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Before we dive into the recap of Tuesday’s episode of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” we must first discuss the lawsuit heard around the Bravo world.
According to Us Weekly, Beauty Lab + Laser — the medspa owned by Heather Gay — sued Monica Garcia after she failed to pay $2,449 for cosmetic procedures. Garcia filed a countersuit in which she alleged she received defective injections. Heather’s response in an Instagram post reads, “This lawsuit in the press has no merit and is unfortunately a pattern of behavior from a desperate woman who when unable to pay her bills lashes out to avoid accountability.”
According to TVLine, and everyone I’ve talked to who is in the know, Monica is not currently talking to her cast mates.
So we can expect the rest of the season to get pretty spicy.
But on to recap the latest episode: At the start, we meet Lisa Barlow in Daybreak, where she has come to visit Whitney Rose, who is pulling random Harmons’ snacks from her fridge, a move to which I relate on a very real level. Harmons is an elite grocery store in Utah and their gourmet snacks are keeping me alive.
Lisa is in a bubbly mood for her visit with her cast “bestie” — as she calls Whitney — and is failing to pick up on Whitney’s icy vibe. Whitney is less than thrilled with Lisa’s behavior and loud argument with Monica at the Prism launch event. Whitney tells her she’s upset, and Lisa immediately gets defensive. She does apologize but deflects to Angie Katsanevas, who was acting chummy with Monica during the event.
“The ocular doesn’t match the words,” Lisa tells Whitney, and color me surprised because it turns out “ocular” actually does work in that context, according to the Google dictionary. As Lisa’s voice increases in decibels, Whitney scolds her for yelling in her home in front of her kids. Which is fair.
Next, we find Heather at Mary Cosby’s door for her first visit to Mary’s home, which is the most unhinged home I’ve ever seen on television and I’ve watched more than one episode of “Hoarders.” I’m confident that Heather will mark her life moving forward with pre-Mary visit and post-Mary visit. There’s no way being in that space wouldn’t fundamentally change a person.
Mary shows Heather around her home, which is carpeted in a color that can best be described as “violet green.” They traipse through a neon blue kitchen, and settle in Dr. Seussian chairs, where Mary confronts Heather about what Heather wrote about her in her book. What Heather wrote about her was pretty mild — essentially that Mary can be confusing and kind of mean. Which is true. Heather also explains that Mary hurt her feelings when she called her “inbred.” Heather asks, “Do you think I look inbred?” to which Mary says, “I do.” So.
“Your house is grand,” Heather tells Mary, which is absolutely the nicest thing anyone could say about Mary’s home.
Up in Park City, Meredith Marks is attempting to record a podcast episode with her husband, Seth Marks. They both get emotional talking about some of the tougher times in their marriage, and it’s a beautiful, vulnerable moment but it is not recorded due to Meredith’s failure to hit the record button, which has happened to me more times than I would like to share.
In Monica’s home, she’s helping her oldest daughter answer her invitation to prom with a poster and balloons — a peculiar Utah tradition — when her mother pulls up in the car she allegedly took from Monica. Her mother, Linda, says she’s returned the car as a peace offering and promises not to take Monica’s car anymore. Monica tells her she’s tired of the ups and downs of their relationship, and Linda invites Monica to attend therapy with her. Monica says they have gone to therapy and nothing helped. But she tells her she’ll think about it and instructs Linda to walk home.
Heather arrives at Ember, an event venue on State Street in Salt Lake City where she’s about to hold an event for her book “Bad Mormon.” The guests begin to pile in, which is tense because currently all of the housewives are on nonspeaking terms with at least one of the other housewives.
Once the venue is full, Lisa introduces Heather by first singing “Away in a Manger,” repeating her iconic performance from her choir audition last season, but then breaks into, I kid you not, a very bad rap. I want to crawl out of my body watching this. The secondhand embarrassment is almost too much to bear.
Heather reads an excerpt from her book, which is very sweet and kind toward members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, given that the book is titled “Bad Mormon.”
After the reading, Heather and Lisa share a bonding moment together in which Lisa tells Heather she understands her better now, and Heather explains she just wants to be included in Jack’s missionary journey. They both agree they need to be more open to accepting one another’s feelings and experiences.
In a separate corner, Angie Katsanevas corners Meredith about Meredith’s threat to ruin Angie’s family. Meredith quickly apologizes and walks away, leaving Angie feeling it wasn’t the most sincere of apologies.
In the Barlow home, Lisa is still fuming about Angie’s friendliness toward Monica. She invites Angie over and explains her feelings of betrayal, and after some defensive back and forth, Angie agrees to take a step back from her friendship with Monica.
We’ll see how that goes next week.