Mellie wishes she’d never met him. “I’ve wasted 20 years propping you up,” she snarls.

“My life would have meant something if it wasn’t for you.” And with that, Mellie storms off.

At the Attorney General’s office, David meets again with Susan. She can legally resign, simply by writing a letter to the president. But he urges her to reconsider (over wine coolers, LOL). He soothes her fears that she’ll make a terrible president. At least she won’t have a problem keeping her zipper up!

Fitz, Olivia, Abby, Cyrus, and basically the whole White House staff gathers in the Oval Office for the wedding. A Secret Service guy is babbling at Liv about hiring her own chief of staff, about her code name, about taking her phone away.

Just then, she gets a call. From Mellie.

At Union Station, where Jake is supposed to meet Elise, he finds her dead instead! Oh no…

Abby returns the ring to Fitz. And the hearings are interrupted, and then shut down, when a messenger delivers envelopes filled with dirty secrets to all the committee members.

And Olivia goes to meet Mellie in the secret underground tunnel again. Mellie is smiling, strangely. She thought she hated Olivia, but she was wrong.

“You are not my enemy. You are my freedom,” she says, nearly laughing. For her role in stopping the hearings, she wants something in return from Liv.

Rowan appears. Papa Pope is loose! “Hello, Olivia,” he says in that deep, unsettling voice of his.

What has Olivia Pope done?

Scandal airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on ABC.