Inside Kirsten Dunst's Road to Finding Love With Jesse Plemons

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Originally appeared on E! Online

Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons only do dysfunction onscreen.

The couple hit it off—and earned Emmy nominations—playing the endlessly misguided Peggy Blumquist and her husband Ed, a butcher with some serious self-defense skills but really poor judgment.

"He's my favorite actor—the best I've ever worked with," Dunst told PorterEdit in 2019. "I just knew he would be in my life forever. I didn't know what capacity that would be at the time. When [Fargo] was over, I just missed him terribly. We didn't get together until a year later. We were both smart enough that we were wondering if the connection was just because we were working together. But it was real."

Sure enough, they got engaged in 2017, welcomed sons Ennis Howard and James Robert, now 5 and 2, and eventually married in 2022.

In the meantime, they played yet another uncomfortably wedded couple in 2021's The Power of the Dog and are in theaters now on dueling sides of a disturbing political divide in the dystopian thriller Civil War.

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In fact, Dunst suggested Plemons for the small but haunting part of an if-you're-not-with-us-you're-against-us soldier when another actor dropped out and Plemons was already in town with her and the kids.

"We're lucky Jesse did this for us," the veteran star, who plays a jaded photojournalist in the Alex Garland-directed film, told Entertainment Weekly. "Alex is lucky that he's my husband and he was free. We don't really have much of an exchange in that scene, so I could really enjoy his performance. I'm just blown away by him as an actor."

Kirsten Dunst, Jesse Plemons, 2024 Oscars
John Shearer/WireImage

But though Dunst has said she felt "an immediate connection" with Plemons when they first met, she was in no rush to share this life-altering revelation with the world early on. (Though she did tell a few people: "I didn't remember saying this," she said on the LA Times' The Envelope podcast in 2021, "but one of my best friends told me that I said to her that 'I will know this man for the rest of my life. I just know it.'")

It wasn't particularly surprising that she chose to keep the details of their relationship private until the rock on her finger made the announcement for her.

Having been very famous since her breakout role at 10 in Interview With the Vampire, Dunst—who's turning 42 on April 30—had been dating in the public eye for the better part of 20 years before meeting the man she has lovingly called her soulmate, and it felt as though every male acquaintance (or co-star) was a date until proven otherwise.

Kirsten Dunst, Jake Hoffman, Dustin Hoffman
David Keeler / Getty Images

When she was about 15, fresh from an arc on ER and the Oscar-nominated Wag the Dog, Dunst hit it off with Jake Hoffman, son of her co-star Dustin Hoffman. "He wants me to be his daughter-in-law!" she joked at the time.

But they were just a couple of kids. Dunst had a few things she needed to do first, before devoting serious time to romance—such as finish high school. She graduated from Notre Dame High in L.A. in 2000, and never looked back as her career further took off with The Virgin Suicides and the insta-classic Bring It On.

(She and Jake remained friends, reuniting for a warm reunion at a Tribeca Film Festival event in 2010.)

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Starting in 2001 Dunst starred in three Spider-Man movies with Tobey Maguire, two them made after the onscreen love interests had briefly dated in real life (the first, but not the last, Mary Jane and Peter Parker whose chemistry translated off-camera).

"I actually had some worries about [their breakup]," Sam Raimi, who directed all three films, told the Sydney Morning-Herald in 2007 after Spider-Man 3 came out.

"They apparently began dating with each other, I think, in the middle of the first movie...although I didn't know it at the time," the filmmaker said, "but definitely they eventually broke up before the second movie. I was concerned they wouldn't get the same chemistry back, but it was just me worrying.

"They really like each other, I think, very much. And that relationship probably just added to their ability to trust each other."

Spiderman, Kiss, Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst
Columbia Pictures

Asked at the Spider-Man 3 premiere if it was easier doing press with Maguire and Raimi because they'd all known each other for so long, Dunst told a reporter, "Yes, 'cause we can wink at each other and have a camaraderie that's, you know, stronger over the course of three movies."

Nowadays, her son James is a big fan of the Marvel superhero and enjoys running around the house pretending to flick webbing out of his wrists.

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Not long after the first Spider-Man came out, Dunst started seeing Jake Gyllenhaal after they were introduced by her Mona Lisa Smile co-star Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Knowing that any Hollywood relationship coverage was automatically tagged "engagement watch," Dunst told People, "Oh, I'm too young to get married. Seriously, I'm 22 years old. It's so annoying that they put pressure on you."

They got pretty serious—red carpets, moving in together, sharing a dog—but split up in 2004.

Jake Gyllenhaal, Kirsten Dunst
Justin Goff\UK Press via Getty Images

Talking to Howard Stern in 2015, Gyllenhaal blamed a fear of commitment for past relationships failing despite having been in love a few times.

"I think it was me," he said. "I think I probably just got scared." (There are thoughts on this subject.)

In 2007, Dunst got involved with Razorlight frontman Johnny Borrell, who readily admitted later that he wasn't great boyfriend material back then.

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Kirsten Dunst, Johnny Borrell
Evan Agostini/Getty Images

"I guess I was constantly attempting to be what I thought I should be doing in that scenario [as a rock star]," the British musician told the U.K.'s Telegraph in 2013, referring to the time frame that included his relationship with Dunst. "To be fair, I'm sure there were times when I was obnoxious. But that's rock'n'roll, you know?"

According to a 2014 profile of him in the U.K.'s Independent, Dunst dumped him not long after he rode his motorcycle through her house, leaving a trail of oil in his wake.

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"We all want the bad guy who doesn't give you what you want," Dunst said in the September 2011 issue of Elle. "I did a lot of sitting in my car, listening to sad music, crying over boys."

Kirsten Dunst, Jason Boesel
Castro, PacificCoastNews.com

She was dating Rilo Kiley drummer Jason Boesel at the time.

"He's not into partying and that works," Dunst said. "We have similar schedules: long periods of time off and periods of mad work. When I've finished work, I travel to be with him. It's special."

However, she was also shooting On the Road—and by the beginning of 2012, she was seeing costar Garrett Hedlund .

They seemed pretty settled, too, becoming each other's other half on the red carpet and looking awfully happy about it.

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Explaining how he won Dunst (whom he called "my gal") over, Hedlund told Details in 2013: "I took her out on a 3 a.m. canoe ride. It was not a stable canoe. We fell out and had to swim back in mucky, sh--ty water, like golf-pond water."

Kirsten Dunst, Garrett Hedlund
Caroline McCredie/Getty Images

But the timing seemed to be right, because Dunst was finally letting herself enjoy the fruits of her impressive career.

"I'm not as worried as I used to be," Dunst told Red magazine in 2014. "When I was younger, if I wasn't working, I would get anxiety. I'd feel like I should be doing something. But now I'm so good at chilling out. In my thirties I've become really good friends with relaxing."

Asked about Hedlund, Dunst told Town & Country in the summer of 2015, "We've been together for three and a half years, so, yes, it's going really well. We're the same age. We have similar backgrounds. He feels like family to me."

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Speaking of family, Dunst had told Red U.K. in 2014, "I'm in baby mode because two of my really good friends are pregnant right now. Thirty-three is a good age to have your first baby."

It also proved a great age for her to do some prestige TV. In 2015 she joined many of her fellow film stars in taking part in the small-screen renaissance, scoring a role on the second season of the critically acclaimed FX series Fargo.

And 21 years after her first Golden Globe nomination, for Interview With a Vampire, she got another one, Best Actress in a Limited Series or Made for TV Movie for her role as unfulfilled hairdresser Peggy, who won't let her husband Ed—or the guy she mows over with her car (pre-Succession Kieran Culkin, not the favorite son in the Gerhardt crime family)—stand in the way of her dreams of self-actualizing.

Fargo
FX

Peggy is "so fun to play, and it's nice for me too because now I'll have more opportunities to play roles in the comedic world again," Dunst told EW.com. "People always remember the last thing you did. And I love comedy—I really enjoy playing weird characters."

Of course, the TV Academy and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association weren't the only ones left impressed by Dunst's performance.

Hedlund was her date to the 2015 Emmys and the 2016 Golden Globes, but they broke up a couple months later.

Jesse Plemons, Kirsten Dunst, 2017 Film Independent Spirit Awards, Show
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for Film Independent

By that summer, Plemons, who had called working with Dunst "a gift," quietly swooped in and got the girl, officially putting an end to the star's days of crying over the bad boys (if not crying with emotion over her partner's serious acting talent).

They opted to not do the red carpet thing just yet when they were both nominated for Emmys in September 2016, but they didn't hide their affection for each other at the after-party.

Jesse Plemons, Kirsten Dunst, 2020 Golden Globe Awards, Candids
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

As Dunst has said, she needed a minute to figure out whether she was in love with working with the guy or the guy himself.

It turned out to be both.

Dunst recalled binging Friday Night Lights to get acquainted with her Fargo husband's work before filming got underway in chilly Calgary—"I knew he was awesome and that we were about to work together," she said on Jimmy Kimmel Live in November 2021—though she noted that she had yet to watch Breaking Bad (in which he played another stone-cold killer who's tough to shake).

"That's the last thing he wants to watch with me," she explained, noting that their friend Aaron Paul's wife may not have ever seen the show, either, so it wasn't just her. (She did, however, watch the Breaking Bad sequel movie El Camino, which came out in 2018.)

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Suffice it to say, Plemons and Dunst both relished the chance to reteam for The Power of the Dog, playing shy rancher George and recently widowed single mother Rose, whose sanity is threatened by George's cruel and manipulative brother, played by Benedict Cumberbatch.

All three actors were nominated for Oscars.

"I mean, when I watch Jesse and I on the mountaintop, I'm like, 'Oh my God, we're so dorky,' because we have to act so reserved with each other, and we have a child together," Dunst, who also called working with director Jane Campion a "lifelong dream," said on The Envelope, "It's just funny to pretend there's no history with someone you have a tremendous amount of history with. It's just weird."

"Maybe if we were alone on the mountaintop and like having, like, I don't know, a nice cocktail, it'd be great," she continued. "But it was just like, he's in his little outfit and I'm teaching him how to waltz, and it's all really old-timey and cute. But also his line when he's like, 'It's just so nice to not be alone" is, I think, one of the best lines of the film. When he did that, I cried off camera. I was just—I was so moved by his performance that day. And also I feel I wasn't that good of a dance teacher. That waltz. I mean, I got it together. I did it. I figured out how to teach him."

The Power of the Dog, Jesse Plemons, Kirsten Dunst
Kirsty Griffin/Netflix

But overall, she said, "We love working together. So, it's really, really easy to work with each other. We're very honest. We're very down to try anything. No one judges anybody. There's no ego. It's just how do we make this the most alive together and the most real?"

The couple went to New Zealand with Ennis to shoot the film in January 2020 and ended up on lockdown in March when COVID-19 shut down productions around the world, including their own. So, they rented a house outside Auckland, "for our son to have some grass to run around on," Dunst told the LA Times, and enjoyed the natural wildlife (their cat Sid "brings us a mouse every night") and their killer sound system, sitting in the perfect sonic spot they dubbed "the triangle."

"Anyway," she said, "that's what Jesse and I will do when we get home. Wash our hands, put the baby to bed and sit in the triangle."

They resumed filming that June, one of the few shoots allowed to go on amid the country's strict pandemic protocols." Jesse and I were lucky we were doing a movie together," Dunst told The New York Times. "We had each other through this whole thing, to laugh with, to b--ch with."

Kirsten Dunst, Jesse Plemons
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/Shutterstock

And they certainly didn't get tired of each other.

"I was like, as soon as we are done with this movie," Dunst recalled, "let's try and have another baby."

When the New York Times came knocking at their L.A.-area home in August 2021, Dunst held up Ennis' baby brother, James, her "newest guy, the Big Kahuna."

"I'm so tired, I haven't slept through the night in four months," she shared. "I've developed an eye twitch, too. Yeah, I'm in a really special place!"

Kirsten Dunst, Jesse Plemons, 2024 Oscars
Emma McIntyre/Getty Images

Civil War actually marks Dunst's return to the big screen after a two-year break to focus on her boys (and pass on the "sad mom" roles she was being offered after Power of the Dog), though she's been no less the movie star on red carpet date nights with Plemons.

"To be honest, that's been hard for me...because I need to feed myself," she told Marie Claire of not working in an article published March 5. "The hardest thing is being a mom and...not feeling like, I have nothing for myself. That's every mother—not just me. There's definitely less good roles for women my age."

Kirsten Dunst, Jesse Plemons, Civil War premiere, 2024
Eric Charbonneau/Getty Images for A24

But then she read the script for Civil War and, not having done anything like it, signed right up for active duty.

And when Plemons was a last-minute addition to the production, there was no chance that having this real-life couple on set would add any extra drama.

"Because we fell in love on a set, we fell in love creatively first," Dunst said. "I think we'll always come back to that, in a very not-involving-our-real-life way. And also, listen, we don't talk to each other on set. I left him alone, he left me alone."

But only during working hours.

"I love working with him," Dunst added. "What's nice is that we trust each other so much. He sent me a scene last night of this miniseries he's working on to get my opinion. If I'm having a hard time deciding on something, I'll have him read it. I trust his opinion more than anyone, and he cares about me more than anyone."

Maybe even more importantly, she noted, "We hate the same things."

That being said, Dunst was even more blown away by his chilling performance "'cause he is the kindest person," she gushed on Late Night With Seth Meyers in April. "He's just a really fantastic actor."

And while Dunst and Meyers are an impressive three-for-three as far as quality projects as costars go, read on for more couples who fell in love on set:

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(Originally published Jan. 13, 2017, at 3 p.m. PT)