Nate Bargatze jokes about getting old during SNL opening monologue

Kelsey Dallas
·3 min read
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Nate Bargatze speaks with journalists as he arrives at A Country Thing Happened On The Way To Cure Parkinson’s at The Fisher Center on Wednesday, April 26, 2023, in Nashville, Tenn.
Nate Bargatze speaks with journalists as he arrives at A Country Thing Happened On The Way To Cure Parkinson’s at The Fisher Center on Wednesday, April 26, 2023, in Nashville, Tenn. | George Walker IV, Associated Press
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Comedian Nate Bargatze brought his signature self-deprecating humor to “Saturday Night Live” this weekend and peppered his SNL opening monologue with jokes about his age, his addiction to Afrin nasal spray and his bad reading habits.

“I’m as shocked as you all are that I’m here,” Bargatze said as he took the famous stage at 30 Rockefeller Plaza.

Here are some notable jokes from Bargatze’s SNL opening monologue.

The future is now

Bargatze began his stint as “Saturday Night Live” host by talking about how “future” the world already is.

“I’m from the 1900s, and I just think you’ve got to say it: The world is so future now. I feel in the way of it,” he said.

He pointed out that hotels have stopped putting full glass doors on showers because having “half a glass” is the future.

“In the future, the floors are always wet,” Bargatze said.

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The year 2057

Building on his riff about the future, Bargatze noted that his 11-year-old daughter won’t be 44 (his own age) until 2057.

“I don’t believe that’s a real year,” he joked. “My movies didn’t go that high in fake years.”

He continued, “How am I going to talk to someone in 2057? I have more in common with a pilgrim.”

Grandma jokes

Bargatze noted that plenty of people are still alive who are older than him, including his parents. He said his mom recently made a classic grandma mistake and went to the wrong house when she was supposed to pick up his daughter.

“She drove to the wrong house, and another grandmother opened the door,” he said. “This is like two dogs seeing each other through a fence. They’re going to be there for a while, you know?”

They ended up talking for 30 minutes, he added, saying, “I had to go get my daughter and then find my mom.”

Afrin nasal spray

Bargatze included several jokes about his dad in his SNL opening monologue, too. He said that his dad recently had to have surgery because he’s addicted to using Afrin nose spray.

“If you don’t know what (Afrin) is, I would honestly tell you not to get involved,” Bargatze joked. “It’s one of the best things I’ve ever been part of.”

He said that his mom forced his dad to admit to the doctor that he’d been using Afrin regularly for 45 years.

“There’s not a medicine on earth that tells you to give it a good 45-year run,” Bargatze said.

Bad reading habit

Bargatze wrapped up his monologue by making fun of his own poor reading habits.

“I don’t read. I don’t read any books,” he said, adding that books are too intimidating.

“Every book is just the most words. It doesn’t let up. Every page is more words. ... Put some blank pages in there. Let me get my head above water for two seconds.”

Bargatze’s lack of attention to books has led to some surprises when he watches movies based on true events.

“I watched the movie ‘Pearl Harbor,’ and I was as surprised as they were,” he joked.

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Nate Bargatze tour

Bargatze’s “The Be Funny Tour” is currently underway.

He’ll be in Illinois this coming week (Peoria and Chicago) before heading to Las Vegas for shows on Nov. 10 and 11.

Then, he’ll be traveling to Ohio, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, Iowa and several other states. The tour ends June 27, 2024, in Indianapolis.