Drew Barrymore Reflects on Growing Up in the Spotlight Since 11 Months Old: 'You Never Figure It All Out'

The host of 'The Drew Barrymore Show' looks back on her highs and lows and family legacy: "If someone shares their story, it makes me feel so much less alone"

Drew Barrymore — actress, talk show host, beauty ambassador (for Garnier) — has been on PEOPLE's cover a whopping 15 times. That’s in part because she started working in Hollywood at 11 months old, following in her family’s footsteps (her father, grandfather and great-grandparents and great-aunt and uncle were all actors).

“I have been a lifelong lover of this magazine,” says the 49-year-old. “It's more than a magazine to me. It's been like a safe place, a real marker of what the heck is happening in my life. I've done covers of PEOPLE that have shown that I'm flawed and figuring it out, that I'm trying to get my life back on track, that I've become a mom, that I've gotten married, that I'm doing something right at work or starting a new endeavor in this talk show. At every interval that's been symbolic in my life, there is a PEOPLE Magazine cover to show for it.”

For our 50th anniversary, she looks back on those stories, and what she’s learned.

Your first appearance in People was July 19, 1982, timed with ET. Do you remember that story?I love that the magazine ran what was probably my real mood in that moment. Kids don't have a filter, so I love [the headline] “Those eyes, those lips, those eyes. That name. The newest Barrymore in movies is E.T.’s earthly sister.” Oh, and look, it says heirs, which I like. By the way, “heirs” is much nicer than “nepo-baby” or “family business,” as I like to call it.

Looking back, is there advice that you would give to your younger self?
If I had tried to give advice to my younger self, I wouldn't have listened! When you're young, you think you know everything, and I was very stubborn and rebellious, so I not only didn't listen to advice, whatever advice I got, I just basically did the opposite.

But I would like this little girl to know that she will be a good mom and she will really care about her kids. I really parented myself, so I am not mad at my mom or dad. I was more disappointed in my own parenting. I think kids really need to feel safe, and so when I see [this little girl], it's like the first time in my life where I think I'm finally figuring out what it really takes to take care of kids because I didn't know what that was when I was a kid.

But now that I'm a mom of a 10- and 11-year-old, I'm like, okay, I think I understand what kids need.

Your first appearance on our cover was with Ricky Schroeder and Henry Thomas in November 1984, with the coverline: How to Make Your Kid a Star.
This was the most fun cover to shoot because I felt so safe with Henry. My whole life changed so much, but I had already been working since I was 11 months old, so this wasn't like an overnight thing. I had been working almost every day of my life up into this point. But to be with the Ricker? Ricky Schroeder and Silver Spoons was such a big deal when I was a kid. And so Henry and I felt very comfortable with each other. I remember being like, we're with the Ricker.

If your daughters said, "Mom, I want to go into the family business," would you let them?
My kids ask me all the time. They would love to be in film or on social media or sing, and I always just say, "School plays, theater camp, everything, [yes]. But [no to] being out there in the public eye until..." And then they say, "Well, what's the number?" And I always say, "I know you want an answer, and I know the fact that I can't give you one that's so specific isn't satisfying, but it's going to be a feeling and it's going to be when I think you're ready." [Then] I would so support them.

When I first had kids, I remember people asking me like, "Well, would you want your kids to go into the business?" And it always gave me such a sad feeling, as if this business was so toxic, like ew. And I just thought, that's not how I feel about this business at all. It has given me every opportunity under the sun and I couldn't appreciate my life more.

As a parent, I would really love to support my kids when they're older. Again, what number is that? I don't know, but it's not 13 and it's probably not 14. It's up there, but your kid will present themselves in a way where you've got to listen to them and support them and trust them. I don't know what number that is, but it's probably north of 14, 15!

At 13, you opened about about substance abuse. This interview was from inside a family treatment center, and the story is so honest, so unfiltered, and passes on so much wisdom. Do you remember that interview?
Oh, I remember this cover story so well, and it was very empowering. And when I look at it now, I don't see sadness or tragedy. I love that I was a walking cautionary tale because then when we talk about how we raise our kids in a world where they're all out there on social media, we all have to be almost in the mindset of what Hollywood parents were like, which is: Do I want to protect my child? What are the boundaries? What should I be teaching them? We're all rowing in that boat. So I actually feel like this gives me such a beautiful little merit badge, like a scout's honor to get into that conversation and know how to navigate that as a parent myself.

This is extremely positive to me because I know that I'm not lost anymore. I may feel lost again at different moments, because you never figure it all out and it never all comes together. You just keep finding things. And if you hold onto those findings, then you have this collection of wisdom and you don't feel as lost the next time. Your compass is a little more tuned in.

But also, this makes me laugh because if you thought this was a low point, no. Divorce with two kids, that was a much more difficult moment for me because all of a sudden it wasn't about [me], it was about [my kids].

And so whatever you think will be your lowest point or your hardest moment, it might not be. There might be another one down the road and it's okay. You will get through it—you might not do it on your own. You might do it by reaching out, and you might do it by daring to be so honest that you feel so naked and almost flipped out about, "What did I just say? What did I just put out there? I can't take it back now." Let that be a liberation that is invitational to other people to not feel bad when they're going through it.

When was the last time you met someone and they were like, "Yeah, I've never had a problem in my life, never went through a low point or a bad thing or had to learn a hard lesson or was embarrassed"? Nobody. We all go through so much tender, difficult stuff in life, and so if we're able to be transparent about that—I know I feel so much better if someone shares their story, it makes me feel so much less alone.

Who has been the most helpful for you in your journey?
I would say my partner in Flower Films, Nancy Juvonen, who's now Nancy Fallon. We met when I was 19 and she was the first person that gave me real tough love. [Things like] keep your promises, or vote or, “You cannot be late, I will not put up with your lateness. It's rude. It's selfish.” Those are things that you need people to tell you along the way. Nobody benefits from a yes man. That is not how you grow. Get people around you who hold mirrors up and go, "Do you like what you see? I don't. So take a good look because we need to fix this." Those are your true friends.

In 2007, you were the cover of our Beautiful Issue. 
Oh, I could not believe it. You can see in my face how lucky I feel to be chosen for this because I've been through so many awkward phases—I don't know how the Venn diagram ever came together that I would be chosen for this. Beauty is behavior. It's on the inside and if anyone compliments you on the outside, it's a really lovely moment and I don't know how I got so lucky.

And you shared the first pictures of Olive with PEOPLE.
This is so meaningful to me. I thank PEOPLE because when you have a certain job and you have a child, you want to present that story in a safe place so that you can actually protect your child from paparazzi photos. PEOPLE was where I went to make sure that my child was protected and we wouldn't be chased and followed and I could say, “Yes, here I am with my family. Now let's just keep ourselves safe.” PEOPLE has been so good to me and allowed me to share my story over decades. So, thank you.

When you look back over your incredible body of work, what are you most proud of?
The thing that comes to my mind is the fact that I like working on myself and that I know that I need to keep working on myself. I know that it's important to not be complacent, that there's always things that I can keep fixing, but I hope that one day—and it's really coming into focus—there’s a peace that I've never had because I felt like I was broken. Now it feels more like I'm not broken as much anymore. We may feel that way on certain days, but if you work really hard on yourself, you've got to go a little easier on yourself. And I've been very hard on myself throughout my life. I have pushed myself to become a more stable accountable, especially as a mom. [Becoming a mom] was game on for me.

But another thing I'm really proud of is that since I was 11 months old and in a diaper and put to work, I have, no matter what I've gone through in my personal life, I have never brought it to work. I've never screwed a job over. I don't ever flake. I don't come unprepared. I give everything of myself to work. I'm a consummate professional with an infallible work ethic. And as much as I expect myself to be a better, stronger, wiser person, I also expect myself to show up for any professional endeavor, giving my all. I don't phone anything in.

You have such a family legacy. Was there a moment for you that you were like, I made it?
For me, stopping drinking is one of the most honoring things I can do to the Barrymore name, because we have all been such hedonists. [Her father, aunt and grandfather had severe addiction issues.] Don't look to me as the pillar of health and wellness and having it all together. It's just like, you know what? This didn't work for our family and I'm going to stop it. I'm going to be the one to break the link in that chain and maybe my kids and their kids will be better off for it. We have to fight genetic follies that our families bring to us.

Ever since I could remember…somewhere around three years old, I felt this extraordinary responsibility, when I would watch my family's movies, to keep their name alive. It helps me make sense of why I feel so magnetized to work in the field of film and television. I've got it in my jeans and my blood, and I've been lucky enough that this business would allow me to keep going.

Credits

Photographer Art Streiber

Cinematographer Zach Eisen

Set Design Anthony A. Altomare/Buffalo Art Co.

Hair Daniel Howell/Walter Schupfer

Makeup Joanna Pisani

Stylist Lee Harris/The Wall Group

Prop Stylist Joseph Bell

Wardrobe Jacket and Pants: Dorothee Schumacher, Top: Victoria Beckham, Earrings: Patricia Von Musulin, Shoes: Sole Bliss

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