Cindy Crawford Opened Up for the First Time About 'Survivor Guilt' & We Just Want to Give Her a Hug

Looking from the outside, it’s easy to assume that Cindy Crawford‘s life has always been perfect. In addition to becoming one of the world’s biggest models, Crawford also found her partner in life with her husband, Rande Gerber, and has two successful grown-up kids. But, as she talked about in a new interview, there was one major tragedy Crawford faced early on in life that we could never have expected.

Talking to the Kelly Corrigan Wonders podcast recently, the supermodel opened up about the loss of her younger brother, Jeffrey. At the young age of three, Jeffrey passed away following a battle with leukemia.

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For Crawford, the grief of her brother’s passing was then coupled with the guilt she carried given that Jeffrey was her parents’ only boy (Crawford also has two sisters). “My dad wanted a boy, so the fourth was the boy and I think that there was a lot of guilt,” Crawford told hosts Kelly Corrigan and Christy Turlington, per Page Six.

“There’s like that survivor guilt of the other kids and especially because we knew that my dad really wanted a boy. We felt like ‘Well it should’ve been one of us,'” she remembered.

Those feelings, that remained for years after his passing, were even presented in their dreams. “It was so weird, for years, my sisters and I would all have these same nightmares, that it should’ve been one of us,” Crawford added.

Decades later, it seems Crawford is still coming to terms with the situation. “Just recently, I was doing some coaching through COVID. I actually had time to do real work, and I realized that one of the questions the coach asked me was something like, ‘What did you need to hear at that time that you didn’t hear?'” Crawford remembered.

“And my mom wouldn’t have known to say this, she was 26 years old and had just lost a child, but I needed to hear, ‘Yes, we’re so sad that Jeff has died, but we’re so happy you are here,'” Crawford said.

Knowing how hard it must be to lose a son or a younger brother, we can’t imagine what Crawford’s family went through at the time. We just hope they can now lean on each other and let go of the guilt.

Before you go, click here to see which celebrity kids lost their parents too soon. 

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