Exclusive: Brooke Shields reveals how her daughter helped her understand her own childhood trauma

Actress and entrepreneur Brooke Shields has learned that her children have some valuable lessons to teach their mom.

Shields sat down with Oprah Winfrey as part of Oprah Daily’s “The Life You Want” class. In an exclusive clip shared with TODAY.com in advance of the release on April 10, Shields talked about the ways her daughter helped her overcome childhood wounds and step into her own power.

In front of an intimate audience, Winfrey and Shields explore “the mother wound,” a type of attachment relationship that can make children feel unworthy of being loved. Shields had an extremely complicated relationship with her mother, who also acted as her manager.

Shields said that her mother would buy ten inexpensive cashmere sweaters rather than one "good" one, opting for quantity over quality. After observing her mother's behavior, Shields decided she would purchase the one "good" item rather than ten inexpensive versions. But then, in an effort to keep it looking pristine, she never used it.

"Anytime I got something 'nice,' I put it away," Shields said. "I don't wear it. I don't use it."

Shields says that in the same way she didn't understand her mother's behavior, one of her daughters didn't understand hers. Shields and her husband, Chris Henchy, have two daughters — Rowan Francis Henchy, 20, and Grier Hammond Henchy, 17.

"She was so incensed and she said, 'I went into your closet and there was dust on everything!'" Shields said of one of her daughters, who continued on to say, "'Those nice bags? You work hard for your money, Mom. Use them! 'Cause if you're not going to wear this stuff, I'm gonna wear it!'"

She wasn't done quite yet. To really drive her point home, Shields' daughter added, "'And ... you're gonna die. Well, I hope not soon, but ... '"

As the audience giggled, Shields mimed how her daughter emotionally stabbed her.

When Shields asked her daughter if she had a point, her daughter said, "'Well, I'm going to get this stuff anyway, right?'"

"Everything that's mine is yours," Shields told her daughter dutifully.

Laughing, she continued the conversation, "You have to understand that I'm trying to understand my past, my attachment to things — but then I don't use them. I don't enjoy them. What am I saving them for?"

"What are you saving them for?" Winfrey asked.

"I honestly have no idea," Shields said. "Like, by the time I get around to it again, either I don't fit into it or it's out of fashion."

"OK, so you don't want to wear it but you don't want her to wear it either," said Winfrey. "What'd your therapist say?"

As it turns out, Shields's therapist did have thoughts.

Shields said her therapist thought that she inherited her fraught relationship with money and things from her Depression-era mother. Shields, however, is trying to take ownership of her own shortcomings, telling her daughter, "It's my problem."

Shields doesn't mind when her daughters borrow her vintage clothes, and in fact she loves seeing them in pieces she used to wear. But the problems begin when they reach for items she carefully placed out of easy rotation. And there's a very specific reason why.

When her daughter reaches for a new Chanel sweater, for example, Shields gets mad because "I'm angry at myself that I haven't enjoyed it."

Upon that revelation, the audience nodded in agreement.

Winfrey turned to Dr. Anita Philips, a well-known trauma therapist, to break down what happens for Shields in these instances.

Philips said that as Shields becomes more mature, she may feel like opportunities are passing her by, eroding her power.

"Beauty is power. Attention is power. The ability to get things and hold them — power. The way I structure my life — power. And she's bumping up against all these areas," Philips explained.

Shields said that as her conversation with her daughter went on, her daughter was getting more and more worked up, finally exploding with, "You're Brooke Shields!"

Shields wasn't sure how to take that comment in the moment, saying that she had spent the entirety of her kids' lives trying not to be Brooke Shields. She just wanted to be their down-to-earth mom.

Shields's daughter responded by saying that "down-to-earth" is a euphemism for "I guess Brooke doesn't have good taste." Her daughter wants her mom to enjoy herself.

"It was such an interesting moment for me because I don't live in my bigness," Shields said. "To me, to take up space in a room? A female? Famous? Pretty? All those things?" Shields stopped to shudder. "You don't realize that over time, that starts to become your M.O."

"I want to cry right now," Winfrey interjected. "This is so astounding to me because I have looked at you from afar, as millions of other people have, and we look at your beauty and your poise and the way you move yourself through the world, and we just think you have it so together ... and to think that you have all of this and you haven't stepped into the ownership of it? It takes my breath away."

With eyes watering, Shields admitted that she feels "partially ashamed of her behavior," and she's learning how to harness her power in her 50s.

Now that her kids are older, Shields said she feels like "the Macy's parade balloons when they start to blow 'em up." Shields is just now starting to feel empowered to be herself.

"I don't know if I could have gotten here before my 50s."

To watch Oprah’s full conversation with Shields on April 10 at 4 p.m. ET, sign up for Oprah Daily’s “The Life You Want” class.

This article was originally published on TODAY.com