Storms are brewing on the latest episode of ‘The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City’

The cast of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.”
The cast of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.” | Bravo
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Tuesday night’s episode of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” begins in Daybreak, a suburb on the west side of Salt Lake City, where Whitney Rose and her family reside.

Whitney tells her husband, Justin Rose, that she just got off the phone with Mary Cosby. “Why?” he asks, vocalizing what we’re all thinking. Cut to Mary in her truly unhinged closet, wearing a truly unhinged hat, FaceTiming with Whitney. Whitney invites her to lunch, and in response, Mary says, “If I’m not feeling it, I’m not showing up.” Which is a pretty positive interaction if we’re grading on the Mary Cosby curve.

Whitney is determined to bury the hatchet with Mary because their unresolved issues keep coming up in her meditation and work with her energy healer (or as Whitney pronounces it, “hiller”). For Whitney to think one lunch will fix her relationship with the meanest person in the Bravo universe is, as the kids say, delulu, but I respect her for trying.

Monica Garcia and Heather Gay enjoy a snowmobile excursion somewhere in the Utah mountains. After the requisite 30 seconds spent on the snowmobile to advertise a sponsor’s business, they sit in the lodge and rehash the Greek Easter fiasco from the day before. Heather tries to turn Monica’s relationship struggles with her mom into a sad story about how Heather and her mom have grown apart after Heather’s divorce, but I don’t think she’s prepared for the depth of trauma Monica is about to share.

Monica tells Heather that when she was 12 years old, her mother decided to move to New York to follow her dreams, leaving Monica with another family. “I’ve been there,” Heather says. Which I think is objectively false, but was also probably some weird editing.

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In the Barlow household, John Barlow pulls out his mission photo albums to show to his son, Jack Barlow, who is waiting for his mission call from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In his confessional, John gets emotional talking about how proud he is of his son. Lisa Barlow, on the other hand, is struggling to understand her son — why he doesn’t want a more elaborate party for his mission call reveal, and why he wants frosted tips, a question I myself have been asking every time I see a Gen Zer in the wild.

Meredith Marks, Monica, Heather and Whitney gather to go cross-country skiing, an activity that looks simple, but is actually incredibly difficult and exhausting. They last all of five minutes before calling it quits and meeting back at the parking lot for snacks.

Monica explains that her car is a rental because her mom took her car, threatening to call the police if Monica didn’t let her use it. The logistical details of the car ownership are murky, but from what I can tell, Monica bought the car but bought it in her mother’s name, which suggests some credit problems. I’m not here to judge, just trying to keep up. And struggling at that, if I’m being honest.

The other women share their conflicts with their mothers, except Meredith, who announces she speaks to her mother every day because she just can’t help herself.

Whitney tells Meredith that she’s planning a birthday party for her daughter Bobbie, and she wants to invite Meredith, but she also wants to invite Angie Katsanevas, and she’s worried there will be awkwardness between the two of them.

Meredith somehow uses this to bring up her “near fatal” car accident (she drove into a snow bank) and accuses Whitney of not being concerned enough for the life of her friend, who again, just drove into a snow bank. Like we all do at least once a winter.

In her confessional, Whitney says that Meredith is using the not-accident to get people to feel bad for her and forget that she started rumors about Angie. Here’s what Meredith has to say about that:

At the Katsanevas' home, Angie and her father, Louis, are making chicken lemon soup together and it looks amazing. If Louis publishes a cookbook, I’ll be the first to buy it. Angie asks her dad for the secret to a happy marriage, and his answer is, “You have to show Shawn who the boss is.” I’m no Dr. Phil but I think maybe that’s not super great advice for building a relationship of trust and respect?

Speaking of terrible relationship ideas, Whitney and Mary meet at Provisions for their healing (hilling) meal. They spend a few seconds making small talk about the snowstorm, then Mary does her best impression of the weather by turning cold and icy. Things get more tense when the waiter spills a bit of food on Mary. Mary treats the waiter with the same level of respect she has always shown people in the service industry — she berates her under her breath.

In a state of fury, Mary tells Whitney to come out with whatever it is she needs to say. So Whitney apologizes for the unkind things she’s said about Mary in the past. In response, Mary tells Whitney that she severed any chance they had for a future relationship, so Whitney tells her that Mary is also to blame, and is responsible for sending several harsh text messages that hurt her feelings (fillings). “Grow up, little girl,” Mary says while she gathers her things to leave. But she’s not about to leave without her food so there’s an awkward silence while she waits for her to-go box.

Back at the Barlow home, Jack’s friends and family have gathered to hear Jack read his mission call. This scene is the most truly Utah this show has ever felt. I’ve been to a million of these mission call reveals, and the only difference between this one and all the others is that usually, the mom of the missionary isn’t wearing Miu Miu.

“You are assigned to labor in the Colombia Bogotá mission,” Jack reads, and the packed family room erupts in cheers.

On the advice of her friends, Monica has invited her mother to Monarca, where I once had some transcendent lobster enchiladas. As soon as Monica sits down, her mother begins crying and describes a movie she saw about a woman in Croatia who had issues with her mom, who died, and they hadn’t resolved their issues. “I don’t want that to be us,” she tells Monica, and I’m sorry but it’s really funny that it took a movie about a Croatian woman for Linda to realize she should resolve things with her daughter.

But she doesn’t resolve things with her daughter. The two of them go back and forth for a while about what happened at Greek Easter, and who is being disrespectful to whom, until the waiter brings guacamole to the table and Linda says, “Look at that pretty dessert!”

The conversation really spirals from there, with accusations of abandonment, failure to pinpoint trauma, and descriptions of generational cycles of abuse, all flying at a high volume. It is not a good time, and I sure hope we’re not going to see much more of Linda because this is not the kind of content I’m looking for from the “Real Housewives” franchise.

Here’s hoping for more Miu Miu and fewer moms next week.